How is Pathological Lying Treated?

A woman in therapy for pathological lying.
Psychiatric medication used to treat pathological lying.
Article Details
  • Originally Written By: Tricia Ellis-Christensen
  • Revised By: Rebecca Mecomber
  • Edited By: O. Wallace
  • Last Modified Date: 20 July 2014
  • Copyright Protected:
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    Conjecture Corporation
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Medical professionals differ greatly whether pathological lying is a true disease or a severe character weakness. When accompanied by such mental problems like antisocial personality disorder, bipolar disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD); pathological lying is generally treated as a disease with cognitive and drug therapy. Compulsive liars without underlying mental problems are often treated with counseling. Extreme cases stemming from brain damage, injury or severe mental illness may require treatments like aversion therapy or desensitization. A clear and broad treatment set for this condition has not been defined because psychologists and psychiatrists have not specifically defined all types of it as a treatable medical problem.

Treatments

Treatments largely depend on the characteristics and health of the person and the extent of the lying. Some people lie frequently and may even develop detailed stories that involve bits and pieces of truth. When confronted, these people may eventually confess their lies but struggle to change their habit. For these patients, counseling is the most common treatment. A therapist tries to get the person to realize the consequences of his or her actions and understand the difference between truth and the lies.

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Personality disorders such as OCD and ADHD may respond well to a combined treatment of psychiatric medication and cognitive behavioral therapy. Desensitization treatment, exposure therapy, and mood-stabilizing medications for addictive behavior may help people overcome lying as well as treat underlying personality conditions. In severe cases, healthcare professionals may prescribe antipsychotic medications or aversion therapy.

Considerations

Many people who exhibit pathological lying also clearly exhibit symptoms of other treatable conditions. Accurately diagnosing underlying conditions is extremely important, both for treatment of the problem as well as preventing the development of additional problems. The last thing one would want to give a person with OCD is a stimulant, which would likely exacerbate the disorder.

Therapy and medication require compliance from the person being treated, and a pathological liar who has antisocial disorders may not wish to be treated. A person who suffers from this condition must on some deep level be committed to the work required in cognitive behavioral therapy, as well as be willing to take medications. The trouble with these methods is that a pathological liar can quite easily lie about taking medications, or about the effectiveness of medications. He or she could also lie about what is happening in their life, which may make the therapy ineffective.

Possible Relation to Brain Structure

A study on pathological lying published in the October 2005 British Journal of Psychiatry suggests that a pathological liar may have a slightly different brain than others. If this is true, it would make treatment very difficult, since its very difficult to effectively change a person's brain structure without harming them. Pathological liars have been shown to have 26% more white matter than people with other psychological disorders who don’t lie compulsively. Other studies have also linked the presence of white matter with the ability to lie, as those with autism, who generally cannot lie, tend to have lower amounts of white matter in their brains.

Additionally, research in child development shows that children tend to become much more credible liars when they are about 10 years old. Before then, they generally are not believable. This 10-year mark coincides with notable development of white matter in the prefrontal cortex. More white matter may simply mean more lying, and too much might translate to pathological lying.

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Discussion Comments

anon86835
Post 214

I am a 30 year old mother of one and have bee lying since I can even remember. I lie for attention, pity, to manipulate, for the thrill, to see how far i can go, to see if I get caught whether I can lie my way out of it.

My lies have been:

Saying that I was raped when I had sex willingly. I have done this several times. I did it just recently, actually. I actually engaged in a relationship with another pathological liar even though I am married. Well today, my husband said he was divorcing me. Funny thing is, that the other pathological liar doesn't even know he is one. I have investigated and done some research and have uncovered his lies. Because who better to know, right? Funny thing is, that it pissed me off (pot calling kettle black) and turned me on. In the sense that I understand.

This person is involved with masonry but made up these wild crazy stories about stealing sperm from him to create more bloodline children that he cannot access. He cried and everything. I lied to my husband and said that this man threatens our lives and demanded i be with him. I even moved out and lived with him while my husband waited. It all caught up with me in the sense that my husband just couldn't take the emotional torture that i was putting him through with the threats, the rapes etc. He never found out whether it was true or not but he decided to divorce me and though I am devastated I can't stop.

I like the attention, I like inducing the pain, I like the arguing and the challenge.

With the other guy I mentioned, I am currently lying about being pregnant with twins. I have sonograms and live video and fake doctor documents. I have even taken it a step further to say that I can die if i have these children. I am good at the crying and playing traumatized victim. I have made up these lies, oddly enough, in retaliation to his lies. As if it's a lie challenge.

I lied about my race. My husband caught me in that one.

I am destroying my life and my family. Big time. But I keep doing it.

I lied about being in the building during 9-11. Even though I worked there, I wasn't there that day. I told this elaborate story that i have told for so long now that sometimes I believe it.

What I am doing is crazy. The people I am hurting unending. The reason? Because i can? I don't know.

I know that I am not completely soulless because i do feel bad. And I believe I do it knowing that I am sabotaging my relationships because deep down inside I don't deserve them and it's my way of letting them go. But I can't just let them go; i have to make them hate my guts in order to protect them from me in the future.

anon86623
Post 213

My mother is a pathological liar. For as long as I can remember, she has lied about everything, even the smallest, most insignificant things.

When I was younger, she used to lie about what I didn't do compared to what my brother did for her; she used to do this to my face.

As I got older, she lied constantly to her family to get their pity and attention. My parents then got a divorce due to my mother's infidelity. She covered this up by telling everyone that our father sexually molested us and she left him because of this.

She lies to save herself, she lies to protect herself, she lies to get what she wants. It's not just the lying, it's the blatant selfishness that comes with the lying.

I read about the Munchhausen Syndrome, and this fitted her perfectly, except for the medical side of things. She lies for the attention and to be seen as a "victim", so that she gets the sympathy she craves.

Now, I am a mother of two, and I love my kids very much. My mother then started lying to my kids, creating vivid stories of bad treatment from her daughter: me. She does this to get their sympathy and "get them on her side" - everything is a competition and she doesn't like to lose. She has hurt me and my family with her lies over the years, and now is attempting to ruin my relationship with my own children. Her lies have scarred too many lives.

I have now cut her out of my life altogether. As confirmed by what I have read so far about pathological liars, there is no cure. As I read people's posts here, one thing strikes me as odd: you guys know that you are lying, you are actually aware of it, and I understand that you can't stop, but the fact that you *know* the very moment that the lie leaves your tongue.

If you really want to save your relationship/s, call yourself on your lies. As soon as a lie escapes your mouth, admit it outright "Sorry, that was a lie..". Maybe you will infuriate people with it, but I guarantee you will earn back the respect that you lost.

anon86568
Post 212

i can tell that I'm not alone when it comes to lying! all this time I'm thinking I'm the worst person in the world who lies so much that it's getting out of hand and basically ruining my relationship with the love of my life!

i lied to him about little things and trust me, it's killing him softly. the thing is, i lie but i get caught easily and then admit to it when i do get caught.

i need your help too, people! i don't want to lose this man. he is the best thing that has happened to me in my entire life! i would like to know how to stop! i don't know what to do and how to deal with it. honestly i don't know where to start.

i love this man and i don't want to lose him! i've been lying all my life and i don't know how to stop! I'm actually keeping even more secrets that i can't share with him just yet and it's actually killing me.

anon86286
Post 211

my husband lies like no other. he has told other people that I am a horrible mother and that I complain all the time. Which in turn has turned his whole family and friends against me.

His mother has gone so far as to call CPS on me because of the lies her son has told. Cps came and said there was nothing wrong. Anyway, how do I help him and save our marriage, or at least what is left of it?

How do I get others to see his lies and support me in helping him?

anon85902
Post 210

For as long as I can remember myself, I have lied. I know I've had this issue but have yet to truly face it. I sometimes want to end everything because of it. I'm only 16. I have read most of these posts and while reading these I have realized that it needs to end I don't know how to.

My parents won't help me. I believe they hate me. Parents are sometimes forced to love their kids; isn't that a shame? Lying comes to easily to me and it sickens me inside. My life stinks. The two people I love are dead and the last one I care second to the most is on his way to high heavens. (that scares me so much).

I have had quite a few things happen to me in the past that makes me hate myself even more than I do now. I sometimes wonder if my parents will like it when I'm gone. Do they ever wish grandma didn't die? I bet my "father" does.

Truth is, I don't like my own biological father. Why? Because he was never there for me when I was growing up in CA. I grew up with my Great Grandma and I felt I was deserted. It was a horrible feeling and it made me hate my biological parents so much. I made my life seem perfect because the truth was it was horrid to me. I wanted my real parents, not my great grandma, great uncle, and grandpa.

My lies were always so lame and useless. I feel ashamed and really worthless. Another reason for me to not eat. I hate food, I feel I'm fat and not worthy of anyone. I don't. I'm a horrible person because I lie. Even saying or seeing that word makes me sick. I feel I don't belong in society. I don't have any relationship with my dad. He is just that guy I live with.

Every day I think two more years and I'm out of here. I want to graduate HS and become someone but I don't want to be that girl that lied all the time in HS.

I don't believe in God. If anything, the only thing he ever did for me was take my great grandma a.k.a. my mother away from me. Does that mean I believe he exists? Everything I do and say is monitored and I feel that I have no privileges. I do suppose I don't deserve any. What kind of person am I turning into? I make my own self repulsed. I need help. No one will believe me soon enough. And I will feel my life is meaningless and pull the trigger. I hope that doesn't happen but who's to say?

We all live every day only being one day closer to dying anyway. Maybe I'm just weak or naive. If my father was to ever read this, I would be surprised. I know he would know who wrote this. I don't want to apologize to you father. In my eyes, heart, and soul you don't deserve credit for me. I bet you don't even want any.

I'm not the daughter you wished for. I never will be. I rebel against you because I dislike you. I don't want you to accept me. Judge me. I don't need your permission for being me. I've accepted that my brothers are messed up and I realized I am the one with the worst side of things. I don't know how to stop this lying. You can't go cold-turkey on something as big as this. I wish my grandma was here. Truth is: She's dead. Two years now and still counting. "She'll always live in my heart"- My Father. So? She's still gone and I'm still here.

Music isn't helping me either. I've tried and tried. Maybe I'll become an outcast and live somewhere secluded so no one but my cats can hear me lie. Does that make you happy, Dad? This is more aimed towards him I suppose. I'm not blaming him so much though, he didn't kill Grandma. Old age did.

anon85471
Post 209

I'm 32. The first time I lied I was maybe 5 or 6. I remember telling my best friend that my brother had died. The teacher told my mom, who in turn confronted me. Our family had recently divorced and my brother had moved away with his father.

My mom asked me "Do you feel like your brother died because he is gone now?" I said yes to make my mother feel as though there was some reason - some worthy reason- for the lie. But in truth, even then I knew, that I had lied for attention - to have a story to share that would captivate my young audience.

I loved my best friend then, and I love many of the people I lie to now.

I found it interesting to read what others lie about so I will make an abbreviated list of things I lie about:

1. my financial status. I lie that I am financially secure, or in a more extreme fashion I have lied that I am very wealthy. I am not. I have terrible credit and a low paying job. I do not own the many houses (in this country and beyond!) that I claim to.

2. My education. I lie that I am more educated than I am. That I have Masters degrees and am working on a PhD. I graduated from college, yes, but with a terrible GPA.

3. My job. I lie about the jobs I have had and the job I am currently in. I create entirely false professional accomplishments.

4. My family. I exaggerate about their accomplishments and "stations" in life.

I'll stop there. It seems I lie to make myself into the person I wish I was. Ironically, the lying has surely prevented me from accomplishing things, or maintaining relationships that may have helped me actually become the person I lie about being.

The back-stories, lies to cover lies. The questioning friend or parent. The utter mortification and sinking feeling when someone has caught you in a "slip." I know all that too well.

One poster said something along the lines of "how can I go to therapy when I would just lie to the therapist?" I have felt exactly the same way - that same fear.

I don't know how to stop - and, in fact, I don't think I will anytime soon. There are too many "alive and well" lies in my life right now that if I begin to be honest, the relationship I treasure most would surely cease.

I wish I could go back to the point where we met and be honest. I wish I liked myself enough to be happy with who I was and the things I have accomplished (which if I think about it, my accomplishments are something I could be proud of if I didn't have this bleeping super-hero alter personality that would make anyone feel boring!)

So there is it. I pray for us - the liars and the lied-to. I can only speak for myself here, but for those of you who have been lied to please know there is a real probability that the liar does love you - doesn't want to hurt you, but in some way, and for some probably terrible reason they may not even realize- they do not feel as though they deserve you.

We liars don't feel accomplished enough. Smart enough. Wealthy enough. Motivated enough. You name it- we dont feel like we are/have/deserve enough. It's a sad way to be.

I don't want my life to be like this, but honestly, I don't see myself changing any time soon. Good luck to all of us.

anon84826
Post 208

i have been lying my whole life and for the last four years the woman i love more than anything has received the brunt of this. she has tried to help and tried to be supportive and each time that i try, I'm good for a little while then i slip up again and lie.

It's killing her and it's killing me. i want to stop, more than anything in this world, but i just can't seem to. i need help. i need to learn how to not lie. please, anyone who can help me it would mean the world to me, it might yet not be too late for me to keep her with me and keep her happy.

vberr
Post 207

I discovered through reading these posts that I have a problem with lying. However, it seems as though it's too late. I have made such a mess of things that my wife is leaving me. Her hurt is so deep seated that there is nothing I can say to her to get her to hear me. She is very adamant about leaving because it's what she wants to do.

I would like for her to be with me when I go to the therapist to see exactly what the problem is, but she is not willing to go. She is so hurt that she just don't want to deal with me anymore. I love my wife very much and have said things to her that were contrary to what I really feel.

Unfortunately, words have a stinging consequence and that consequence is a hard pill to swallow. My prayer is that I am not to late in dealing with my problem and that I can get my family back. I know that my wife or others just don't understand what we go through if we have this condition but it is a pain in the butt for sure.

As I read these posts I have come to realize all of my problems and I felt some weight lift off of me because I could finally understand myself and what I was going through. I will say that if you are reading this that you need to get help!

Don't wait until it's too late and you lose your family, loved ones, your job or yourself in the process.

If you're like me and you're facing separation then my advice to you is to read these posts, understand your problem and go get help! Get help while you still have a wife or husband, get help while you still have a support system, get help while you still have a job, get help while you still have your sanity, because if you wait until it's too late then things will get progressively worse and then you will have a harder time than before.

anon83676
Post 206

I have been lying ever since i can remember. i am so confused now i have no idea what i have said to whom and what is true and what is not.

My lies are spontaneous and unplanned and i never think twice about what consequence my lie might have. today i was toying with the idea that i might have a problem and i came across all these posts where everyone is talking about so many things i have experienced and faced. i think i do have this problem, too.

i have not gotten caught too many times and i am good at dodging the situation or covering it up with more lies, but it is a haunting feeling. Those lies never leave you, they catch up with you sooner or later, and it is a very unhealthy and stressful condition to live in, worrying about when you might be found out.

The things i lie about are so stupid and so pointless. But they do have a trend, they make me a more interesting person. However, i have built up the person that i am based on these lines and now the borders and boundaries are blurring.

i am not sure who i really am once i peel off these lies away from me, one by one, and i am not sure if i will like or i will reconcile with the true person standing behind all these lies.

How do we deal with this? Lying is wrong and i hate that i lie. i just want to be true, to myself and others.

has anyone gotten past this? i feel like this is so much a part of me that i can't get out of it, ever. is this true? please help me.

if anyone can let me know how to get past this, do drop in a line.

erin13
Post 205

I lie constantly. I lie so much I don't even realise I'm doing it. I don't know what's a lie and what isn't anymore. My life is such a tangle of the real and the imagined. Even I can't tell which is which now. I lie to myself about the extent of the problem, and the extent to which it is normal.

I lie to my boyfriend, the love of my life. About all the times I've cheated on him, and he finds out and I lie to cover it up. I make up another lie even in the face of his, ‘if you lie to me again, it’s over.’

I lied to him when I got pregnant and told him it was his. I have no idea if it was his.

I lie to cover up the other life I lead, the idiots I hang around with, the attention I crave.

I lie to the other guys I pick up. I lie that I don't have a boyfriend. I lie about my sexual history.

I lie that I have a savings account with 20 grand in it.

I lie about my interests and hobbies to make myself seem more interesting.

I lie that my heritage is Czech – I have no Czech heritage in me whatsoever.

I lie about the score I achieved when I finished school.

I lie and exaggerate my drug problem to my friends; I lie and under-exaggerate my drug problem to my family.

I lie that I was a ballerina and that explains how skinny I am not and my eating disorder.

I lie to my friends and pretend I’m better and have overcome my eating disorder. They are obviously baffled by my behaviour and what is going on.

I lie to them and cancel on them and go and do things I guess I would rather be doing with men I don't even know? Is this what I want? I can't even think clearly enough to know.

I lie to everyone I meet about my qualifications and what I studied at university and the reasons that I left. And I justify it to myself.

I straighten my hair and work at length to lie and pretend it's straight.

I go to the solarium and lie and say I've been in the sun.

I lie to myself and pretend I'm fine. I can actually truly, convince myself that the life I lead is normal. Sometimes. Then it all comes crashing down.

I know the truth will set me free. I am so ashamed of what I am and what I have become. I know I wasn't always like this. I am so sick of hurting everyone, I am so sorry for hurting everyone. I have burnt so many bridges.

I am so out of touch with my heart and soul, who I am, what I want from life, my potential. I have no idea anymore. The confusion and the lies are as thick as a maze.

anon83186
Post 204

I lie constantly. I lie so much I don’t even realise I’m doing it. I don’t know what’s a lie and what isn’t anymore. My life is such a tangle of the real and the imagined. Even I can’t tell which is which now. I lie to myself about the extent of the problem, and the extent to which it is normal.

I lie to my boyfriend, the love of my life. About all the times I’ve cheated on him, he finds out and I lie to cover it up. I make up another lie even in the face of his, ‘if you lie to me again, it’s over’

I lied to him when I got pregnant and told him it was his. I have no idea if it was his.

I lie to cover up the other life I lead, the idiots I hang around with, the attention I crave.

I lie to the other guys I pick up. I lie that I don’t have a boyfriend. I lie about my sexual history.

I lie that I have a savings account with 20 grand in it.

I lie about my interests and hobbies to make myself seem more interesting.

I lie that my heritage is Czech – I have no Czech heritage in me what so ever.

I lie about the score I achieved when I finished school.

I lie and exaggerate my drug problem to my friends; I lie and under-exaggerate my drug problem to my family.

I lie that I was a ballerina and that explains how skinny I am not and my eating disorder.

I lie to my friends and pretend I’m better and have overcome my eating disorder. They are obviously baffled by my behaviour and what is going on.

I lie to them and cancel on them and go and do things I guess I would rather be doing with men I don’t even know? Is this what I want? I can’t even think clearly enough to know.

I lie to everyone I meet about my qualifications and what I studied at University and the reasons that I left. And I justify it to myself.

I straighten my hair and work at length to lie and pretend it’s straight.

I go to the solarium and lie and say I’ve been in the sun.

I lie to myself and pretend I’m fine. I can actually truly, convince myself that the life I lead is normal. Sometimes. Then it all comes crashing down.

I know the truth will set me free. I am so ashamed of what I am and what I have become. I know I wasn’t always like this. I am so sick of hurting everyone, I am so sorry for hurting everyone. I have burnt so many bridges. I am so out of touch with my heart and soul, who I am, what I want from life, my potential. I have no idea anymore. The confusion and the lies are as thick as a maze.

anon83161
Post 203

I am 27 years old. I am what most people would call a pathological liar. I have lied from as far back as I can remember. I didn't know I was doing it until I met my fiancé. I have lied to her from the beginning about things that shouldn’t have been lied about to begin with. I realize now that I do it but want to stop.

Although I have gotten a lot better with it and have learned to control it for the most part, I still find myself doing it every once in a while. I lie out of fear. I lie because I'm afraid no one will accept me for who I am. I lie to her because I’m afraid she won't love me for who I am.

She is a wonderful woman and mother. She cares dearly for us. But now I've lied so much in the past that now when I tell the truth, it's hard for her to believe me. She found things out about my past, and was disgusted, disappointed and upset. Which is why I lied about them to begin with.

I know this is not justification but it is the thought process. I adore this woman and would do anything for her which is why I want to fix this issue. I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

I have never been unfaithful. I have never slept around. I have no intentions of sleeping around. This is the woman I want to spend my life with. So please help me.

anon83033
Post 201

Sigh no more gents and ladies, sigh no more!

Just accept who you're and what you're, then think about how to live better dealing with your difficulties as everyone on the planet does. PL appears to be great entertainer to make everyone happy and make things go smooth. Find out your way to go!

anon82942
Post 200

I am 13 years old and I never thought of myself as a pathological liar before. I am a horrible liar and I lie all of the time about the stupidest things. Nobody in my house believes me and i get caught all of the time. I don't lie about anything serious. I just do it all the time about little silly things.

My mom and dad don't trust me and I get to do nothing that a normal 13 year old would be able to do.

I also feel really guilty all the time because my parents are getting into fights and getting mad at each other more and more easily because of my lying.

I don't do much of this consciously (although I don't even know if that is a lie or if I am just making that up to keep myself from being hurt) but I need it to stop! I hate this life and I've read some other stories from this site and really don't want to end up with no friends, wife, or family that wants me around (which is mostly where I am now).

If anyone has insight or knows what to do I would really appreciate help.

anon82862
Post 199

I am 32 years old and a pathological liar. I have been lying for as long as I can remember. I am so ashamed of what I am and of all the things I have said that have hurt others. I never mean to be malicious in my lies, but to be honest I don't really take other feelings into regard until it's too late.

I have no friends; I don't let anyone get that close. I have been with the love of my life for eight years now and we have a child. I have put my husband through pure hell and he still stays?

I have been to psychiatrists and psychologists. They put me on meds and tell me they can't really handle this problem, that maybe I need to seek help from someone more qualified.

I feel like I am an outcast, a villain in a movie that never stops playing. But to my victims I am the most amazing, innocent person they have ever met. Until they cross me and I become defensive and blame it all on them.

I don't want to be like this anymore. Meds seem to exaggerate the problem, and God knows I don't need that!

I literally handed my first two children over to my ex-husband without thought to save myself from lies. You want to know what real heartbreak is? Try explaining to your 12 and 10 year old why they don't live with you and why they only see you randomly throughout the year. Shame on me!

Why can't I stop? Why can't I find the help that I need? Why does it just seem to get worse and never better? Why?

anon82634
Post 198

I am 36 and have been a compulsive liar for as long as i can remember. I lie about things that do not even matter, even to the ones I love.

I am on the last leg with my marriage because of it. My wife has given me one more chance. It really took her telling me she was going to tell our children when they came back from vacation about our divorce until I actually looked into the mirror and did not like the reality of my actions and the grief I have caused her.

I feel blessed that she is trying once more and am praying I will be successful. I don't cheat on my wife but when she asks me who I was last evening (I am in sales and entertain clients) I will not be truthful, turning into more lies to cover the last one up. Even though I was with clients.

I am actually thinking about quitting my job because just today (I counted) three people to include my boss who told me to spin the story when i spoke to the customer. I admit I am very good at it and do very well at what I do but it seems like it is contributing to a lifestyle I want to bury and walk away from.

Thanks for reading.

anon81655
Post 197

I am 20 years old and have lied a lot in my life. I have lied to make my life seem more “interesting” or to get away with things. I have too much of a bold personality to have such a boring, plain life. It has been my number one downfall.

These are the things I have lied about.

- I have lied about my heritage. I often say I am half Italian, which is not true. I am only a quarter Italian.

- I have lied about my birthplace. I have stated that I was born in Wales, this is not true.

- In the past I used to lie about my age, but I have not had a problem with this for some time. I feel I have finally caught up to myself in age.

- I have lied about my mother. I have stated that she was born and raised in England. She did live in England, yes, but she was born and raised in California.

- I have lied to a few such people about being from New Zealand. I’ve never even been.

- In the past at one point in time, I lied to a few people about being from Louisiana. I haven’t lied about this in some time though.

- I have lied about being Catholic. While I have many family members who are indeed Catholic, I have never seriously practiced Catholicism.

- I have lied about boyfriends. A few I have mentioned, in fact, do not exist.

- I have lied about having a drug history. While I have done some drugs, it is very limited and I know longer do them, except for smoking weed of course, but I hardly classify that as a drug.

- I have lied about jobs I have had. I have had many jobs, but not as many as I have said.

- I have lied about sports I have played. I never played a single sport in high school.

- I have lied about having a child. I have never been pregnant.

I am a liar. I have lied about many other things I can not even think of. I tend to stretch the truth. That is my main means of lying. I take things that are, in fact, truth and stretch them.

For example, my mother has English heritage in her, as do I. I have stretched this saying that I was born in Wales and that my mother is from Wales. This is not true.

I am ashamed and will continue to remain ashamed. I am working very hard on my problem but am so afraid to tell people. I have lied to so many. I have not lied much to my parents though, for they know the truth about my life (the main thing I lie about).

My dear friends also know much of the truth about me. It is small people I think I won’t see again that I tend to lie to. I don’t lie much about little things, mostly big things from my past.

However, I have lied to the love of my life. I met him working at a small theatre where I thought it would be fun to pretend that I was had lived in New Zealand for some time.

Time went on and I kept up the charade. Now, three years later, I am in love with this man and he is love with me and still thinks this true of me (I can be incredibly convincing).

The worst part is - I am extremely good at lying. I have all the facial features, body language, vocal tones, and telltale signs covered. I have back stories and back stories for those. This makes it very difficult to break this "habit".

I don’t know how to not lie. It is more than a habit; it is an addiction as potent and dangerous as drugs.

anon80786
Post 196

i don't understand how to beat this. amazing posts.

anon80652
Post 195

After reading these articles, I know I'm not alone. I hate lying, hurting the people that mean the world to me having no friends. I wonder why? Who would like a person like me?

For my children's sake and my husband's, I'm going to put an end to this. I'm going to stop myself and start being honest to me and my family starting from now.

anon80411
Post 194

I used to lie about everything, just for a little attention. I lied throughout my childhood, just to look cool, and this continued through part of my adulthood.

Ironically, it was one of my good friends who helped me get through this part of my life by constantly calling be someone else's name that I can't remember, in reference to them being a liar.

Now I look back and I feel so stupid. When I get drunk I'll make up crap still, but the next day I tell everyone anything I can remember that was a lie that I was full of it and don't believe the crap I say when I'm drunk.

Now Karma has come back to haunt me with my past. I married a pathological liar and I don't know how to get her to stop, and now she has started to steel from me to boot.

I figure, rather than confront her every time she is lying, I'm going to try the way that broke me. Now I can't even lie about even simple crap without felling completely guilty and retracting my lie as soon as it spills out (unless I'm drunk so i try to stay away from drinking). I wish the best of luck for anyone else who might be having these issues.

anon80220
Post 193

I'm 17 and i can definitely say I'm a pathological liar. why am i telling you this? because it gets me really down. i got kicked out of my old school because i made up a story about me and a teacher because i wanted the attention and my friends craved the stories. i just gave them to them. It's strange because at the time i didn't think i was doing anything wrong but looking back i know it was.

I'm at my new school now and i crave the attention of this teacher and i make up stories or act really down when ever he is around just to get sympathy and attention off him.

before i came on here i was thinking about how to hint at a problem to him, to make him feel sorry for me, but without getting anyone into trouble but then i thought i really don't want to do that even though i do, if that makes sense.

so i discovered this site. does anyone know of anything i can do. i confuse myself sometimes. my dad is a mental health nurse so i kind of think he'd notice if there was actually something wrong with me but then again he might not.

i believe I've got what they call histrionic personality disorder but then i don't know if I'm saying that because i actually do or because it seems like i do and i want the attention. it sounds like me -- especially the bit about sexual attention.

I'm just weird but i can't stop myself. I've made up boyfriends, facebook profiles, stories all for either attention, sympathy or sexual attention. I don't know what to do. Ugh. i hate my life!

anon79890
Post 192

Wow, i am also a pathological liar. i lie to everyone and everything. I suspect my mom knows that i am one but she just has to cope up with me. I lie about the most silly things.

I am in a relationship with a lovely man who loves me to bits and pieces but i have lied so much about my past, if he knew i am sure he would dump me for sure. When i lie i feel like crap. But lying is all i have done, and when someone confronts me, i hate them forever. As a result i always switch friends so they can't catch up with my lies. I am 25.

Reading this i know i am not alone. I want to stop lying.

anon79846
Post 191

My name is Shelby and I am 13 years old and i am a pathological liar. I have been lying for a long time and I have realized it is hurting the people i love more then anything.

Even than when my mom told me to read what a pathological liar was, i felt like it was stupid until i read what the definition was and when i found out everything they were saying was me it really took my breath away because i lie about the most stupid stuff.

Yesterday my mom asked we who was signing this paper that i need signed every week and i immediately said "you and dad have." well she said "i have signed this only a few times all year long". i told a lie and i thought i could get out of it, and right there i knew i should just say i am lying but i didn't.

The one thing that eats me up inside is that i told a big lie to a person i didn't even know. I did it only to make her think I was cool. And the thing is my cousin who knows me caught me lying as I was doing it in front of him and I didn't care that he knew i was lying. He even looked at me weird because he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

After we left the girl he asked me why I was lying so much. It was only to make her think I was cool. The sad part is when i was saying it I really felt cool. And that started me off to be the the person I am today. I don't know why but it makes me feel better when I lie about who I am when I'm talking to others but when I'm done, I think to myself that I am only lying to myself and how miserable I feel.

I simply hate myself and i don't understand why because everything is good in my life. There is no reason to lie about it but I do and still will even after this. But this is going to be my starting point to change. I'm so sick and tired of lying about every little thing that comes my way in life.

How sad that i am 13 and already realize that i have a choice to stop or continue. i have not came to the point of losing my family or friend but i need to stop this nasty habit before my life is washed right before my eyes and reading these posts i realize i am not the only one in the world with this problem and i only lie about the stupid things that are not even worth lying over.

The thing is i would not get in trouble like i do when i lie i want to stop. Saying this is making me feel better and it makes me feel like there is hope in this and i am happy i am not alone in this. if my mom was not here i would not know how to express myself and i am ready to make a commitment for me and the people i love because lying is not the way to go for me. I am still young and i can redirect myself but i don't know how many times i can say this. i am glad i am not in this alone.

P.S. we all ask for help on this site. But we all know the answer to the cure: we just have to listen to it.

anon79313
Post 190

i am 26 years of age. my whole life I've lied.

i figure recognising the problem and addressing it will send me down the right path but that's the problem -- the damage is done with what I've lied about!

I've gone from job to job, from girlfriend to girlfriend, and all have lent me a reaching hand to stop the crap, but it's never helped and i lie more and more to make it feel better!

If there was an instant cure tomorrow, you would see me at the front of the line, keen to end the problem!

But there's no cure, no magic therapy -- just a continual urge to lie! sometimes i think why me? Then it gets to the point of taking my own life! It is out of control. I hare being a liar!

The only way is to train yourself. Relax a few times during the day. Read newspapers and magazines and study interesting articles and when you feel the urge, don't say you or someone you know know was involved, say it in a third perspective view! (like, imagine that happening here or happening to that person!) but relate it to the topic and steer away from yourself or others.

Have a safe word so when you're in a conversation with friends and relatives and you feel like blurting something out for the sake of a conversation, say your safety word in your head as many times as you can until the urge recedes or go back to topics you read!

It is curable and it is defeatable - just remember: don't give up. We have all taken the first step in recognising our problem. the hardest part's over. good luck.

anon79019
Post 189

my child is nine and he is so careless and a liar. He is brilliant in school but his copies and books look like rubbish. he doesn't care.

he also lies about many things like taking money, and making mistakes. I am getting nervous. he does not give me full respect.

He is very lovely and has a nice personality but when nervous beats his younger sister and wants to be the commander over his brother and sister. please help me know is he normal and how can i deal with him without driving me crazy?

anon78932
Post 188

I've lied to everyone in my entire life since I could remember. I started off in grade school, around second or third grade. I was completely friendless, and I did it seeking attention.

But being a young child, I thought it would be ok and i wouldn't have to do it any longer. But, now it's like an impulse.

I lie to people I don't even know. I get my friends in trouble and myself. It's getting way out of hand. I want to stop, but it just happens.

I'm almost 17 years old, and I lie about the most ridiculous things. It started out as a small simple thing just to at least try and get some attention from other kids, because I've grown up emotionally and physically abused by both my parents, and it put much more on me not having any friends.

Now, it's causing me to lose all my friends. I still am verbally and physically abused by my parents, I've been depressed because of it all for the past five years, I've turned to tobacco use, prescription drug abuse, alcohol, and I've been thinking about using meth and coke.

I've also been contemplating suicide a lot lately.

It's just my lying is effecting my life negatively and everyone else around me.

anon78097
Post 187

I am thirty one, and I've been a pathological liar for the last twenty years. I lie about everything, what I did in the day, the things I saw. In my real life I am a very boring person, I don't do a lot, and not a lot happens around me, but if you were to hear my stories I'd have you believe that I lived some exciting and dangerous life.

I don't know what to do. I can't stop lying, no matter what I try. I have hoped from group to group, moving every time I knew everyone knew I was a liar. I've no friends from high school, past jobs or social scenes. I've stopped the hopping around now, but I can't stop lying.

I've lied to everyone I know and everyone I meet. My lying has rendered me non viable as a human being, and that's not asking for sympathy, I just lie that often.

I'm scared and I'm tired and I want it to stop. I've tried medications and therapy but nothing seems to help. I just want to open my mouth and not hear another lie come out.

It makes me tired when I leave my friends and I think back on all they lies I told them. It's this stupid, ugly weight that I can't seem to shake.

I no longer seek a relationship because I've lied to all my ex's and don't want to cause anyone else any more pain- no, I'm tired of feeling guilty. I try not to talk when I'm out, but I can't help but babble.

Whenever I'm confronted, I turn almost psychotically defensive and create more lies that explain why my accusers are lying and are "Out to get me."

I've never cheated on anyone, I've never crossed lines like that, but I can't stop lying.

I'm thirty one and I've been a pathological liar for the last twenty years and I don't know what to do.

anon77326
Post 186

I am fifteen and I'm a pathological liar. I just now realized it when I read this article. I lie about the dumbest things there are.

I lie about brushing my teeth, taking out the trash, putting away the laundry. I lie about experiences from when I was younger and it is tearing me apart. I'll make up elaborate, stupid things that could've happened to me and tell them to someone just to see their reaction.

I've lied and have been lying to my family and friends for years. I have never done drugs or been popular, but that isn't what my friends know.

I finally found this girl that I love and I lie to her all the time and it hurts the second it leaves my lips. The only reason I looked this up was because one day she jokingly said that I was a pathological liar.

And when I read about what it was I was really hurt until I realized that she was right. She may have been joking, but it is exactly what my problem is.

Sometimes I don't even know what the truth is. It is really scary and it hurts when I think about all the pain I have caused to the people that I really care about. I hate seeing the people I love suffer from my problem.

I would try to get therapy, but I would probably lie to the therapist so much it wouldn't even help.

The only reason I haven't lied in this post is because it's anonymous and even at that I'm still tempted to try and say how my problem is worse than any of the others posted here, just so I could get some sympathy from you.

anon77302
Post 185

There's this girl i know. She also is a pathological liar. I used to be friends with her, but her lying began to get out of control and my friends also began to see who she really was.

It's not the fact that she would lie, but it's the fact that even when we caught her up in a lie with hard evidence, she would lie as if her life depended on it. It got so frustrating to the point that i stopped hanging out with her.

I admit i would make fun of her, which i feel bad about, but it really began to irk me to a point where i just wished she would admit just one lie, that's it and would leave her alone.

As a Christian i know it's bad to take such a thing so personally and to talk bad about her but when i would hang out with her it would be so hard not to.

It's almost as if she believes her own lies. Right now she has just came out with the biggest one yet, that she's pregnant. About a month ago i told her friend abby not to believe her because shes going to say that she had a miscarriage, and sure enough, i found out today that she said she had a miscarriage, go figure.

Please someone pray for this girl that she might be able to get treatment. she needs help and if she doesn't get it taken care of she's going to be completely friendless.

anon77295
Post 184

I have pure obsessional OCD and mild Asperger's and I sometimes exaggerate, mostly to make conversation and relate to others.

I find it difficult to converse with people on a normal level, so instead I relate to them by agreeing with what they're saying.

In doing so, since they often complain about their problems, I invent problems that I don't actually have in order to compete for the saddest problem award.

I guess it's my perfectionist tendency to develop the perfect problem that can outdo the problem of the person I'm conversing with. In that way I feel successful in the conversation.

anon76434
Post 183

I lie all the time about stupid pointless things. Telling the truth or saying nothing would be easier, but i just seem to do it on impulse.

When I lie i don't actually realise I'm lying until I've said it and then I'll argue like it depended on my life if someone questions what I've said.

I find it impossible to tell the truth even when there's no reason whatsoever to lie and the bad thing is I don't even feel guilty. I seem to make up elaborate stories of things that never actually happened and i like to change them as i go along tangling myself in the lies. I don't know what to do.

anon75856
Post 182

I'm 14 and a pathological liar. I've suspected for a long time that I have some type of lying disorder, and this article helped to confirm my suspicions. My life, as everyone knows it, is one huge lie. I lie to my friends and family, day in and day out, feeling no guilt about it, and even convince myself that I'm telling the truth.

I can't do this anymore, I need help before it gets any worse. I can't help but feel like my bipolar disorder contributes to this, but I'm not exactly sure how.

The last two years, I've spent writing out my lies, like trying to kill myself, and all the girlfriends I've had, and boyfriends, and drugs I've done, and my drinking problems, and more. I don't know what to do, because I can't go back on these lies now! They're too big, too substantial, and too complex. I need help desperately, but have no idea where to get it. Somebody, please help me.

anon74795
Post 181

I'm 27 years old and i have a partner who is a compulsive/pathological liar. we have been together for two years and I've just realized what the problem is. he lied about being abused by his swimming coach. then he said it was his uncle and his father who hurt him and his brother too. he said that they made him rape his brother and that he felt like a monster.

he also told me that he had voices in his head and they told him to touch our six month old boy. i have three boys who lived with us and he said that he had thoughts of touching them too. i had to leave, even though i cared very much.

we stayed in touch and he kept lying about so much stuff. he seemed so depressed and he would cry all the time. he lied about having voices in his head and took medication for six months.

he admitted to me last night that he was never abused, he didn't have schizophrenia, he never had those thoughts of touching my children- he said those things so that i would hate him. which i don't. i love this man with all my heart and i am going to help him to get better.

he began lying from a very young age and lied to get sympathy and comfort from people. he has low self worth and while he seems to be ok socially, he really isn't comfortable being himself around others.

he never believed that i loved him but i believe he might realize it now. he trusts me and his honesty with my is the beginning of a new beautiful future! i love you.

I'm thankful that i read all these interesting stories. it has really opened my eyes. never be afraid to change and admit that you lied- you might soon see that you are more loved, and valued than you realize. --claire 6

anon74417
Post 180

I'm 17 and I'm a compulsive liar. I started lying to get attention from other people and to get friends at school.

Gradually, my lies started getting worse and worse and getting more and more complex over a few years. Now I am afraid that everyone I actually care about will find out that I have lied to them about the small and big things in my life like how I have made up friends and boyfriends.

I am too much of a coward to tell them. All I know is that I need help before it becomes even worse.

anon73752
Post 179

I'm !5 years old and just recently lost all of my friends to a very long term large amount of lying. i had told them that i had relatives visiting from england, but they later found i was lying about that and all the other things i told them, like traveling all over the world and meeting famous people. but it was all just a huge lie.

i guess i wanted them to like me and accept me as a popular person in their group i would go to any length to get their attention. but i didn't want to lie to them, they were good friends to me and i cared about them.

But i continued to lie and lie and lie and couldn't stop even when i tried to tell them i tried really hard not to lie, they just laughed and began making fun of my lies on facebook.

i really hate myself for what I've become. I'm just this terrible person who lies to the people they care about.

i really need some help, so if anyone is out there who can help please let me know. i can't do this much longer.

anon73323
Post 178

My name is Natasha and I am a pathological/compulsive liar.

I am only 15 and have made up so many lies I don't even know where to begin. My life is one big lie and I lie everyday. My latest lie is "I'm pregnant with twins."

I have faked a miscarriage before to get attention, too, and I will have to do that with this "pregnancy" too. I have lied to counselors, my mom, and classmates about seeing three of my friends commit suicide. I have never seen a dead body or have a friend commit suicide.

I have faked and am faking people on myspace and that makes me feel good in a weird way. I have called CPS on my father for things that weren't even true (but some were like his drinking and smoking weed.)

I need help but I'm afraid of my mom knowing of me being a pathological/compulsive liar. This is only a little snippet of what my life is. I don't know how to stop it or what to do about it. I feel like a monster.

We watched the movie Girl, Interrupted in class and I feel like I need to be in a place like that. Please help.

anon71435
Post 175

I have a lying problem. I have lied about everything I have ever said.

I always tell myself before I start talking, do not lie over and over again, just be honest, but it just slips.

I tell people I have drug problems, but really I don't. I mean, I do a lot of drugs but I am not an addict to them.

I don't want people to know I am a liar because then no one would believe me when I tell the truth. I would want to tell people what I have lied about, but I get so scared.

i lied about being raped before -- everything, even when I was little. everyone believes me. it is so bad. I am 17 years old and no one knows I am a liar. it's just so sad.

I want to stop. I really do. I want to tell somebody but I can't! I hate myself.

anon69735
Post 174

This posting is very helpful. I have lied to everyone in my life, who are worth keeping around. I told my friend dhanushika I had a friend who died of self harm. This self harming friend does not exist. I did it to get sympathy from her. That is the only way I know how to make "friends" does this make sense?

I manipulated her into giving me her approval of friendship.

I told my other friend muchin that I was homeless at one point. I am wrapped up in lies. I am not homeless. I am depraved but well fed.

I write this because I am a coward to tell them what I did to their trust. In a sense this is also my redemption as it is out there.

anon69355
Post 173

My friend Monika is a pathological/compulsive liar. She use to lie every time in order to gain attention. Also, she lives alone in a house. She does not want to share her room and also got separated from her boy friend with unknown cause. She writes a diary where she mentioned about day to day life, also the lies she spoke every time.

anon68624
Post 171

I am pretty sure my Mom is a pathological/compulsive liar.

When i was a kid I would trust her to always tell me the truth. Trips to disney land with her rich boyfriends, stuff like that. She always had different problems: brain tumors, being pregnant, etc.

I love my mom but she really kinda messed me up. Once she came home with half a shaved head saying that she had brain surgery. I don't even know who my real father is because she won't give me a straight answer. About eight years ago she was put in the hospital because of this behavior.

I remember when she was being evaluated by the courts, she lied and said the reason she lies is because of hepatitis b or something. They still let her out too.

It just makes me so angry and embarrassed. I just joke about it with my friends but it makes me want to punch her. I know that's horrible to say and i never would. The real sad part is that the drunk she is married to know believes her. I don't really know how but he does. They can't even pay their bills because she spends all the money going to the "doctors" which is actually a hotel.

My brothers don't even talk to her anymore, but i am the baby and she is all i ever had. I just wish she would stop. Reading these comments from other people with this kind of lets me understand my mom more, but i can't forgive her for what she has and still is doing.

anon66786
Post 170

I am 53 and have been lying since I can remember. I hate myself for it. Who knows how many relationships it has cost me? I feel lower then whale poop. I know i have no self esteem and a very low level of social skills. This is a terrible life. I want to escape it but i don't know how to,

Please. if anyone has some hints, please pass them on

anon66774
Post 169

I'm only 14 years old, but I've been lying about pointless things for attention and pity ever since I was 9.

I lie about the smallest things and the biggest things, especially online. I've even lied about having leukemia, and I hate the paranoia and the guilt. I've used other people's pictures to represent me, I've lied about what instruments I can play, and I even have a whole cast of made up people in my head that I used to play on different IM accounts to make myself seem "cooler," and now I thoroughly regret it and wish I could go back.

I've spent the last few days researching about pathological and compulsive lying, and I think I'm both. Whenever it'll get me attention or sympathy, I will randomly think of a ridiculous story that glorifies me as good and kind and blow it up into something huge later for attention. I do have extremely low self-esteem, but I can't fix it.

I hate this lying and I really want a fresh start, or another chance before this lying follows me into my adult years because it's driving me insane. I didn't know a lot of other people had this problem too. Best of luck to everyone else with this awful situation.

anon66697
Post 168

Wow, this all sounds way too familiar. I know that I do this, but have only admitted it to myself. I have lied to the extreme. I have completely made people up, made up things that happened to me that did not.

I want to stop. I am willing to stop. But the question is, do I first have to admit to the people I love all the lies I have told? I will lose everything I have if I do this. Where do I go from here now that I know I have a problem?

If I seek therapy will I get "locked up?" --s27

anon66435
Post 167

I just turned 25 and all i know is that I've been lying since elementary school. I don't know why i lie so damn much; it's not like it makes me happy and its just easier then telling the truth and it stinks.

I grew up in a conservative home and my mother did not allow me to have friends over. My only real social interactions with people during school and playing sports. I never really had any till i was 20 and then i lost one of my best friends because of me lying all the time.

It's funny people say they lie cause it makes them feel good. I do it because i don't care. I have been lying to my work about me going to school and my family.

I don't know how to communicate with people and my life does stink. God, is there any way to stop and be more assertive? I have always thought lying was a good way to get people's attention because my family never really paid any attention to me. I'm pathetic!

anon65026
Post 166

I sit here staring at the screen, numb in the fact that once again I have hurt my wife with my stupid pathetic lying. my problem, though not severe, is destroying me. My underlying issues are rotting me away inside. I am a shadow of who I was and am someone I despise.

Guilt eats me up and when it subsides, away I go again. I want it to stop, I need it to stop before it's too late. I am risking everything for fleeting moments of pleasure.

I can't take it much more. I haven't much religion left in me but I wish you all a prayer to help you find a way and hope that I can too but sometimes it is so hard.

I thought that expressing this here would be a step in the right direction. Sadly I'm not feeling any revelations. Dear God, make me stop before i make me stop.

anon64201
Post 165

I am 18 and have recently discovered i am a compulsive liar. Which i also found out from my bf is a form of antisocial disorder. I know that this means i find it hard to relate to people.

I don't always lie but when i do they become out of control. I once lied to my bf that my step dad had cut a last boyfriend's hand off because he had cut me. The truth of it is he never did cut me and he never lost his hand. It was just a bad relationship and i guess i wanted attention for going fruit.

I started lying to a serious scale when i was about 10 which is when my parents separated. It started off as small lies and as i have gotten older they just get worse.

I feel awful at night when i go to sleep and think about how many lies i have told that day. Horse is when i lie to my mum, who i know says she knows me so well but can not tell when I'm lying. I'm a very good liar; in fact my bf said in different circumstances i should have been an actress. See there is another lie!

It's like a second nature to me and I'm becoming desperate for help I don't want to destroy everything good i have in my life just because my mouth can't stop lying.

I recently discovered something called cognitive behavioral therapy which i think may help. I know both my parents were and are compulsive liars. I've come to accept my form of lying is a means of getting attention. Now all i want is to help myself. c

anon63517
Post 164

Wow! Maybe someone here can advise me. I'm an English guy and for two years have been dating an American girl. She wants us to marry and come live with me in England. She does have horrendous mood swings and I have wondered if she is bi-polar.

I have a vacation home in FL and she lives an hour from me. Our first date she invited me to a house she said was hers. I needed an internet key, which she got the papers for and noticed it was in another name. She said it was Kyla, a girl who rents a room off her and works nights. But over time she has slipped up.

I can never stay at hers because she says they have this no males staying over rule. She also spoke to a friend on the phone last year in my presence and I heard her say, "Oh living over Orlando now. No, just renting."

I asked her about it once and she got all defensive and angry, so I dropped it and thought I was wrong. Then the other night I finally met the girl Kyla briefly who is her roommate.

My girlfriend was adjusting a window and said to this girl "Oh, I'm just fixing your window."

Anyway, tonight I looked up the property on Orange County's Appraisers office and it says the owner is Kyla. So my suspicions were right.

Obviously this lie stemmed from day one when she may have thought I was a one-off date. And since then it must have been awkward for her to maintain it. She's had to hope I don't meet her renter and say anything, and she's also avoided me meeting her friends in all this time.

I need her to come clean to make our lives easier. Should I approach her by e-mail so as she has time to digest being rumbled, and just base it on her verbal slip-ups rather than say I've looked up the county property records, or do I have it out face to face with her, or do I just forget it?

It does make me question what other lies she's told me. She has asked me to help her with money at times. Any advice is totally appreciated.

anon63188
Post 163

I used to lie all the time in high school. I used to lie to my friends particularly my best friend that I had relationships/friendships with boys in the year above me at school. They were my older brother's friends, so anything I found out about them from him, like a party they had gone to, I would twist and tell my friend I had gone to the party with them.

The lies just got worse and worse and I even told her I had slept with one of them and got pregnant. Of course she started to question if I was telling the truth and one day she must have told someone about it and the rumour went around the whole school including to the guy I made up that I had slept with. After that we were never friends again. We had several arguments and she made a new group of friends who would all give me hurtful looks and ignore me.

I eventually got a new best friend and was always honest with her from the start. We had a wonderful friendship and I now realise it's because I was being myself and our friendship was not based on lies. I hated the rest of my days at school because of the way people (including my ex best friend) made me feel. It eventually made me drop out of school just to make a fresh start and get away from my lies.

I now have a job and a boyfriend and have learned to just accept myself as who I am. I have learned you have just got to be honest with people to have any kind of lasting, fulfilling relationship with them.

I have come to realise the reason I lied in high school to my friend was simply because I had low self esteem and wanted her to think I was cool and had an interesting life. I now bitterly regret lying to her as I know it destroyed our friendship and if I had just been honest we could still be friends. Lying is hard work anyway. You have got to always remember who you have told what and i found the whole thing stressful.

I have overcome my lying by realising all this and I hope you lot do too.

Now I no longer find my time consumed by making up my next lie and I can concentrate on goals such as learning to drive. I would urge any of you to do anything you possibly can to stop the pathological and compulsive lying as it will destroy all your relationships with the people you are lying to.

I really do regret the lies I told in high school but at 19 years old I am glad I have learned a lesson on how much lies can destroy lives.

Good luck all.

anon62041
Post 161

My 29 year old son is a compulsive liar who has torn my life apart as well as others. He recently admitted he lied for 10 years straight in his marriage whom is now divorcing him. He has caused everyone on both sides of the family to dislike him and not trust him at all but still does it.

Last night, he got his wacko girlfriend to stage that he had been in a near fatal car accident and med flighted to a hospital, that he had sustained such injuries it was doubtful he would survive the surgery, to say nothing of escaping paralysis, and would never walk again.

I had turned off my home phone so I slept through it all. This girl called his father and other family members and tore them up emotionally all night long over this utter lie from Hell!

He had put me through similar for ten years plus.

Oh, and get this: the girl is a psychotherapist in Chicago! I say, she is a psycho like him.

anon61736
Post 160

I am a huge pathological liar. And I honestly can't help it. It's really hard for me to tell the truth.

As I child, I was abused mentally and physically by my father from age five to about 15 when I finally then decided to drop him from my life when my parents divorced. I lived with my mom and currently am (only because I'm 17). I know I'm still young but I've been lying since I can remember. Of course, when I was little, they were little white lies like, oh my mom's a doctor, or oh, I'm rich and I live in a mansion, but as I got older the lies got worse and worse.

In ninth grade I lied about having an STD (I don't know why I did it, either). In tenth grade I lied about getting a girl pregnant, I even went as far as telling my best friends I can't hang out because I have to go to a sonogram with the girl, then I said it was twins.

After nine months everyone wondered where my children were, so I told everyone they were adopted after they were born.

Then in eleventh grade, I lied about the worst thing I could have ever lied about, that made me lose everyone I loved and cared about, my best friends. I lied about having cancer. I did all this research on the type of cancer I "had", I had fake chemotherapy treatments, I even went as far as shaving my head bald and then using a shower razor to shave the rest off to make me look as bald as possible, then I bought a head scarf and wore it all the time.

Turns out nobody believed me and that did me in. Everyone went against me and nobody wanted to have anything to do with me anymore. I honestly don't know what to do, it's just I don't get any attention from anyone, never did.

Sure from infancy to age five I did, considering I lived with my grandparents (my mom had me at 18 so we lived with them until she got married to my father when I was five.) From there on in after they got married and we all lived together things were good for a while, until my sister was born, then all the attention was on her, understandable because she was a baby, but it's been like that for the last 11 years she's been alive. All on her and my other sister (who's 7).

I'm just there with my family. I just hate everyone and everything. I just feel like dying. I feel like lying is the only thing I know. It makes me feel better, when people pity me or envy me (depending on what kind of lie I tell.)

I hope I can get help. This needs to end, before I lose anyone else, the last few friends I have.

anon60643
Post 156

I am such a compulsive liar. I can't remember when I started lying, but when I was 14, I started lying about my age and everytime I was in a relationship, I made up bizarre stories to break up with that person such as....I'm moving out of state.

I even lied about getting married. For what reason? None. I just wanted to do it for fun. I even went as far as picking a location, and telling everyone.

When I was in high school, I lied about being pregnant and one night lied about having a miscarriage. I even called a gf of mine and cried over the phone, pretending. *These* were just the beginning.

As I got older, I lied more and more. Always cheated in my relationships, and even when confronted the truth, I lied.

I lie just to lie. Making myself sound better. I lied about doing good in a college placement test, I lied about how much I spent on a shopping spree....

When I get caught lying, I cover it up with more lies. For example, I got caught cheating and when confronted why, I'd say something like...I did it because I was lonely and depressed. I'd lie to have people have pity on me.

To this day, everybody around me believe that my ex boyfriend left me because he's cheated on me and had 2 kids by another woman the whole time we were together. Truth is, that didn't even happen. I just lied so people would feel sorry for me.

I'd make up ridiculous stories, just so it would sound like I'm having such an interesting day.

I'd lie soooo much that I believe in my own lies, and sometimes, I can't even tell if I'm telling the truth or not. It comes out naturally.

I lie to my own family, even something as little as what I'd eat.

I really need help and am desperate to find help. I thought I was the only one with this problem this whole entire time.

My lies are taking over my life and it has to stop *now.*

anoncanadian
Post 155

I have a sister-in-law who has recently joined our family. As we have gotten to know her, we have realized she could be a pathological liar. She is always trying to one-up me. She had to get "accidentally" pregnant as soon as she knew I was expecting.

She says she used to be over 300 pounds just to make herself look good now, but we know she was never that heavy. She is constantly trying to say that her baby is doing miraculous things, such as crawling everywhere and nearly walking at four months. We've seen the baby and know it wasn't even rolling over yet. She pushes her baby so hard to walk before ours, that the baby is developing bad bow legs.

She just told us today, that her baby who is barely nine months old, is saying "I love you", book, want up, daddy, mommy, and a couple other small sentences. We know she isn't talking yet, but she lies anyway.

She tried to tell us that her baby was injured during child birth and that now she dislocates her shoulders to purposely make her drop the baby. I was in the room after the baby was born and the doctor said none of her bones were broken during child birth. She makes up outrageous stories about labor. She says that when she was pushing, and after the baby's head was out, the doctor decided that he would do one of three things. Push the baby back in but either mother or child would die, do an emergency c-section, or just use the forceps. We know this isn't true, but my delivery of my child was a forceps delivery so she had to have one too.

We think she purposely made the doctor "give her help" with the forceps, just to be like me. Is this pathological lying, or just some kind of "fatal attraction" type thing?

We want to help her so bad, but don't even know where to start. She gets so defensive and either gets angry, cries, take the baby and leaves so we can't see them, or she simply denies ever saying what she said if she know she can't get out of it. Help!

anon60191
Post 154

I too, am a pathological liar. I have destroyed my family and my marriage. My wife is going to be leaving me over all my lies. As far as I can remember I have lied about almost everything in my life (85 percent).

I don't know what to do anymore. I thought about taking my life last night to get away from all this and give everyone peace so they won't have to deal with me and my pathological lies. I don't know what to do anymore. Someone please help me.

anon59360
Post 153

I have actually considered suicide, I've made such a mess out of my life with pathological lying. I didn't know there were people who were in the same boat. Does anyone know where to get help?

anon59183
Post 152

I am the biggest liar that i know on this earth! I need help. I lie to everyone about everything. I once lied and said my brother got shot and did not work for two weeks.

I have cheated over 50 times on my wife and lied about everything. She just found out about a girl and we are now separated. She is much smarter than my lies and always catches me but i still continue to do so. Why? I have no idea. I need help. Where do i start?

anon58025
Post 151

I do not lie all the time. This has just started with me. When I started high school I started feeling like everyone wanted to ignore me and no one wanted to talk to me. I felt left out, ignored.

Then I thought that making up a tragedy that happened in my life would make them want to talk to me more. At first I just lied to one of my friends, telling her that my parents have been fighting a lot and may be getting divorced. I told her the divorce was because my mom was cheating on my dad. I told her I hated my mom and she's the worst person ever, but really I love my mom and nothing's wrong.

Then she started ignoring me again, so a couple weeks later I told her that I was diagnosed with both breast cancer and cancer in my leg. After I told her about the cancer, I realized I need to stop lying. So I told her my parents were better and now they're not getting divorced. But I didn't know how to get rid of the cancer lie because I told her I went to the hospital and had radiation. So then I told her after the radiation the cancer was gone.

She still kept bringing up the cancer, so I lied more, telling her the docs made a mistake and gave me the wrong radiation results and that I never had cancer in the first place.

These two huge lies are making me stressed and nervous all the time. My parents, especially my mom who I am really close to, don't know about this.

I'm afraid my friend is going to end up talking to my mom or my family members about it or something or tell someone about it. I don't want the lie going any further and it needs to end. Someone please help me. I need advice. I'm also worried that after I end the lie, I'll start another one to get more attention.

I also don't want to get help because if my parents find out they will get very mad. I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me.

anon56324
Post 150

I am a 29 year old woman, and have a problem telling the truth. I often lie to my best friend and lover about things. Just last night he looked me in the eyes and said that he knew something was bothering me. I looked right back at him and said that I was fine.

Truth is I'm not. I am very sad and feel unappreciated I manage to do everything to maintain our relationship, (or so I think I do) and I'm not even sure this is what I want.

I am so afraid to be alone I would lie to keep him there beside me. He kept pushing me last night, telling me that he knew something was wrong, so I told him that I had a tooth ache, which I lied to him about because I wanted him to comfort me. Truth is I'm not sure where I stand in this relationship and so badly want to be loved by him that I always make up simple things to get sympathy from him.

I know this is not what love should be about. I want help and don't want to be stuck in this ongoing situation that is only hurting us both.

I do anything he asks and realized earlier in our relationship that I was with an abusive situation. I confronted him and asked him to get help and he has but the patterns formed out of the start of our relationship I have maintained I use to lie to protect myself in some ways. I still hold his old reactions in my mind. I'm not sure what to change or how to change it. I just want to stop.

anon55611
Post 149

I am 18 years old. I told my first lie when I was 4. It was about a red wagon and I remember it vividly because I knew it was a lie to get me out of trouble. I got away with it. I told many more lies and began to steal things and lie and say I found them. The first time I got caught was when I was 9, just before my parents separated. This is significant because I got better at lying believably right before my lying go worse. My parents separated, and my father moved in with his girlfriend. I lied to my mom about it for over a year, including any time I spent time with the woman. My dad didn't ask me to lie for him, but I did it anyways and it was just to see if I could get away with it. I also lied to my dad while lying to mom. I was manipulative and heartless--and I was only 10.

In middle school, I lied about being in the witness protection program, having a brother who committed suicide, being from Australia, being molested, seeing someone molested, doing cocaine, having explicit sex, seeing UFOs, traveling to places I had never been, being schizophrenic, and probably others I have forgotten. These were just my big lies. I would lie about silly things daily, such as walking the dog when I didn't and doing homework when I didn't have any.

Some of the lies were to fit in, some were to teach lessons, and some were simply to see if people would believe me. When I got caught, I would cry dramatically, deny relentlessly the accusations, and refuse to admit my guilt even when I knew I was caught. The worst part: I never felt sorry. I faked sorry, but I never felt sorry until I was 16.

At this age, I realized that I couldn't stop lying. It was my natural reaction. My mom would call and ask how the weather was and I would say not bad though it was storming outside -- just to satisfy my craving. I had exposed my big lies and they were gone, but I still needed to lie about little things.

I first became aware of pathological lying when I saw a movie with Robin Williams. I think it was “Night Listener” or something like that. Anyway, I looked it up and suddenly my life made sense. However, it wasn't better. To me, it wasn't an answer, it was an excuse, and I knew my family would take it the same way. I mean, how can a liar admit to her family she may have a disease that sounds made-up and is not recognized as a psychological disorder?

I'm slightly better now, but I'm not acceptable. Though I have better control, I still lie irrationally and it's ruining my relationships and eating me with guilt. Self-control hasn't completely "healed" me and it's not a affliction loved ones can sympathize. I need more help, but I'm afraid that there is no more than what I can muster.

I wish the best for those affected by this condition. Hopefully, there will be real answers soon.

anon55590
Post 148

I used to be a pathological liar. I just wasn't happy about myself and my low self esteem caused me to lie to everyone and myself so I wouldn't face rejection from others. I just wanted to be loved and accepted and so I lied to make myself look good. My inside was broken and sad and I was hiding it and changed my personality to be pleasing to others so they would notice me and like me.

Then I realized that I created a world that didn't exist and wasn't me. I decided that I was going to confront all my sadness and brokenness and confess it all even when I didn't like it. once I faced myself. I realized I hated myself because others and the world I lived in hurt me and brutalized me. I needed a psychologist to really open up and face me. I told the psychologist that I didn't trust people so I would try to be as honest as I can and even now, some things that are really secret, I haven't shared with my psychologist. I am waiting and watching him just to see how he reacts and helps me with just what I have already revealed.

My problem is trusting people. The only person who hasn't hurt me and doesn't desire to hurt me is God. I confess out loud to God only what I am and do and the perception of myself and what happened in my life for me to be that way. I pray and ask God to help me get out the pithole I have thrown myself into. My identity of myself was broken and I don't know who I really am and what I am here for on earth and what I am really like.

But the first step was to not make up stories to people but tell the truth even when it hurt to tell the truth. If I didn't want to tell the truth, I just shut my mouth and stared until I spoke the truth. I yelled the truth to myself everyday and stopped my brain from daydreaming a new picture of myself to hide the real me.

I decided I was going to help the person I really am to heal from the past and stop all acting around I created up. I decided that I wasn't bad but created myself to be bad from so much lying. If I didn't care enough to help myself to become healed and begin to respect myself and love myself, I wasn't going to heal and I was going to keep lying to hide and get what I wanted, which is selfish and hurtful to innocent people when they didn't do anything to me.

I had to face me and tell myself that I was going to heal and face reality and come out and have a real life, not this lie I had concocted. It had taken almost 10 years but I decided not to lie anymore to anyone.

The truth is I do lie to keep others away from me. That is my problem because I am insecure about trusting those people if I notice they don't care for me. I now cut them off instead of lying to them and keeping them around. Then I face myself and really analyze why I lie, then when I realize why I did it, I confront myself and those people about the truth in me and cut them off if I feel they are untrustworthy. It’s hard not to lie. Everybody does it now and then. even white lies. It’s an everyday process. If I can’t think of anything, I pray for myself to find a solution other than lying. and every time I do find a solution and thank God. He has helped me get out of this sick reality of pathological lying.

I decided it wasn't going to control me any more like a slave. I am not anyone's slave and never will be. I want my freedom badly enough to seek help. but it started with me facing myself and the true reality of who I thought I was. others lied to me of who I was and I believed it. now I changed all that and took control of my thoughts and became the real good person I was really made to be. I needed to face myself first and face all of my pain I was running from. Then, when I began to heal with the help of my doctors and psychologist, I began to come out and become stronger within myself. I had to begin to love myself first and make that change to bring myself out. So far, it has been tough. I had to go through a lot of suffering but I did it and now I feel so much better about myself. Others don't create my identity anymore. I do, and have a good identity of myself. Thank God in heaven. There are angels on earth.

anon54712
Post 147

I have lied for a very long time. I am 17 years old, and for around seven to eight years, all I have done is lie.

I have made up people to seem cooler, I have pretended to do drugs to seem cooler, then I actually got hooked on them for a while. I lied to my parents, to my friends, to myself. I built myself a world, where people could pity me, give me attention. Where I could be the best.

But someone did not fit in that world, and when I figured that out, I just knew, it had to stop.

Now, now the lies have caught up with me. I have lied about having leukemia to my boyfriend, the one person I love. I have lied to him about a train accident and how someone has died, and when he talked about seeing bodies on a train track going to Montreal, I squeezed his hand.

I faked emotion to feel cared about. I have lied to him about a boy that had sexual relations with me and then left me, and I faked my emotion there also. I lied to him about going to a mental hospital. I lied to him about a lot of things I cannot even remember. And now I'm losing him if I don't clean myself up.

I need to cut the crap, and just tell the truth. It is not as easy as it sounds. I might think it is, but I know it will be more difficult than just telling the truth.

I need help. I need psychological help. I want to fix my relationship with my boyfriend. I want to be worth his time. I am a pathological liar.

anon54204
Post 146

Well quite a few posts up here and i realized i might have the disease.

i find myself consistently lying to friends and my girlfriend's family. i mean, i stop money from a family business to support a drug habit.

i live out a very godly image of myself, and i believe myself to be almost perfect and when I'm around people i don't feel good enough and I'm competing for popularity.

It's hard when your first instinct to lie. And it's stupid. i lie about stupid stuff --absolutely pointless.

hopefully we can figure this treatment quickly. We'll need it.

anon54104
Post 145

I have come to realize that I was spared from a relationship with a pathological liar. When I met my ex-boyfriend he admitted that he had less than five friends/acquaintances claiming that he had cut off everyone else after they colluded with a cheating ex-girlfriend.

It didn't occur to me then that it may have been his actions that had actually ostracized his friends.

He impressed me by promising assistance to friends, romantic words about honesty and faithfulness, kissing his mother and random babies. His gestures seemed so sweet and sincere then and so ridiculous now.

His lies were hard to detect – very calculated and usually consistent. I later discovered that while away on business he had married a woman that he had picked up in a bar. I found out three months after they had met/married. When I confronted him he said some very mean and untrue things to me very loudly to make sure that his new wife (who didn't know that I existed) would hear.

His wife suspected his lies and asked to meet me. I can't get into what he had told her about me but I was horrified! I couldn't address all of the lies he had told her – it was very hurtful to hear how he had characterized our relationship.

When we finished our chat I gave her a hug and said "I hope you find happiness". Even as I left, she was already convincing herself that this was all some misunderstanding and that her new husband hadn't been cheating on me with her.

As much as my heart was broken I feel blessed to be the one who walked away from this guy. After reading some of these stories about the incredible damage lying causes one’s partner, children and friends, I must conclude that having him out of my life is all for the best.

Only he can address this problem for himself.

anon52952
Post 143

My girlfriend lied to me and all her close friends about having acute leukemia.

She lied to me personally about a lot more things :(.

I just hope that she'll know that honesty is something she's going to have to work hard at and fight for, minute by minute, day by day, word by word, as said by previous posters.

I know she has the will to do it, but even that I can't trust anymore.

It'll be you, and only you. When you are honest with yourself, you'll start being honest with others. And you'll discover truth in the world, regardless of its nature.

It's worth more than anything, because truth is the discovery of what's around us. Only then, you will have an identity.

anon52499
Post 142

Wow I truly had no idea that other people could feel exactly the same as me!

I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years now and he has lied to me about anything and everything. Cheating stealing gambling and money. I always have debt collectors not only calling me but also my family.

I feel so trapped. I am in love with this person who seems to be sabotaging our relationship through his constant lying.

One day I went into our condo parking lot and his car was being repoed. Another time i found out he had numerous lines from places like Money Mart and Instaloans. He has stolen my credit card and charged hundreds of dollars without my knowledge.

I just don't know what to do. We fight all the time and 95 percent of the fights come from his lies. I am so frustrated and exhausted. I'm wondering if there is any kind of professional help for this? If anyone knows please post! Thank you

anon51887
Post 141

My last ex girlfriend was one as well. she would lie just to impress people, but it also looked impulsive. Part of it probably had to do with the fact she like to hear herself talk. she lied about her father working in the porn industry, she lied about someone shooting up at work, she's lied about even being in college. She's lied about having her own place and roommates. let's see, what else? she's lied about being in college the other day. her friends and her uncle straight up told me. she wants me back but i just can't date someone i can't trust. it's sad, really.

anon51655
Post 140

My partner of six years has consistently lied about medical ailments he 'allegedly' has suffered from, even to the extent of claiming he has liver cancer. He actually fabricated a "wound" from oil paint, and said it was from an exploratory operation. He is still very much alive and well, even though he says he is still considering which treatment to undertake!

Past ailments include asbestosis, a knee operation, having his arteries cleaned out, and various other imagined maladies. When challenged about the cancer, he is adamant he has it! He had a very successful business, which he has sold, and is now retired. He is undoubtedly a pathological liar, but will not accept it.

anon51233
Post 138

im 21 and i have been lying all my life since i was probably six or so. i would lie about all these small things. then as i got older i would start lying about bigger things such as my family was rich and that i lived with my family even though i live in a group home and in foster homes. i try to stop myself and try to not lie but it just comes out. i had a rough childhood and i wonder if that has to have something to do with this. i have always lied to try to impress others. i was reading the things above and i have all those signs. i don't like talking to people unless i have to. i come off as super shy and i can't keep myself on school work and stuff like that. i daydream too much. i ended up dropping out of high school two months before i graduated and now i'm trying to get my ged so i can get in school but i can't stay focused at all. i need some help major bad. please someone help me. i don't want to ruin my son's life or the love of my life life, please.

bae05

anon51169
Post 137

My name is nathan, and i too am a pathological liar. i lie about every little stupid thing. For example, last night my girlfriend asked me if i had set the alarm and out of impulse i said yes, and than began to set the alarm right after she had asked me. i want help! i have done this all my life, and just need help! please

anon51133
Post 136

I am married to a man for seven years now that lies about everything. I have caught him cheating, gambling, stealing, even telling me he is working to go out with friends. He always lies about money, he has gotten cell phones and has kept it from me. I have debt collectors calling me about credit card bills that I have no idea about. He works extra jobs and does not tell me so that he can keep the money. It has gotten so bad to the point were he does not even think he is wrong anymore. He just tells me I am crazy which for a while I was thinking that I was. I have three little girls with him and I don't want them to think that this type of behavior is acceptable. I can't live like this anymore. I feel trapped by all his lies.

anon50902
Post 135

I'm married to someone who lies. He's lied to me for 17 years. When I turned 32, about 12 years into the marriage. I fell apart from all of it and had a nervous breakdown. The lies made me feel like I was the crazy one. It drove me to drink. I drank for three straight years. In the third year I almost died from it. In 2007 I ended up in Intensive Care. I turned my life around in AA and I'm healthy and sober. Unfortunately I'm still with my husband. But, I just now figured out that he was the problem all along. The lies almost killed me. I feel trapped in the marriage. But now I understand where he's coming from with all of the lying.

anon50735
Post 134

I too am a pathological liar.

Maybe it's a coping mechanism but it's getting way out of hand and I don't know where to turn too except blog about it anonymously.

When I was 13, in middle school I lied about my older sister dying. She was fine. I was just mad that she didn't come to my birthday party and was mean. What I did was heartless and I was a teenager.

When I was 19, I told my boyfriend and his family I got into Princeton, and I'm stupid.

All stupid lies!

When I was 24, I quit one of my nanny jobs because I called the mother up and told her I was in a car accident and I broke my leg, but would be in touch. Truth is, I had a better job offer. Wouldn't the truth have been easier than a lie?

When I was 25, I got in contact with my biological sister who is five years younger. I have always wanted someone to rescue me. I told her I have cancer and that I needed a blood transfusion. When I actually met her she took me to the hospital and the nurse called my docs up in Michigan and my docs said I was never diagnosed with cancer.

If I don't stop lying, I will be alone.

I need help. I don't want to lose my sister.

I don't want to lose any more jobs. I don't want karma to bite me hard either.I feel I lie to try to keep people in my life but this is an adverse reaction. Please someone help!

anon49313
Post 133

I am a pathological liar and it all started when I was young and would lie about ridiculous things to my friends. I convinced my friends I had babies when I was 11 or 12 years old and they believed me without even seeing them, how messed up is that? I have made up people and I have just lied about small things too. I do not find I lie as much as I used to. which is good, but I still find myself not telling the truth here and there sometimes, and the worst part is I have made up stories about other people that aren't at all true. I think what people need to understand though, is this is an illness. It may not need medication to be treated, but it is an illness. I do not think I am evil for it. I would take it all back if I could. I hate when I hear people talking bad about pathological liars but we can't always help it. I may be a liar sometimes but I am also one of the most compassionate people and I have really good friendships that aren't based on lies. I do care about people immensely and I don't wish to hurt their feelings at all. At first I thought this was just a cry for attention but now I am honestly unsure of the cause. I think all we need is a little reassurance and help sometimes.

anon48258
Post 132

I am a 47 year old male, pathological/compulsive (still not sure which is the correct term for me) liar. I have lied as long as I can remember, and just like all of the fellow liars on this site, I have lied about most everything great and small about my personal life. I find it odd that I do not hesitate to be truthful in business/bottom line matters - but about myself I have never been able to truthfully talk about myself, my family, background, achievements, social life, etc without complete and total fiction - regardless of social or business setting. I have always tried to hide from my life's truth rather than accept it. I have hurt so many people with my lies. In spite of all of my lies, I am thankful I understand how amazing my friends and family are for not having abandoned me after each of the multiple occasions they have discovered all of my falsehoods. Furthermore I also have come to realize over the years that I do not seem to allow others to impress me. I believe for some reason, I am in a constant struggle to impress or out-do others, and almost seem not to care if others impress me or not. I believe that I have had at least some breakthrough only just this year by realizing and accepting that I lie when I feel I have to impress, or that I am being scrutinized by others. Thanks to a very dear friend who is now researching "metacognitive awareness" for suicide mitigation, I learned (and I know I am butchering the explanation) that suicidal behavior and other behaviors can be "triggered" by certain events that lead the person to anxious or self-loathing thoughts (Please look this up for the correct explanation!). Basically in my case (and I presume in those of most other pathological/compulsive liars), I believe my primary "trigger" is any situation in which I perceive I am being scrutinized or judged by others. I start to feel like I am not interesting, inferior, or not on the same level as the speaker. My reaction is to lie in order to "defend" myself, and the "tactic" is to overwhelm the listener with tales of my "fabulous," "amazing," "brilliant," "extraordinary" life/education/accomplishments/job/intelligence/wit/family lineage, etc. When I do this I am not thinking at all about any consequences. Additionally I am denying the speaker any chance of impressing me. Now when I find myself in these situations, and feel the urge to blurt out a lie, I try to take a breath, and "just listen," or "allow myself to be the one who is impressed." Admittedly I have not practiced this (awareness) each time I perceive I am being approved/disapproved. I still slip up 90-plus percent of the time - but for once I feel like I understand myself. I will go as far as to say I feel a little bit more in control. While I may not truly love myself, I can say I no longer hate myself. I really believe and pray I can improve - although based on all of the posts and other on-line research I doubt I can completely stop my behavior. Even if I cannot be 100 percent cured, I believe I can at least start trying for 20 percent. Anything is better than 0 percent truth. Lastly, my friend correctly pointed out that I never seem comfortable receiving compliments. Do any other liars on this site feel uncomfortable or unworthy when anyone pays them a complement?

anon47794
Post 131

I have lied all my life. I never really thought about it, just lied to make myself seem more interesting, or get ahead in life. Last night and this morning, I had to face it head on. My fiance has called me out on both big and little lies and although I'd tell her I wouldn't do it anymore, it's like reflex. This morning, I finally took a hard look at what I am doing to myself and everyone around me. My fiance sent me a link and some other information that sounded like a mirror image of me. It was all about pathological liars. I've never dealt with this before, not even in therapy, and it seems so scary to take this situation on. As a pathological liar, I can tell you this: The truth scares me a lot. I find myself lying even when I know telling the truth would be *better*. I even start to believe the lies I tell as if they were really true. I know i am hurting myself and especially my fiance. I want help, and I want to be better. I write this as a step in the right direction. I admit that I lie a lot. Mostly about small things, but they are still lies. In reading these stories, I see a lot of people talking about others who lie, but not many from the liars themselves. I'm not going to say I have a disease, or blame it on anything. I have a problem that I have created in my life and that I have to deal with head on. This sucks, but I would rather go through this then not have my fiance. She is the support that keeps me going.

anon46917
Post 130

My relationship is in tatters because of my need to lie to my partner of two years. Our relationship has gone from strong to non- existent in a matter of days and I wonder if this may have occurred earlier had I not lied to her previously. Recently, I lied about something as small as booking a car online. When she suspected that I had lied I created a fictitious email instead of just telling her the truth. Now, to compound the white lie, I have premiditatively created a new one which is much worse. That wasn't what put the relationship in jeopardy though -- it was another little white lie which got found out after I had told it directly to her face. this is about something too embarrassing to share - even anonymously. She won't believe anything I tell her now. She suspects me of cheating in our relationship and I have moved rooms. I want to fix it but can't even trust myself. the scary thing is owning up to the events as opposed to casting these lies would no doubt have ended the matter there and then. I'd still have my relationship at least. I don't know where we are now or if she'll ever trust me. I think now that she's better without me but then I think is that just me wanting an easy out and lying to myself. We were close to being engaged - couldn't be further from it now.

anon46844
Post 129

My husband of 8 years' ex-wife is a pathological liar. She makes things up to get her way, manipulate, or make people pity her. She is always stuck in traffic or some accident makes her late. Her boyfriends all abuse her. I know it is the other way around. She makes up things to get her boyfriend or me or my husband or counselers, or the courts to do things for her. She makes up horrible things about my husband. It has a really negative affect on their kid that they have together. We have custody of him.

anon46558
Post 128

I have an adult (30 years old) son who has lied about petty to important things all his life. The lies created a total separation from his family for over 18 mos., a few years back and I resorted to hiring a PI to locate him. When I contacted my son, tears (his and mine) flowed and he promised he would never lie again. Yet another lie. I had always told him that no matter how bad a situation was, tell me the truth. This past February, in the middle of his, yet again, legal/financial problems, while I was helping him, yet again, he told me another large lie. I had warned him before not to lie to me about anything again (he really is not that good at it), but he did and I told him to leave. I have not heard from him since. I don't know where he is, if he is healthy, happy or even alive. The pain that the lying has created in all of us has been reflected in all these entries listed above. It is a deep and gnawing pain that is not relieved except by prayer (and then, maybe only minimally). My son has a new nephew that he has never met, he has an 80 year old grandmother with Alzheimers, who is not getting any younger or stronger. He is missing a life with those of us who love and care about him. All because of lies. I don't have an answer except to live the serenity prayer, stop trying to figure out what, as a parent, you did wrong (probably *nothing*) and love those who you can.

anon45914
Post 127

My 52 year old sister is a pathological and compulsive liar. Our family has reached their limit with her behavior. She has had four marriages, ending because of her lying and cheating. Three of her four children haven't spoken to her in years because of this. Now, the final straw was her meeting some guy online and flying halfway across the country to meet him. He only paid for a one-way ticket, and when I questioned her she didn't even know the town he was driving her to! Long story short, I added up a bunch of things and naturally, they *didn't* add up. We have arranged to get her away from this guy and I will be seeing her this week. At that time, I am just going to confront her about her lying for all of these years. I will remind her that her behavior has affected and/or destroyed many other lives and her lifelines are running out. She has burned many bridges, especially in the past two or three years. What do you think - I want to tell her that unless she goes into therapy when she gets home, I will not have any additional contact with her. Kind of like an intervention, yet I don't want to make her go crazy completely and hurt herself in some way. She has never mentioned suicide or anything like that. Her life is far too complicated and I think she likes creating these wild stories about her life. She has been caught many times, but just avoids the people once they are wise to her. Thanks for letting me vent. I wish I could get her committed to a mental health facility, but since she is not a threat to herself or others that's not possible. God hasn't answered our family's prayers on this one - He must have a different plan for her

anon45715
Post 126

My husband's ex-wife is a pathological liar or at least she seems to be. I am the new wife and have been dealing with her lies for years now. She lied to her own kids many, many times. The worst ones were that she was in a car accident and her car was totalled (it got repossessed due to her non-payment and sold at auction) and that she had cancer (she did not, but she obviously has some mental illness certainly). She makes promises to her children that she doesn't keep. The children live with us now on a full-time basis because we had to make it that way for the sake of their health because she is irresponsible/unstable. She lost her permanent address and her car within one month a couple of years ago (we found out later that she had a gambling problem) and didn't understand why the joint custody arrangement she had with her ex couldn't continue. She couldn't (or wouldn't) listen to my husband and understand that children shouldn't have to "couch-surf" at her various friend's houses when they were starting to go back to school and she was "homeless" for five whole months. My husband ended up having to spend tons of money on a family law lawyer because of this and I had to record every single incident that this woman threw our way. Needless to say, this was all extremely stressful on the both of us. At the very same time this all happened, I was pregnant with my first child and trying to adjust to my new motherhood and deal with all of her toxic lies and the various things that happened because of them. The children still visit her every other weekend and usually come back with some story their mother told them that never rings true. I, as their stepmother (and the only normal/non-liar mother figure in their life) am concerned about how my husband and I should deal with his ex-wife and her lying. Her lying has totally stressed me out and I feel so sad for the children too. I was thinking I should confront her on her lying and refer her to some counselling, for the sake of her children. I don't like this woman *at all.* (I frankly wish she would just fall off the planet at this stage), however, I do *love* her children enough to know that if she never gets well, her children will be affected by this their whole lives too. I am deeply concerned about this. Please offer any advice you can to me. It would be quite appreciated. Thanks for the venting!

anon45168
Post 125

There is so much to respond to after reading all this! I wish I could communicate with some of you more directly, but apparently when I registered on this site something went wrong, and I can no longer give out my e address. Be that as it may, there are a few things I know about lying. I grew up lying because my parents lied to me, for reasons that they felt would protect me from harsh truths about our family's background. They lied so often, though, that I was totally confused. One day red would be black, another it would be white, sometimes it would be black. By the time I was 8, I lied about everything and anything. If someone asked me if I were going north, I would say I was going south, and it didn't really mean anything to the person who asked: he or she wouldn't like me better either way; I was just deeply invested in lying as a way of life. If my parents did it, it was something that should be done. To those of you who are asking for help - help exits! Truly, it does. To those of you who write about lying about being raped, or "exaggerating" bad things that have happened to you, I would submit that a harsh emotional upbringing is the equivalent of rape, and saying that it was a rape conveys the emotional truth which you think might not be believed if you didn't say it in such strong words. I think lies of a certain kind describe what's going on internally even though they are not so to the outside world. This in no way means it is all right to lie; it's just intended to help explain some lies. Likewise, there are people who lie to be noticed since they don't have the self esteem to believe anyone would be interested in them if they didn't tell these lies. One of you wrote, "How can I be truthful if the truth is so horrible?" If the truth is so horrible as that, you need professional help and some supportive friends to face the real truth. Just know you are not alone, you are not evil, you didn't cause the horribleness by yourself. Some A.A. groups allow people with other problems become members, and I have seen this work for people with depression, compulsions, and bipolar disorders. The lies about "little things" can destroy yours and other's lives just as much as the whoppers. Sooner or later, people will know you can't be trusted to tell the truth. I believe one of the reasons people lie is that they believe there is something wrong with the truth. If they lie about themselves, it means they believe there is something wrong with themselves. Instead of lying, it would be more appropriate to right the wrongness, but they can't do that without help. Some of the suggestions I have read in what has been written here are good: giving yourself a few seconds to think before responding to a question, and giving yourself 30 seconds to correct what you have said. Letting yourself recognize that you do not have to respond to a question, and knowing you have a right not to make explanations are also helpful strategies. There will be exceptions, of course. When a person lies, it's very common that the lies themselves lead to more lies. In order to support the lie, one has to lie about all things related to the lie. Personally, I just don't have a good enough memory to tell lies. I don't think many folks do. For those of you in relationships with adults whose lies are making your life hellish - one word: leave! Even if that makes you a single parent, even if that means not having your adult child in your life, it is better than being eaten alive by distrust, anxiety, and a continual sense of loss. Grieve the real loss, and don't let it be reactivated every day by the liar's actions or words. It may not seem to hang together that I can say that there is help for the liar, and that he/she is not an evil person, yet advise those whose lives are being torn apart by other's lies to leave. To you I would say that there are contradictions in life that aren't due to someone's lies. Each of us has to straighten out his/her own life before we can help another to do the same. Whether you are wretched because you lie, or devastated because someone in your life lies, the same answer applies. Get help. There are books, there are groups, there are professionals, and, G-d willing, there are friends. I started to get straightened out in my early twenties, still had occasional relapses into my mid-thirties, and was done with lies altogether 25 years ago; I'm sixty one now.

anon44498
Post 124

My uncle seems to be a pathological liar. He loses many valuable jobs just because of his dishonesty. He can lie and say "i am not going to be present at work maybe say for the next three days", then he will be absent from work just to go and enjoy drinking alcohol with friends. One day he lied to his boss and said his mother died and he was going to atttend a funeral. On the following days he mentioned her when he lies again wanting to do other arrangements. Those arrangements again, are done in the form of lies. How can he be helped because his lies are only taking him down and preventing him from being successful in life?

anon43774
Post 123

I have been with my boyfriend physically for a year now. Our story is one of many complications. We live on opposite ends of the country. He would go back and forth to visit me, total sweetheart-- amazing on the outside, but rotting from within.

I am a very honest human being and will never understand why my boyfriend lied to me most every single time I asked him a question. If a shirt was brown, he'd say it's black. I am now *broken*. Have you ever sat and observed a toy doll? Their eyes are glittery, yet have no emotion. Their bodies are lifeless, and their mouthes slightly open, as if they have something to say, but can't, for in reality, there is nothing more to say. I have died. My soul has been sucked out by a man who called himself my one true love.

And though I will miss him for the rest of my entire life, I chose to remain stagnant and lifeless in the present, rather than witness him suffer his days lying incessantly to me, the angel that hopefully led him to get *help* for his illness.

Good luck. I will always love you, too bad it couldn't work, though in my fantasy world, in FantasyLand, I will always be thinking about you. Get healthy.

anon43495
Post 122

I've read every post and it is all so sad. My ex-husband also is a pathological liar. Every bit of my story can be found in all the sad stories on this site. Although he has broken my heart, stolen my life savings and abandoned me when I had cancer, I do not hate him; he is in a lot of pain and I want to help him. But my family and friends think he doesn't deserve my love. How can anyone say that? Everyone deserves to be loved, especially when you have no one. He is in jail now, probably the best place for him. I hope he will be able to confront himself there.

xxxx
Post 120

If you want to quit lying you will have to use the old faithful: not lying. Make it your personal policy never to lie. If you are asked a question, you have the right to refuse to answer. You have the right to your own personal privacy, and your own ownerships. If you are lying, you should consider that maybe deep down you feel forced to answer. And to you, lying is like ripping off the information thief. As well, if you are finding honesty is looking like it'd show a better yield -- that is, you stand to gain if you are honest -- then your life is very, very heavenly-well set up, and you should confront the fear that its tenuous foundation will collapse if you use an honesty strategy. It may, though, if your basic striving is to find out if honesty is only a strategy. Wouldn't that be dishonest? Well, it's the one allowable dishonesty. Steering straight makes for good driving. That's a type of honesty. It's only a type of dishonesty if you are disallowing other types of steering in your definition. Honesty for honesty's sake is honesty for gain. In the Bible, Jesus (supposedly) says: "Anything you might profit from me". That means that if (it ain't the commandment breakers is automatically built in, I think) you go by the truth, and you profit, you can keep it. Such as "an honest living". Of course there are always issues to be addressed, and of course, hopefully it rains on your food seeds anyways, but if you pull the weeds so you can eat your vegetables, your living is an honest one. Sure a few bugs are out some weeds, but there's other bugs (or maybe the same ones) willing to live in the weed pile you made because you wanted to eat the vegetables, not just watch them choke out and not be there. Most of life is like this, especially life for living. You don't have to have the big mystery key answer -- try to have a sense of humour about being a liar, too. Maybe you can use some of that creative energy to write stories or comedy. I know I could sure use a laugh. As well, you will find knowledge unfolds for you, because the difference between not only your own self lying but lying and untruth in general, becomes stark, against truth. You will find you can figure out all kinds of interesting facts and knowledge, which may impress your mate or get you a raise. Good luck quitting, too.

xxxx
Post 118

My son is 16 and lies about everything. I feel your pain. He also takes things that are seemingly small, like food or loose change and just lies about it. Yet, we find empty food containers under his mattress or empty pizza boxes under a couch. Recently, I had to work out of town for a month and my husband (my son's stepfather) could not cope with his lying anymore. I had my son stay with his biological father for the duration of my being out of town. I am home now and my son refused to come back home. I have recently found out that he has stolen his father's car in the middle of the night, not once but twice. My son does not have his driver's license or temps because I could not trust him with a car. Gee, if I can't trust him to not eat food he is not supposed to eat, how can I trust him with a vehicle? He has no regard for the law. We also lock our bedroom door but he has figured out how to break in using his YMCA card. He writes letters to his girlfriend telling he that he has recently lost aunts and uncles (and one that shot himself) just in hopes that she will give in to his wanting to have sex. No one has recently died in our family. He too is having a difficult time in school. My husband and I are at our wits' end. I really do not want to let him back into our home when the rest of us (4 other children)can finally take a breath. Do I have him hospitalized or simply go to counseling?

Any comments are appreciated.

xxxx
Post 117

Lately I have come to realize that my mother might be a pathological liar. She doesn't lie to keep things hidden from everyone or anything, it's just that, somehow she feels the need to lie about petty little things in everyday life, possibly to gain attention, or sympathy. She would feel the need to exaggerate a petty little matter, or even just a statement that someone has made, that would otherwise go unnoticed had she not lied about a part of it.

For example, the other day she said about me to someone else, "Oh she doesn't want to go to that restaurant because she thinks it's dirty there." But I had never even said that it's dirty there. All I said was that I didn't want to go, that was it. And it surprised me that she would say what is obviously a lie right in front of me too, as if I wouldn't say anything about it in my defense. Again, this is a petty little matter that I did not hang on to. But I feel that the situation is getting pretty serious. I had been away traveling for a whole month, and the other day, after I got back when we were sitting down for dinner with my family I realized that she had been lying/exaggerating to the rest of the family about a lot of things I had written to her in emails during my trip. What was even more outrageous was that she was also continuing to lie about the things I told her after I got back, right in front of me! I had to basically cut her off all the time to explain to everyone that no, it wasn't really like that. My grandmother is quite faint-hearted and it turns out that she was seriously worried for my safety all month as a result of the information my mother had been feeding her.

It's just things like this that have been adding up, and they have been worrying me. Would really appreciate some advice.

anon42909
Post 116

As a sister and godmother to my sister's oldest daughter, I am looking for help to understand what I am witnessing in my family. Maybe it would help to just talk. It starts with my sister has had a jealousy for me all my life. I am six years younger and growing up with this was difficult to grasp. I would go overboard trying to get her to like and love me. As I grew up I just let it go, in defeat. Others say she loves me so much she wants to be me. It boggles my mind why we cannot be close friends then. When she became a mother, she honored me with being godmother. When my goddaughter was a year old my sister gave birth to her second daughter. This youngest daughter was sadly born with developmental delays. Guilt was tossed around a lot about that. At eight and nine years old their father left my sister and them. He pleaded for help from family, pastors and therapy for four years before he left. He is not without his own issues and has three DUIs as a result. But he still doesn't have a court order or official divorce. He supports the family house/bills. He says he just can't live with my sister. Cut to today, my nieces are 13 and 14. My goddaughter is telling fantastic lies like my sister now. She is angry, frustrated, alienated and running away. My sister bought her a fake engagement ring at the department store. My goddaughter wears the ring, telling school mates she is engaged to an 18-year-old who lives four states away. In part true, she is in love. But they are not engaged. Now as HS goes, rumor is she is pregnant. She isn't as they have no contact other than text messages. My point is, my sister would tell fantastic lies and believe them herself. She brainwashes my goddaughter by telling 'tales'. About everyone in the family, how we beat her, locked her up, wouldn't feed her. That my father drowned her cats in front of her. How she wanted to ride horses but my parents wouldn't let her. Instead, they made her sit in the bleachers and watch me ride. I can't go on, because it upsets me to repeat. Recently, she felt she lost my goddaughter at a family picnic. When she found her she lied and said that I said I smelled booze on her. My goddaughter came to me with a balled up fist to my face as I sat in a chair none the wiser.

Now my sister says she does not remember any of that. My goddaughter is so confused about us, that i stepped away. I am blown away at some of the 'tales'. I'm so frustrated I brought my sister to therapy and she quit when they started asking her to read certain books for help. Before meeting this kid at 4-H she fell in love with, my goddaughter was out on their roof threatening suicide. Now she thinks this guy across the states is her only lifeline. He is going to take her away from all of us who hate her and think she is stupid, she says. There is no reasoning with her that her emotions are from 'tales'. I am 44 and my sister is 50. I financially supported them to pursue hobbies and interests. I was thinking sports and pursuit of their own happiness would help dissipate frustrations. Soccer, horses, dance, track, snowboarding, cell phones. My daughter did not go without. She went with me to colleges and I supported summer pursuits as a vet assistant she wanted to be. One day, she texted me to say that I was not her family. That she has a family and I am not in it. It came from another 'tale' from my sister. And I cannot reason with my goddaughter now at 14 and in love and running away. I don't lecture, I listen. Our conversations are short and in the midst of playing on the mountain snowboarding together. I am in pain like a hole in my soul. The lies continue and they have isolated themselves with the thoughts that they are not loved and that family is out to hurt them. My niece/goddaughter is so confused and angry and from a distance now I let her I know I'm still here but giving her space. It's like watching a life be snuffed out and you can't reach them. I'm torn up seeing the desperate/angry look in this child's eyes. God speed as she grows through this and finds her way. We spent years together before she reached teens. I can only hope one day she gains perspective amidst the chaos she and my sister perpetuate. People cannot be helped until they are willing to help themselves. Patiently waiting for this moment is painful for those in witness of self destruction. Reach out, hands are there for you.

anon42908
Post 115

I am a pathological liar. I think i am evil because of it. i have cheated on girlfriends and made up whole fantasy histories. Ex-girlfriends each know me as a completely different person. The truth recently came out and it has forced me to come to terms with my problems.

At the moment, I am avoiding family and friends for fear of lying to them more. Realizing I have a problem has helped me a lot. Reading these posts has helped also.

I feel very lonely and sometimes talk to myself. I am going to start a journal. I will be 100 percent honest and also write down the lies I feel like saying. I am hoping to have a new job lined up in the next 6 weeks which will take me from my home town.

I am not sure where my problem comes from. I have lied for as long as I can remember. Usually to paint a better picture of myself or seem more interesting.

I was a very anxious child but otherwise happy. I had a very vivid imagination.

i am 24 now and have thrown away love and so many friends. I wish I could stop lying, but as other posts have mentioned lying to me is like telling the truth, it just comes out. I have not lied today because I have not spoken with anybody. I don't want to lead my life like this. I keep repeating to myself "a better truth is better than a sweet lie."

anon42905
Post 113

Hello. I believe I've fallen into this awful habit of lying. It's a terrible disease of the mind not to tell the truth. Just yesterday I was visiting the cemetery and I got caught up in some chit chat with a complete stranger; I could see that I was lying (only a few facts) but I went ahead with my fibs-why? Because I wanted to protect myself from my spiritual work I do and to feel prideful! Geez I'm worthless in the eyes of God!!

Today- I want to make a stop to lying and I don't believe that people who lie cannot put an end to this habit! It is possible to stop - but you have to want it. you have to say enough is enough! I've got to change!

My issue with lying in fact is to protect myself- as a large part of my life I've wasted out of fear, illness and basically stupidity! So now I'm confronted to hide behind my lies! Other than that I want to make other people to like me, to reveal some goodness but to feel important and for this I do the stupidest thing- I mix truth with lies! And you know after I lie- I go home and I feel yuck. So yes legitimately I want to change. I want to someday have a relationship with a guy- but I can't start lying to him- ruining a life together! I've read so many of other people's articles on here and you know what- jeez it hurts to see such a waste of life together when someone lies to you and constantly lies. What a waste of life!!

My Pa is a pathological liar, so yes it's been part of the family, growing up in an environment where lying is considered okay.

A few years back I got in trouble with the police over an incident from fabricating the truth. I was really glad to see that I came clean before the law, but it didn't stop me from making up imaginary little stories here and there to people. I do worry, even today I have had to stop lying to my mom as I had a break before. And here while writing this article- I stopped, reviewed and erased a part of it- and started afresh- to want to change- means- sit down, by yourself- examine your heart, see your faults and then taking baby steps when the feeling approaches and you're going to lie- stop! My plan is, when I talk to someone from now on and I start lying about anything in the conversation- I will stop- I will embarrass myself by 'talking to myself' reminding me to stop lying- apologise and then and only then say the truth!

It's the only way to kick this stupid habit of lying. How I see it is if a person truthfully wants to make an impact in his/her life- no medical attention can help, no books or therapy can help- don't waste money on fads! If you truly want to change- then you have to help yourself. I sure will. Look, its hard in the beginning- I admit it- but then everything is hard the first time around. Even openly sharing this secret side of me to the world is in fact the hardest- even though I remain anonymous- for me it's hard to reveal my disease of my mind- by being a stupid liar. But I do it- because I'm proving to myself first of all that I mean I want to change but also I'm proving to you all that it is possible to make a new start- it's possible to fix something in your life that is wrong! But you have to seriously want to make the change.

I want people to judge me- so I can see my faults, I want people to say what a lying man- so I can feel the hurt that I've created to acknowledge the pain and to change! It's not going to get me in to heaven- lies are the devil's friend and I certainly do not want to be the devil's companion, for in him there is no life!

anon42536
Post 109

After reading some of the responses, i feel so much better to know it is not my fault -- that my husband is a habitual or pathological liar. I still can't figure the difference.

We've been married for one year and a half, have been dating for almost 4 years before, and recently i discovered he has this disease.

I have caught him lying after one year of dating when i discovered that he was still with his ex-girlfriend although he told me they broke up after we started dating. his excuse was that he didn't want to hurt her feelings as she was so in love with him where he had to leave her gradually. i was so hurt and started being so angry with him but i think i was in love with him enough to forgive him and move on. after that i started catching him with white lies. i became more angry with him and being so nervous because i felt a lack of control. still i stayed with him because i believe i was still in the denial stage!

After we got engaged he started his P.HD. i didn't catch lies since he went to england and our relationship was long-distance but deep down i was positive there was something wrong. when we got married i started discovering a huge amount of lies, on daily basis. when ever we go out with his friends i discover more and more white lies and big lies. his excuse was that he told me this or that just to impress me or in order not to leave him if i discovered the opposite. i started becoming a terrible person where i was angry with him and from myself. he had a very manipulative way in accusing me for being the reason for his lies and that because of my anger he wasn't able to confront me. I once met two of his female friends. we become so close that they started telling me how my husband used to tell them awful things about me and how he used to tell others to cover up for him when they met me. finally, we confronted him. he was so mad and angry with us. he started denying everything.

I am going to get my divorce soon. the lesson my new friends and i learned is never cover up for a liar because this will make things worse and for me. never stay with a liar. i had the chance to leave him much earlier but i was blaming myself for his lies or assuming that he got me in this situation for a reason. I will never regret this and at least i have learnt something.

anon42478
Post 108

i don't know if i fit into this category of pathological liar. i know i am not a compulsive liar because it isn't a habit. i lie to protect myself and my friends from the horrible things i've done. i don't want people to be impressed with me and make up stories. i lie to hide things that i am not proud of. i keep thinking that this habit of lying will go away if i just stop doing things that i feel the need to lie about. because it's not like i lie about little things, i lie about the things in my relationships that are absolutely horrible such as cheating. i think i have a problem with doing things impulsively and then afterwards i feel bad about what i have done and instead of dealing with it i just want to ignore it. and the weird thing is that i don't even know the truth myself after a while. i find it hard to even admit the truth to myself because i feel so horrible about the things i have done. i am not sure how to deal with this problem because i dont think i would lie if i didn't do the things that i need to lie about. how can i be truthful if the truth is so horrible?

anon42410
Post 107

I believe I am a pathological liar. I mostly lie to my husband and unfortunately it's about both money and job issues. I want to stop but I don't know how. Every time I lie and my husband finds out, he gets very angry where it scares everyone in the house. So I know deep down that my lying makes things worse, not only for me, but our two girls. I think I usually start the lie because I hate confrontations and I don't want him upset even though I know if I just told the truth from the start, it wouldn't be as bad as it is once he finds out the truth.

I have an appointment with a counselor but I'm afraid that she won't be able to help. I'm also afraid that my relationship with my daughters will be ruined if I don't get the help that I so desperately need and want. They are too young to be caught up in my illness and my husbands anger.

anon42133
Post 106

My sister-in-law is a pathological liar. I also think she has some sort of personality disorder because she seems to not have a conscience. She lies about everything. Her career, her education, the paternity of her children, her health, her family members --*everything*! I have come to learn how to tell if she is lying. The way I tell is that her lips are moving. She has lied about needing to have a hysterectomy. She actually asked my sister if she could borrow $120 because she needed the surgery. As if that would actually cover the cost. Wow. She has lied and said her father molested her. I don't know how to deal with it. I've tried confronting her but she never admits to her lies and just makes my life miserable. I wish I knew how to deal with her.

anon41784
Post 105

I, too, am a pathological liar. I am 38 years old, and have just admitted this to myself. I never realized how many people that I've hurt throughout my life, but with the help of my best friend, I'm beginning to face the way I am. It hurts. I feel alone and lonely, and totally overwhelmed. I want to get help, want to fix this problem, and live a "normal" life. I have four children who are depending on me, and I need to be OK. I have a friend who has stuck by my side despite what I've put her through, and she deserves for me to be a true and real friend back to her. I need help before it's too late.

anon41405
Post 104

I am a borderline pathological liar. I have been in therapy for years and have been diagnosed with various mental illnesses like ADHD, Hypo-mania, Bipolar Disorder. The latest is the oh-so-boring Generalized Anxiety Disorder. This feels like the most accurate one. I'm not sure if I'll ever stop lying completely, so I have decided to be honest about being a liar. My friends all know it. My partner knows it and when I am caught in a lie I don't get defensive. Sometimes when I tell a lie I immediately confess. It helps. Another thing I have done is figured out how to turn my lies (fantasies about what I *wish* my life were like) into reality. I am going back to finish my degree for example. I actually *went* to Europe a few times so I didn't have to make up stories about how much I just love Paris anymore. I guess my point is that there is no cure. There is only managing the illness. I'm fortunate that those close to me see through my BS, are not afraid to call me out on it and see the real person inside who loves deeply and deserves to be loved. At the end of the day though, it's on me to work toward reversing my patterns and come clean when possible. It's hard but not impossible to deal with.

anon41306
Post 103

To be honest, i'm actually crying right now. i'm a pathological liar. i've been lying for some years now. i don't even remember when or how it started. all i can say is that a month ago, i lost my best friends. they found me out and confronted me. the first one was good actually, it made me realize myself and change, but the second time they confronted me, it was really bad. they laughed at me, made fun of me, brought each lie up getting more angry and angry then they just hit me. and apparently they had 2 other friends whom i don't know. i'm scared. i really am scared.

i will admit some lies i have made for personal benefit, but not all. it has become a habit, where i can't stop, and honestly i never wanted to continue those lies, but since people ask about it, i can't own up anymore. i just have to continue it, and with the new friends i make, what they hear is of my lies from other friends and believe it. i really dont know what to do.

my other friends who confronted me are actually scaring me. if they can bring people that i don't know to beat me up, how will i know if i'm safe? when i go outside at night to the store or to throw out the trash, i would not know. i'm scared. i'm so scared, and since one of those guys could hit me with the others not stopping him, meaning that they could jump me one day, i'm actually really frightned and don't know what to do. i'm really sorry and i've changed. i've actually owned up to some people, because im really scared that those other guys will ruin the relationships i have now..

i really just hope and pray that things don't get worse for me. i never intended to hurt people or wreck my relationships. i never wanted that, but seems like it's gonna happen anyway. message to the others: if you are lying, try your best to stop, for at the end you might be standing alone with no one to talk to.

Moderator's reply: Glad to hear you have realized you needed to make some changes and are making an effort to be truthful. If you are truly in fear of your safety, it may be time to contact law enforcement about your situation. Please continue with the good progress you have been making.

anon40604
Post 101

I am a pathological liar. I have made up people in my head and told others they died and I actually feel like they have died. It's gone too far, but it's not going anywhere. I knew there was something wrong with me.

anon39881
Post 100

There is a cure and only one cure for being a pathological liar and that is Jesus. If you are truly sorry about lying and want help, get on your knees right now and ask Jesus to come into your life and forgive you for lying, ask him to change you and to make you into a new person. Talk to him about it, he is the great physician that has a 100 percent success rate, if you believe in him.

anon39545
Post 99

My sister lies about me. I didn't realize how bad it was until her son sent copies of emails to me that she had been sending out to my family and friends. She is wonderful at manipulation but these lies are so horrible that I understand now why I have lost contact with my cousins and friends in the last ten years. I always suspected she was lying about me but to see it in front of me hurts me more than I can say. I have always wanted to be close to my sister. I have done everything in my power to help her. I even drove her to an abortion clinic when I was 9 months pregnant with my own child, took care of her 3 year old while we waited for her and then stood by silently while she lied to her husband and my parents that she had a miscarriage. I have sacrificed so much just hoping to have a sister who loves and instead I have a sister who hates me so much she invents horrible lies about me. I don't know what is worse, the lies she tells people or that people believe it. My husband and his family say it's because she is jealous of me. Everything is a competition to her. That is not consoling to me. I don't know what to do. My father dotes on her. He goes along with anything she said no matter how absurd and my mother is too afraid to take them both on and speak her mind. I don't trust any of them and if it weren't for my husband's family I would question my own sanity. What do I do? How do I defend myself? Someone please help me. I pride myself on being very honest and direct. I don't know how to take this on.

anon39524
Post 98

I have a girlfriend for over a year who lies. She has ADD, is unable to accept responsibility for any of her actions, often involving accusing me of things, tearing me down, projecting onto me. I think it's pathological and even physiological. I think her brain is wired in a way to distort reality, in order to protect her fragile sense of self worth, and she believes what she is saying is the truth. Even when shown the truth she will say "what I meant" and that is habitual. It's at the point where there is no foundation left in our relationship.

anon38781
Post 97

We are coming to the realization that our son is a pathological liar - and he's been this way for years. Now 10, he lies just as poorly as he did when he was 5 - his lies don't add up!

When asked about something - he'll often repeat the question before answering (buying time) and then give out a response. Even if you say "don't lie to us" he will most likely lie.

We give him 1,000 lines to write as punishment if he is caught lying and he is learning that if he tells the truth - even if he may get in a bit of trouble- it's far better than lying.

But he still lies.

I don't think he can help it, he seems quite confused much of the time when trying to figure out why he lied or why he did something.

Diagnosed ADHD, tried Stratters, Concerta and Adderall - now using Native Remdies Focus Formula, BrightSpark and most likely Mindsoothe soon. He still has a way to go before he can be trusted.

He will lie about brushing his teeth, sneaking food, cleaning up his room, asking the teacher something, what kind of sandwich he had for lunch -- little things -- and he'll lie about big things too.

I am trying to learn more, because to discipline people with these disorders, which can be beyond their control, will only push them further down the spiral. Smothering in kindness doesn't work alone either though. Psychologists and psychiatrists don't have all the answers to this one yet and it's up to us to see what works.

Helping our son realize we understand and want to help is one thing. Having him wait 5 sec before answering is another aolution to implement. Letting him change his answer up to 30 seconds after spitting it out may help him save face.

Their feeling of guilt and despair must be overwhelming and make them feel inadequate about many aspects of their lives since they are feeling the need to lie/cover up/hide whatever they are saying or being expected to say.

I don't know many kids who don't lie but this is different and will cause him much grief down the road if it can't be fixed. His biological father was also a pathological liar so I would put my guess on it that it can be hereditary.

anon38459
Post 96

about three years ago I got custody of two out of four nephews. the other two my parents have them. the 13 year old i have has been lying every day, even for no reason, and even when he is caught red handed. he doesn't or won't talk much. he takes others' stories of their own lives and use it as his own. Just like his mother. this is sad.

anon37473
Post 95

I am 16 years old and I've finally comes to terms with the fact that I am definitely a pathological liar. I don't know where it came from or why I do it. I remember this starting when I was about 10 years old. It has ruined my life. I'm constantly paranoid I'll be found out, but I have no control. I tell myself I won't lie and suddenly someone asks me a question about myself or my family and out spew the lies without my even thinking of it. People who accuse us of not caring about anyone but ourselves (or some crap like that) don't know the agony we face. You don't even know if you're lying to yourself. You lose all sense of being (if I even worded that right). I've recently moved from my dads into my mums in another city in hopes that I can either stop lying and no longer endure the pain it causes, or at least here be alone and nobody know who I really am. I will never tell my mum what I am. I couldn't bear that.. :/ I've always been interested in psychology and development, and am always looking for a reason why I'm like this. I wish I could remember more of my childhood. Many of the lies involve having siblings (I am an only child but I cannot help denying it no matter what, so lucky for me I have step siblings now). I've always had an intense urge for older brothers, so it usually involves that. I don't lie maliciously though...if I worded that wrong what I mean is I don't mean to hurt others. And now hopefully I won't again. Wish me luck?

If I can't stop lying, I will isolate myself if I have to. I hope to get myself therapy privately when I can afford it as an adult. Agh, rant much? I guess I needed to express this..

I'm glad to know there are more people like me. I wish yall luck. If there's any advice anyone could give me it is greatly appreciated. With love-anon

anon36752
Post 94

My husband lies a lot. I don't think he fits the profile of a patholigical liar. He lies about small things. At first it was just exaggeration but now it is mostly lies that gets him through the day. For instance, instead of saying that he cannot make a scheduled appointment, he blames someone else. He makes up stories (nothing malicious). I am tired of having a decent conversation with him because I can't differentiate between the truth and his lies. He was never like this. I dread spending time with him. We've been married for 30 years.

anon36713
Post 93

My husband fits the profile for a pathologic liar. how can i protect my son from learning this behavior

anon36130
Post 92

My niece has been a pathological liar since the age of seven. Telling the teacher she took shots in her legs every day and that she was adopted and her father was black. None of which was true. It has progressed to the point that now at age 45, she is making stories up that would blow your mind. She is estranged from her mother due to this. My sister says she has lost a daughter, like she died. She hates her and wishes she would never have to see her again. My niece, due to infertility has adopted a bi-racial child. My sister loves her to death and fears her daughter will at some point keep her from her. She is looking to adopt 3 more in November, but states she is going to get her Masters in occupational therapy starting in September. She has never even taken any courses in OT to start a Masters program. She states she has been to college on and off til her credits are enough to start. Wrong! Her husband is out of work and will be the stay at home Dad. When you ask how everyone will be supported she concocts a way. Nearly everything out of her mouth is a lie. Our family knowing this brushes it off as that's --------. I want her helped and possibly get her mother to love her again. What she will do, is to get mad at her mother over the least thing and say, "I hate you, you're not my mother anymore, I don't ever want to talk to you again." Some months will go by and out of the blue she will return into my sister's life like nothing ever happened. My sister says, no more. She is not letting her back this time. I'm wondering if this could have an impact differently on her lying, like maybe exacerbate it. This actually is what I am seeing. I live in another state but talk to my sister every day and it is usually about my niece. I am going to monitor her actions and read all I can about this disorder and hopefully find the kinder side of my sister that will let my niece back into her life. Now I have to say, both my sister and hniece are "control freaks". Probably another bad combination. Thank you for reading this. Linda

anon35530
Post 91

I'm sure this is what must be wrong with my Ex. I love him, with all my heart. When we first met he told me how rich he was, how successful his parents were, how many cars he had, how impressive his grades and classes were, that he was a phenominal athelete... Which i later found was all lies. More than anything I wish he was different. He still contacts me & says he wants to be with me, and loves me, and then he'll go another two weeks without speaking to me. He's recently lost a bunch of friends due to his lying as well. I feel sorry for him, and for all of us who want to be close to him. I miss him so much, and I love him to death. I love who he is, how cute & sweet he is, how playful, and how caring he has always been. I hope this is something that can & will change. Thanks for the post.

anon35076
Post 90

i am a pathological liar and i am also bipolar. i didnt know why i'd lie over such small things until 6/26/09 when my fiancee said one more lie and we are through. i have lost good relationships over my white lies...why do i do this? it came to me a couple of days later...i just dont want to hurt anyone with the truth - or i'm afraid to say the truth - God give me strength to beat this. i am so confused and lonely. i have nothing...sometimes my life is so unreal because of the lies. where does the truth begin/end? i just dont know. i am on heavy medications and yet it doesnt help me. they are stupid lies, things i can be honest about, but the dang lie just pops out and before i know it, here comes the daily routine of having to keep that lie going. its so hard to deal with that i have now kept myself inside my home and hardly talk to anyone for fear of lying to them...thats how bad it is. any suggestions or help would be greatly appreciated. my oldest daughter doesnt trust me and we have a strained relationship, my son stands by me, but wishes i would just stop. i want a real and normal life but dont know how to go about it. i am 46 years old - why can't i be honest?

KathyLynn
Post 89

I've been reading on this subject for three days.

The most painful part is thinking or maybe even knowing that he can't be fixed and I feel almost, completely hopeless. See how confused I sound?

I'm a mess over my lover who has this disorder and he is now in jail. He is a pathological liar. He has ripped out and chewed up my heart, but refuses to throw it back at me, if that makes any sense! I could write 8 paragraphs of disgusting details but who wants to go through that right?

I'm happy to know that I am not alone but at the same time saddened to see such torment and turmoil this projects and there's currently no effective treatment. At least I haven't read about any success stories yet.

I remain deeply in love with this man and have decided that I am going to give him one last chance and try to get him to get some help. I am mailing him stuff I printed, information on the disorder explaining the brain structural study ect.

Please keep us in your prayers!! If I ever needed the Glorious God above it will definitely be to get through this.

Thanks for reading and good luck in your endeavors.

anon34514
Post 88

My husband is a pathological liar. We have 2 young boys and the lies that he creates are hurting us. It's not fair what he's doing. I've tried to help him for 5 years now. The worst part is I didn't know this side of him until after we were married. Our 4 year old has been torn from one place to another 'cause my husband will say he paid the rent and then the day comes when were being evicted. I want to believe him. My son wants to know why time after time he has to leave his old room and his old house. I've thought that divorce would be the end of all this heartache, but I really love him and he's an awesome father. What do I do?

anon34228
Post 87

I am a pathological liar. I don't know if it has ruined or completely taken over my life, but the lie is a constant companion. More often than not, if I am telling a story or just events in my life I embellish. Heavily. I add people, explosions, heartache. Sometimes I subtract. It doesn't matter, I just lie. I've been doing it since I was very, very young, maybe three or four. I've just gotten better.

It helped with theater. I'm an excellent actress every second of every day. I lie about terrible things, like being raped as a child, or good things, like having a good sandwich or that a random stranger said my friend looked pretty. The thing is, I have real pain. I have real pleasure. And they are fantastic. I have been abused, neglected, and forgotten by my parents, but I was never raped. I have had incredible experiences, seen and felt wonderful things, but I continue to invent new ones or omit the ones I have had.

I want to stop. I don't even know who I am anymore. I love the people around me and hope to god that none of them ever find out, of course there are so many lines of lies spiraling outwards from me that they are going to take more lies to keep them from falling apart.

I'm terrified of losing the people I love. I haven't moved from group to group like many of the PLs here; I've just kept constant vigil for the preservation of my lies. I make all my fake stories straight, and keep them circulated with all the right people.

The problem is that it builds. You get away with one lie with one person, you're fine but you feel guilty. You repeat the lie or hear it repeated, you feel slightly stabbed and want to fix it but it's too late. It's reached another person. It is officially your truth.

Magnify that a million fold.

That's my life.

I hate this. I hate myself. There is a constant writhing in my stomach and I just know that another lie is about to tumble out and there is no way I will be able to recover.

If I can contribute anything meaningful in this confession, probably the first and only confession I will ever write (it's too risky, and I'm deleting my browsing history after this), I am a bipolar person outside of the lies. That's one thing I can be honest about.

alienative
Post 86

My stepfather is a pathological liar. I love him, but I know that when he tells me something I have to wait to hear the story from another family member to filter what's truth or not.

It is obvious that lying destroys and alienates. It is a habit that to this day has not proven to have any good in it.

I read in a Book once that there is an adversary of humans that is the father of lies. That same book also talks about a friend, Jesus, who claimed to be the truth.

I firmly believe that Jesus is willing and powerful enough to change your life. He will help you stop lying. You just need to trust in Him, tell Him all your sins and lies, accept that He died for you and He came back from the dead to give you eternal life.

He can heal you. I can testify to that because He healed me.

stylist
Post 85

My husband and I have 3 children, all boys. I want to know if Pathological Lying is a learned behavior. My husband lies everyday, he can't even tell the truth about how much something costs or if my son is sick he will tell his family it is way worse than it really is. He lies about jobs, people, his height, what he eats..he even swears on his sons life when he lies and makes stuff up about his childhood. He blames is lying on weed, he was sneaking weed and money but I know it goes deeper then that. I don't even know who he is, i fell in love with all his lies not him....what can i do to get him checked and help so my boys don't follow in his footsteps??? Please help, I can't handle 1 more lie!

anon31671
Post 84

I feel like I want to cry as I read this. I am 29 years old, I never thought I was a pathological liar until the last couple of years. I realized that I am constantly paranoid that someone will find out a "white lie" that I told. I live in fear of being discovered. At some point I realized...I lie more than once a day. About nothing. About everything. For no reason. To relate to people. It just comes out of my mouth. And the wild thing is that I have a pretty interesting life and my true stories are the ones that people generally respond to. I don't know why I lie. I hate myself for it.

The thing that scares me the most is that the people I love and care about will find out. I'm so ashamed every day fearing that they will know, and hate me. I am happily married, I try not to lie to my husband, but it just happens. Lately I have been trying to admit to it when I do, no matter how small, and say "I'm sorry I don't know why I said that" and then follow it up with the truth. But I fear that if I keep on doing this he will eventually realize how often that happens. I lie about things as stupid as if he asks me if I heard something funny on the tv I say yes even though I have no idea what he is talking about. Even as I say it I think "why am I lying?"

I recently got a promotion at my job, everyone seems to like me there, but each day I sit in paranoia thinking "they are going to find out that I lie about things and hate me" and sometimes this causes anxiety attacks where I can't breathe. I never stay at a job more than a year because of this, even though when I leave they always seem confused as to why I am quitting. Then I think I should stay in touch with people there to make sure they don't talk about me when I leave.

Most of my lies tend to be embellishments and exaggerations, with some truth involved, but stretched. This drives me crazy later because I think "why couldn't I have just told the story without saying that?!" generally the lie is a pretty insignificant part of the story, that's the worst part. I say it and there is no justifiable reason even to myself. I think I need help. I've been trying to stop unsuccessfully on my own.

The worst part for me is that I value honesty in others, I think its an important trait. I hate being a liar, it makes me ashamed and sick inside. I also feel like a fraud and like everyone I know sees it. That's the worst. It makes me want to run away and start over, but I love my husband and I have a nice home and job and family. I don't know what to do. I don't want to admit the scope of my problem.

Tonight we were watching a show on a con-woman and it really made me think "I know exactly why she does this" and that scared me. I just want help.

anon31331
Post 83

My wife is a pathological liar. I found out she had two major loans from finance companies and five major credit cards. I had it all in black and white and she still lied about it.

Then she got involved in an internet relationship with an old lover. I caught her several times with phone bills. She denied everything. I have left her three times hoping she would get help.

One day her friend and friend's boyfriend saw her in a restaurant with another guy. They told me, but she denied it.

I honestly don't think they can be helped.

anon30504
Post 81

My wife is one of these liars. I love her so much and want to get her help. We have been married for 5 years and both came from 2 previous marriages. I thought life was perfect with this woman until I discovered that she was still in communication with a former lover/boyfriend. I don't think there has been a sexual relationship with him, just an inappropriate hidden desire on her part to have one.

He and I have talked many times and he is in a serious relationship with another woman and does not desire a romantic involvement with my wife. He has told her this recently and told her to stay with me and love me, because I am the best thing that could ever happen to her. I want to trust her, but she tells lies, albeit small ones mostly, but if she lies about something insignificant, she won't hesitate to lie about the big stuff either.

I am seeking help for her, but she will not acknowledge her problem about the lies.

jspader25
Post 80

What treatment is out there for this? Just therapy? Can people stop the lying once they've started.

My girlfriend *finally* came clean about lies she had been telling about herself prior to our relationship. I don't know if she is still lying, or if she lies about everyday things, but I don't think so. Most of the lies were about her past. Since she came clean (finally got it *all* out the 3rd time we've been through this discussion), I'm having trouble believing that it won't happen again, and having trust issues moving forward. I'm not sure if I should stick it out and give her another chance (the 4th one!!) now that I believe she came clean about everything.

What does everyone think? How can I help her? I love her, she hasn't cheated on me, and we have so much fun together. Is it worth it? Am I blindly walking into a major heartache?

Thanks for the advice!

anon29471
Post 79

Yes people can be both pathological and habitual liars. I had whom I thought was a really good friend for several years. She was intelligent enough, and myself naive enough that I didn't catch her until we grew very close.

I noticed one day that she said something that made no sense whatsoever. I called her out. She made another lie up in an attempt to cover the first. It too was absurd. I called her out again. She made another lie. I left because I was extremely upset and disappointing.

My whole world shattered. We had shared our deepest secrets together. At least, I did. I just didn't know what was ever true in what she said after that experience. I was incredibly confused.

It was so much more than this though. This girl was also sociopathic. She was incapable of admitting fault. She would lash out at me, when I called her out. She called me the liar. Cursed me out.

I found out through reflection that she had been using me the whole time. She essentially stole from me, claiming that she needed money for x-situation, when in reality it was a lie to get drugs. She would use me for rides. Sometimes she asked for rides, set up a time, then when I went to her house, she would already be gone! Or she'd set up a ride, we'd arrive at a location, and she'd already set up another ride with someone shortly after and ditch out on me. She just wanted to be at this location ASAP to get high.

When she turned it around on me, and called me the liar, I flipped out. Honesty is a high ideal that I do my best to uphold. I demanded she tell me where I lied. She dropped me as a "friend" at this point. Never spoke to me again!

She convinced many of our mutual friends that I went crazy for no good reason! She said it was all in my head, etc...I was enraged!

I told her that I was becoming seriously ill. That I just needed to talk to her. For her to come clean. I regret that I mentioned, I had helped her on numerous occasions, and never asked a thing. Now I was asking just this once for help. She never responded. She played the victim and sought pity from 'new recruits'.

I was scarred from the experience. I think of her daily. It comes up in the first few minutes I wake up. It's incredibly difficult to accept that she is and always was a sociopath. Beyond help. Not wanting any, period!

It's hard to have compassion for someone who will just use it against you in any way possible.

Moral of the story. If you suspect a pathological, and/or habitual liar, run run run!! The only way they may get better is by hitting rock bottom. I think this occurs when they lose their narcissistic supply. When all around them see who they are, and deny their control.

This is exactly their game, whether they're conscious of it or not. Control. I think it stems from a deep unconscious insecurity issue. Exterior superiority, from interior inferiority.

Broken, sad people.

anon29283
Post 78

I have lost a fiance to compulsive lying. She also suffered from severe depression, and cheated, but always denied it and came up with ever amazing/fantastical excuses. She would disappear for days/nights. She would lie about small things and massive things. Even when she could easily tell the truth, like she wasn't feeling well, she would make up a greater story about diseases, operations, ill health to make it sound more credible, but she was really making it sound more unbelievable.

I am thinking that this type of lying must have some link to depression and mental illnesses, however she has also comes from a family where lying and secrecy is very prevalent. I am wondering if it is genetic/learned behaviour. The trouble is that it is so hard for a pathological liar to change and get help.

I do feel sorry for her. I have been hurt by her, but I just want to hug her and make things better as I understand and know she is in mental turmoil and doesn't want to do what she does. She so desperately wants to be a different person.

p0079
Post 77

I am 21 yrs. old and I have a problem with lying. I want to stop sooo bad! It's like a drug and hard to stop. It's ruining my life. I have lost my best friend and my fiance. I wish there was something to just make it all go away!

I think the journal idea one guy had is a great idea! I am actually going to try that! I hope it works! Every time I try a fresh start I end up falling and lying over something stupid.

I lie about stuff that doesn't even matter. But when someone catches me it makes me mad. I know it shouldn't because they are the one who's hurt by what I did.

Maybe I need counseling. If anyone has suggestions please let me know!!

anon28802
Post 76

It's amazing just how many people were afflicted by pathological liars. I never realized how truly devastating relationships, no matter how casual or serious it is, with them can be until quite recently.

About a year ago, I had met someone online, who seemed the most normal person you could think of. In the *very* beginning, no one would even think of this person being "abnormal". Little by little however, things got stranger. Once when I was chatting online with her, she claimed she had a "friend" with her that would take her place online and talk on her account, because she "supposedly" had to leave the room for awhile. JSYK, this "friend" was said to have lived halfway across the country, so how *that* could be done I have no idea.

Later on, going by the robotic way of typing and having the same sentence and grammatical structure as the PL, I knew they were one and the same. This "friend" also had an account on PL's forum where PL was the admin. The "friend" was no doubt the liar's second account. She claimed her "husband" also had an account on there as well, and also going by the same grammatical and sentence structure whenever "he" posted, that was probably her as well.

Now, on to PL's actual behavior. She claimed to have dated and had connections with all these fancy and upper-profile people. Renowned businessmen, lesser-known celebrities...you name it. Her clone accounts also claim this is 100% fact, of course with this being established, we can just let that go; besides I have no idea how anyone could swallow that tripe with *no* questions. Whenever I asked "but..how is this possible?", "What about those different details you told me before?", "Why don't you just tell the whole truth instead of saying "it's secret" or "it's too complicated?" And believe me, whenever you'd question her lies or anything that she claimed to have happened, she would become snippy and irritable and bombard you with *more* lies and sometimes bar you altogether. It was like talking to a 13-year old (no offense to all the intelligent 13 year-olds out there).

Finally, she agreed not to talk about it with me anymore ever again. Then only a week later, she began talking about her "celeb" boyfriend and they used to do such-and-such. I never answered that one, figuring "I'll just let it go". However, a few days after that, she waxed poetic about her relationship with a wealthy tycoon who was just so *incredibly* in love with her and vice avers.

I finally cut off my account and I haven't been on that stupid forum for a little over a month. I decided to just let that made-for-fantasy-and-deceit person waste away in her false and nonexistent reveries.

To anyone who is dealing with a pathological liar: It's them, Not you. And whenever you are dealing with one, back away sloooowly....and *run*!!!

anon28702
Post 75

I fell in love with a "compulsive liar" or is she a "pathological liar"? I am no expert, I just know she lies a lot and when there is no reason! She lied so much to me! She lied to her family too! It is so hurtful! I feel a fool for loving her so much though she has cheated on me, pretended to love me...etc. I realised her family lies too, so makes me wonder if being such a liar can be learned? and could it ever be cured or unlearned? It is sad, as I still feel I love her, but I have to let her go now. She is 31yo! I am older and wiser and hurting too!

anon28671
Post 74

I am a pathological liar. I think i am evil because of it. i have cheated on girlfriends and made up whole fantasy histories. Ex-girlfriends each know me as a completely different person. The truth recently came out and it has forced me to come to terms with my problems.

At the minute. I am avoiding family and friends for fear of lying to them more. Realizing I have a problem has helped me a lot. Reading these posts has helped also.

I feel very lonely and sometimes talk to myself. I am going to start a journal. 100% honest and also write down the lies I feel like saying. I am hoping to have a new job lined up in the next 6 weeks which will take me from my home town.

I am not sure where my problem comes from. I have lied for as long as I can remember. Usually to paint a better picture of myself or seem more interesting.

I was a very anxious child but otherwise happy. I had a very vivid imagination.

i am 24 now and have thrown away love and so many friends. I wish I could stop lying, but as other posts have mentioned lying to me is like telling the truth, it just comes out. I have not lied today because I have not spoken with anybody. I don't want to lead my life like this. I keep repeating to myself "a better truth is better than a sweet lie."

anon27240
Post 73

If a person is lying to get what they want, then they are planning out the lie, being manipulative. This in itself means that they are in control, not out of control of their lies. A person who lies for no reason would be pathological. They are lying because it's the first thing that pops in their head. Not for gain, just because they do. I wonder if people can be both pathological and habitual.

anon26327
Post 72

I have a 15 year old step-daughter who is mimicking her bio mother & lies about everything and anything on a daily basis and I no longer know what to do about it. She has been in counseling, and been through therapy and psychologists and nothing seems to help. I have 3 other children, 2 are older (19 & 17, I am not worried about them) but I have a 4 year old & I am worried about her thinking that this behavior is acceptable.

I love my step daughter & have always thought of her as my own because I have raised her as she is estranged from her mother due to the constant lying that her mom has done with her....I just don't know what to do anymore. I have recently made a decision, under a great amount of stress, to allow her to finish high school in her home with us, but she must leave upon completion. I have to think about my other daughter & her welfare. My step daughter will either have to go to my mother-in-laws or to another relative's.

I can't do it anymore. She has been suspended from school, kicked out of different activities, sent to juvenile court for stealing money from one of her "friends", ect...always getting into trouble one way or another....I am tired....I can't do it anymore....lying on a daily basis has become her way of life...the turmoil in my life has become too much for me to handle...her bio mother was diagnosed as pathological.....I feel that I have done all I could....I have been married to my husband for 10 years and they have been anything but easy years for us....my step daughter will be an adult when she completes high school..all the counselors and psychologists have told us the same thing...they cannot help her unless she wants to help herself...

please everyone stop feeling guilty.....know that you do all you can to help your loved ones.....they have got to help themselves!!

anon25209
Post 71

My 9 year old daughter is a pathological liar!!! She lies to get things the way she wants them to be. She gets very angry if you tell her no. She shoved her brother Friday morning forcing him to fall to the floor (he weighs half of what she does) and I knocked her out of the way to get to him (not hard, just shoved her aside) and she went to school and told them she was scared to come home!! CYS came to my house and wanted to remove her from the home because I physically assaulted her.. she told them I tried to strangle her.. OMG I don't even think when the weekend is over I want her to come back.. this is not the first time she has lied nor will it be the last.. I am sure of it..

anon24918
Post 70

I think we let liars off way too easily. My mother in law is a terrible liar, but she never lies about other people. It is only her that she lies about. She has hated me from day one and has done everything in her power to break me and my (now) husband up. But she never made up anything- she may have over-dramatized something or exaggerated, but as someone who does not mind lying, you would have thought she would just have told him something really bad about me and be done with it. This leads me to believe she knows exactly what she is doing and the consequences that can come with falsehoods. I have no doubt that she does have bi-polar disorder or narcissistic disorder, yet she knows not to spread lies about others!!! She has no problem telling people that she found out her real mother was Natalie Wood, that she bought a bar (which the current owner states she is leasing!). For my wedding, she told me that she personally knew the governor and that his private jet was going to pick us up after the reception and take us to a private island. Amazing! And for years we would just pretend like nothing was going on. Luckily, my husband finally has enough and we have spend the last 5 years living peacefully without her.

anon23910
Post 69

Much of this reminds me of my wife. The first true whopper she told me was she dated an ex professional baseball player. This was even before we were married how stupid could I have been to not have figured out she was a pathological liar just from that?

This stemmed from me telling her I'm a huge baseball fan. Along the line she claimed to be on a first name basis with some other baseball players, including Mike Matheny. Well I can tell you 3 and a half years later Mike sure hasn't stopped by for coffee.

She told me when we first met she had her tubes tied. Later she told me that it was botched and she could have kids and was pregnant with my child. I heard that several times over the years. According to her family and bits and pieces she admitted over time, she actually had a partial hysterectomy. For all intents and purposes, she has no uterus.

She told me that she witnessed a woman fall asleep at the wheel and roll her car in front of her. She valiantly tried to save her to no avail. Of course, I checked the Highway Patrol records for that day. It never happened.

Everybody fibs. Everybody will lie to save their skin, sometimes you have to. But obviously when somebody lies for no reason other than to impress or gain sympathy, well, I'm sorry to say that person has a problem that may be every bit as serious as schizophrenia or many other medical problems.

anon23737
Post 68

As a sister and God mother to my sister's oldest daughter, I am looking for help to understand what I am witnessing in my family. Maybe it would help to just talk. It starts with my sister has had a jealously for me all my life. I am 6yrs younger and growing up with this was difficult to grasp. I would go overboard trying to get her to like & love me. As I grew up I just let it go, in defeat. Others say she loves me so much she wants to be me. It boggles my mind why we cannot be close friends then. When she became a mother, she honored me with being Godmother. When my Goddaughter was 1yr my sister gave birth to her 2nd daughter. This youngest daughter was sadly born with developmental delays. Guilt was tossed around a lot about that. At 8 and 9yrs old their father left my sister and them. He pleaded for help from family, Pastor's and therapy....for 4yrs before he left. He is not w/o his own issues and 3DUIs as a result. But he still w/o court order or official divorce supports the family house/bills. He says he just can't live with my sister. Cut to today, my nieces are 13 and 14. My Goddaughter has is telling fantastic lies like my sister now. She is angry frustrated alienating and running away. My sister bought her a fake engagement ring at dept store. My Goddaughter wears the ring telling school mates she is engaged to an 18yr old who lives 4 states away. In part true, she is in love. But they are not engaged. Now as HS goes, rumor is she is pregnant. She isn't as they have no contact other then text messages. My point is, my sister would tell fantastic lies and believe them herself. She brainwashes my Goddaughter by telling 'tales'. About everyone in the family, how we beat her, locked her up, wouldn't feed her. That my father drowned her cats in front of her. How she wanted to ride horses but my parents wouldn't let her. Instead, they made her sit in the bleachers and watch ME ride. I can't go on, because it upsets me to repeat. Recently, she felt she lost my Goddaughter at a family picnic. When she found her she lied and said that I said I smelled booze on her. My goddaughter came to me with a balled up fist to my face as I sat in a chair none the wiser.

Now my sister says she does not remember any of that. My Goddaughter is so confused between us, that i stepped away. I am blown away at some of the 'tales'. I'm frustrated I brought my sister to therapy and she quit when they started asking her to read certain books for help. Before meeting this kid at 4h she fell in love with, my Goddaughter was out on their roof threatening suicide. Now she thinks this guy across the states is her only lifeline. He is going to take her away from all us who hate her and think she is stupid, she says. There is no reasoning with her that her emotions are from 'tales'. I am 44 and my sister is 50. I financially supported them to pursue hobbies and interests. I was thinking sports and pursuit of their own happiness would help dissipate frustrations. Soccer, Horses, Dance, Track, snowboarding, cell phones. My GodDaughter did not go w/o. She went with me to colleges and I supported summer pursuits as vet assist she wanted to be. One day, she texted me to say that I was not her family. That she has a family and I am not in it. It came from another 'tale' from my sister. And I cannot reason with my Goddaughter now at 14 and in love and running away. I don't lecture, I listen. Our conversations are short and in the midst of playing on the mountain snowboarding together. I am in pain like a whole in my soul. The lies continue and they have isolated themselves with the thoughts that they are not loved and that family is out to hurt them. My niece/Goddaughter is so confused and angry and from a distant now I let her I know I'm still here but giving her space. It's like watching a life be snuffed out and you can't reach them. I'm torn up seeing the desperate/angry look in this child's eyes. God speed she grows thru this and finds her way. We spent years together before she reached teens. I can only hope one day she gains perspective amidst the chaos she & sister perpetuate. People cannot be helped, until, they are willing to help themselves. Patiently waiting for this moment...is painful for those in witness of self destruction. Reach out, hands are there for you.

anon23733
Post 67

I am devastated. I have been seeing a woman for 4 1/2 years. We met before she could obtain her divorce papers and force her husband out of the apartment who was abusive and a liar. So she was lying to him every night for months about her whereabouts to not inflame the situation. I thought I was the exception and that this was temporary. It turns out that she began lying to me as well: for example about the divorce really happening as fast. Now, years later she is actually divorced finally. But along the way she lied.

For example, right before she served him, but after she had broken the news that she was leaving, they were supposedly living in 2 apartments joined together. She said she slept in a separate room etc. One day, she took her kids to Mexico. She promised for months that this trip was without him saying "Are you kidding? I would never go with him" At the gate, she called me and sounded strained. I asked if he was there as my heart raced. She said "Are you crazy? I would never do that to you. Of course he's not here. Oh, I have to go." I asked "Call me from your seat on the plane as you always do." She said "It's going to be hard..." She texted me. I felt sick to my stomach. I tracked things down and proved her husband was with her. I pulled over on the road and got sick from shock. When I called her in Mexico, even though he picked up the hotel room phone (which she never gave me) she STILL denied he was there. It was sick.

This is a very intelligent woman, with 2 kids, who can fool anyone that she's normal. At least for a while. My family was fooled. Yet in retrospect, she seems to lose friends somehow. I was devastated about the lie, and also that they went together. She said they slept in 2 different rooms and that she went because she didn't want him with her kids alone without her and the legal issues had not been resolved yet.

Then she blamed me for being untrusting and said "I don't want to be with a man who checks up on me. I deserve better. I'm glad I found out who you are..." This is what is so infuriating. She flips everything around to make me feel like I have the problem. It mind-screws a person. She confused me about me! Then she later gave a reason for the lying, saying, "I was afraid of your temper". This woman is really good at this. Well, I don't have a temper any more than the average person. I only expressed my anger she deserved when she lied a few dozen times. She finally called and admitted the Mexico lie. She never really apologized though. So I left her - disgusted and hurt.

Three months later, she called and begged me to take her back. She sounded sorry and normal and very humble. Dating was rough for me and I missed her and having security. Our intimacy was strong and in retrospect, she used it a lot. She knew how to make a man weak with sex, without him knowing he was becoming weak. I resent her for abusing sex this way now. But I was desperate for love after a divorce, in retrospect. If I had been in a position of strength and choice, I would have dumped her. Well, this was 3 years ago. Regrettably, out of forgiveness and hope she would change, and my loving big heart they say I have... I took her back.

Months later, she disappeared for four hours. I got that sick feeling again. I stood outside her apartment building. She got out of a cab all decked out. When I called her a minute later, when she reached her apartment. she actually depicted a groggy, hoarse voice, and went on to elaborately tell me how she's been sleeping for the entire 4 hours, and that she thought we spoke just minutes earlier, and that she "must have been exhausted. The lie became so elaborate that it began to sicken me for her sake. The voice and fake stretching in the bed too. I couldn't believe this was my "love" doing this to me. Then she went on and listed all the names of the people who woke her up, causing her to put the phone on "vibrate" thereby missing my 20 calls worried about her. So - I said "Stop it!" I told her I was outside, and to never call me ever again. She was stunned and quiet.

Like a fool, after a long and compelling text message, I took her back again when she begged months later but warned her. She became better at lying and more careful. She hid me from her family for 4 years and claimed it was because "they were mad at me for leaving her a few times." Only God knows what they know and don't know. She has inappropriate contact with an ex-boyfriend from previous to her ended marriage at midnight, and knowing that seeing him so much and calling hurts me and is disrespectful. She lied about him too saying my temper scared her. Again, my temper was a little raising of the voice and a curse here or there from feeling I was manipulated and used for years. That's not abuse.

I lost my trust in her, and yet she blames me. And strange things constantly occurred, like not calling from a trip to the Caribbean with her kids during the day for a week until a call finally at midnight, claiming she can only talk for a minute and she's exhausted, and hanging up.

She also had the ability to be suddenly ruthless, like a disconnect. It reminds me of her ability to lie. Our biggest issue was this "stranger" thing she would do by pulling her love from me after a few good days, acting like we've been dating a few weeks, saying "Oh, thank you so much..." and formalities like that. She would act cold and say "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Good night..." It always left me feeling powerless. She controlled me for four years. And I was compassionate to her through her whole divorce. It would make a person want to scream from frustration, because you can't force someone to be warm. It was like her memory was gone - OR - I was being manipulated brilliantly. I believe the latter. Why? Because when she needed to be sharp - boy she was sharp. Hence, my deep resentment toward her. I feel used.

Sexually, she also engaged in over-the-top crude speaking during sex, and what should have been "love making" not a scene from a porno movie. This always brought to mind a fear of her fooling around, because it wasn't just dirty talk. It was too "in control" and even cold. One day, in the middle of intimacy, when I left the bed remembering I left the door unlocked, I said, "Sorry baby, I'll be right back." Her answer was disturbing: "You better hurry back or someone else might take your place..." Her mind was in the wrong place in such an intimate, what should be loving place. This is one of many abuses that is somehow connected to the lying, the disconnect and being in control.

Now I wonder who she was sending text messages to as she would be returning from the lades room in restaurants, not expecting me to be at the door. Her computer had a memory in the cache of a user name and password to Match.com. She claimed it was her nanny's log on.

Finally, after more smaller lies, meanness, selfishness, flakiness with plans, and more emotional abuse, it has all has led me to leave her for good this time. It has been hard to do, and to leave the strong physical attraction and seeming security and love (supposedly love -- on her part). Nothing could ever make me accept her again. Was this a pathological liar? Who was this?

Thank God I didn't marry this person. My family and friends are elated that I saved my life from someone who evidently has NO conscience. She played the poor little girl victim, who needed her hero; that is until she was secure with me again and treated me like poorly. Family and friends always felt her lying was twisted. She never really showed interest in my family too and complained about the 3 hours she spent with them in 4 years that 'The day was shot..." This reminds me of the behavior listed above in other testimonies.

I am so devastated about the four years of my life, and deeply resent her. The thought of her deception, known and even unknown, has left me truly damaged, untrusting of people, and frankly still in shock that people can actually do this/ I feel now like I was loving a mirage. After all, if there's nobody's home so to speak - what are you loving? It's like your life becomes vapor.

This is haunting me day and night. It's a nightmare. I wish someone could comment here. I suppose we all need to share, help one another, and eventually heal. I welcome and thank you for any support... New York, NY.

anon23083
Post 66

Oh my god after reading this board I feel there's no hope for my daughter. I divorced my husband 10 years ago due to his pathological lying. My teen daughter was devastated and quite rebellious. But as she got older she witnessed his lying and finally understood why I left him. The sad thing is that I now realize my daughter has the same sickness. Now that she's in her 20's and no longer under my supervision she's quickly spiraling out of control. She is beautiful, funny, has a college degree, and is now dating an ex-con who has been in and out of Jail on felony burglary charges and forgery. She's in debt, lies about her entire life and looks completely anorexic. Maybe she's on drugs, or maybe she's a psychopath. I just dont know as I can't even talk to her. Its heartbreaking.

anon22973
Post 65

I had a boyfriend who I was in love with, who was a pathological liar. I don't blame him and in my mind, I forgave him long ago. I know he didn't lie to hurt me; he was hurting inside.

I always wished, however, I understood what caused him to lie. It really messed up my mind being with someone who lied in such detail and created a fantasy life that I was a part of.

Anyway, all I can think of, is that one day, he told me that when he was a little boy, he got in trouble, even for telling the truth. So, perhaps that is where it stems from.

I don't know, I just think that if pathological liars went to psychoanalytical counseling or something, maybe they would find the root of their problems.

anon22957
Post 64

Hi, I was so impressed to find all these ppl sharing the same problem as mine. Well, I admit that i am a Pathological liar. I've always been, n i'm praying not to stay so in the future. I'm 20 years old, and a senior college student. What made me write this to you guys to read, is bsz we hv things in common. I lied to the ppl i love most: nt only to my family, bt to my best friends.. I told the person i like that i hv stomach cancer, I made up lies abt my therapy, n everything.. But, u wn't believe wt happened,as soon as i told him that was recovering, he broke up wid me :(.. My friends were nicer and very kind to me, when i" was sick". You might be thinking abt hw i convinced them to believe me- well, I was anorexic, and bcz of my weight loss, they believed that i had tht cncer".

After I had recovered, believe or nt, my friends are no longer the friends i knew befr : I now have no friends, I talk to nobody bt myslf.. I feel very sad and lonely.

I tried to tell them the truth, bt i couldn't, cz i know that once they know abt this, they'll treat me worse than the way they do now. I can never tell them the truth.

becz of my "lying habits", I keep avoiding "man stares". I dn't wnt to hv a relationship wid smb, cz i'm afraid to lie to him again..

I make up lies, make ppl believe them, bt the worse is that I myself believed at sm point my lies.It's so hard to explain dat :s

I think the reason fr lying, is dat ppl around me never liked me fr who i am, bt rather fr hw hard-working i am, especially my classmates :(

THis is killing me, I know i cn't get help, bt at least i found gd ears ..

anon22801
Post 62

Lying is something I’ve been researching for quite some time. Fall in love with a perpetual liar and instantly searching and hoping to make sense of such a self-destructive behavior comes to the forefront.

The bottom line is that lying makes victims of other people because something is being taken from them without their consent. Creating victims is certainly an evil pursuit.

Without getting into a philosophy debate the understanding of good and evil along with a healthy spirit are paramount to a happy existence.

I would suggest reading, _People of the Lie_, by M. Scott Peck. Although there are no concrete answers to understanding the motivations for constant lying, it does help to wrap one’s mind around the larger spiritual concepts involved.

anon22485
Post 61

My sister was diagnosed as a pathological liar when she was 18. She is now 50 and worse than ever. According to her, life continually deals her a bad hand; even though she causes her own drama. She lies about everything and hides behind them. For example, she doesn't want anyone to know she drinks like a fish and smokes pot every day so she lies about it. She turns verbally abusive if someone tries to offer help with her lying and substance abuse. Sound familiar? It boils down to her lying seems to be a symptom of a much larger behavioral issue; but she'll never get better because she'd have to face reality first, and I guarantee that won't happen in my lifetime--I am her younger sister.

AnonLie1980
Post 60

I just read the article, and I know that I have been a pathological liar my entire life. I've lost relationships, friends, and jobs due to the uncontrolled lying that I have done.

Just recently I went behind my roommate's back and requested a single-bedroom apartment, only to decide that what I needed was to move back home.

I of course did not tell her, as it seemed more convenient to not say anything and avoid the situation completely. I lost my recent girlfriend as well in the last few weeks, and all of it due to the pattern I have developed as lying seems easier than dealing with things as they are.

I want help. I'm sick of the lies, and tired of always needing to put on a show for others. This is a problem that needs treatment. As I have seen here, this is not a unique problem.

I have always felt the need to lie, and I would rather I was able to stop and just have a regular life.

This has destroyed so much in my life, but I can't stop. It's addictive. It's poisonous. and I want it to be gone. The lies have ruined my life.

anon22209
Post 59

I am a pathological liar. I acknowledge it, but I do not accept it. I tell lies on subjects that nobody cares about to draw attention to myself. I tell lies, both large and small, with no remorse. Biological or not, it is a habit that has snowballed. I am too proud to confront anyone on this subject, so if people ask me about my previous lies, I'll tell them the truth: "I am working to move on in my life and do not wish to speak further on the subject."

I will not, however, allow this to continue any further. Unsure if I ever really thought before I spoke, or felt the need to, I am working hard to catch myself before I lie. I did today--twice! Once, while I was saying the lie, but I finished it, and once, when I started saying it... and I stopped myself! I was hesitant and didn't know what to do, but I told the truth, and felt a little nervous doing so. I'm so used to lying that telling the truth seems so easy it's wrong. But at least I did it. Looking back, I must have lied more than once--I always do, but I have to take this one step at a time.

And I intend to catch myself before I lie from now on! I know it won't be easy, but I will do it. I decide my fate. White matter, bad habits, everything that is working against me cannot hold a flame to my determination. I will overcome this label because I will control what comes out of my mouth.

I am going to college next year with a clean slate, and I intend to keep so... permanently.

anon21637
Post 57

Hello people. I always knew there was something wrong with me. I feel I suffer from some kind of anxiety disorder...I'm also a pathological liar. it started when I was in seventh grade. I lost a lot of friends and boyfriends over this and like most people who have posted, I lie without even realizing it. It's so bad, I want to stop immediately. i hate liars, I'm a hypocrite. I don't like to lie. My life would be much easier if I told the truth.

Perhaps I get bored with life and think that if i make some wacky stuff up, people would find me interesting and funny. I lie about where I'm from, i lie about family members, i've lied about school, AND I've made people up...I have characters lurking in my head that are complete bs. Do I sound insane? That's probably because I am. I need serious help, but I have no idea where to start. I doubt therapy could be the answer. I'm thinking about coming clean to everyone I know. I feel that's the only thing I can do at this point. What I want to do is pretend those characters in my head don't exist. Try my hardest to occupy my time with meaningful things like writing, reading, drawing, things that I love to do. I know deep down that I'm a caring, and passionate human being. I'm still young and I don't want to live with this guilt all the time. It's a horrible disorder and it's sad that there's not stronger treatment or any treatment at all for that matter. My stress has skyrocketed lately due to this nonsense and I need to take action. you are all brave and on the right path by acknowledging your disorder. i think that you can still help yourself if you really wanted to. i wish you all best of luck and hopefully there will be more research in the future to help conquer this terrible affliction.

anon20775
Post 56

After reading this, I have come to thinking that i may be a pathological liar. All i do is lie. To get my way, to get attention, to get sympathy. All different reasons. Usually i lie so much that i start to believe my own lies. I want to stop, but i can't. I want help,but i dont know where to go. The worse part about this is that i am 16 and have been like this since i was about 6 or 10. HELP!!

anon20665
Post 55

I hate what I have become. I am A 18 year old female, I lie constantly. I want and need help badly!!! How do I go about this?

anon20470
Post 54

My friend kayla is a compulsive, pathological liar. She is 15 years old and according to her she has 2 kids and 1 on the way. Well I dont believe she is pregnant or has kids at all for that matter. I really wish I could stop her from lying because when shes not lying shes fun to hang out with. I confronted her today about it and i will admit i was a little mean. What im trying to get at to her is that we (her friends) dont care if her grandma is 133 years old, if shes dated every guy in the school. If her brother has all of these mental disorders, or even if she is pregnant, we don't care! we just want her to be our friend. She doesn't have to make up these lies to impress us. We would still love her even if we found out she was poor and needed help like the rest of us. I just wish someone can tell me what i can say to her to let her know this.

destiny4
Post 53

After i read all of that i think i need to get help i lie like its nothing i lie so much i believe it and its hard to try to stop lying im so use to it everything i say i believe it i want to know how i can get help

anon18364
Post 52

After reading these posts I'm saddened that there is no support, therapy, in-take facility for people suffering from this type of pathology. I'm moved by the comments and can totally identify. My brother is a pathological liar and has suffered from it as far back as I can remember. It started about 4 or 5 years old. Of course, he was not so good at it then. But I believe (at least in his case) it's a progressive disease. He's gotten better and it's gotten worse and now it's taken over his life. It's completely part of his "life narrative" now and I wonder if it's progressed into delusion. He's in really bad shape right now. Sometimes I wonder if it's like a split personality that he battles. One part just can't tell the truth. He will never admit to lying, and never has. He'll just stare back at you like he's been victimized by no one believing him. Mouth slightly open, eyes wide and shocked. You may know the face.

He is also an alcoholic now, so perhaps its progression has gotten worse because of that disease. As an adult he's been taking on other people's memories. For example, he says he suffered from abuse that his wife had suffered from in her childhood. He literally took on her "story and details." It's heartbreaking. His lies used to be tied to making his life look slightly better or sometimes just for no benefit. But now they seem to be more tied to stories of being victimized by others, his family, the world. It's strange because it's like his "lying self" has had its own narrative life arc next to his real life. Does that make sense?

I think this must be one of the most under-studied diseases in the history of diseases. If anyone knows of facilities/ treatment that deals with this please post it!

anon18357
Post 51

I'm 16 years old and I was going out with the same girl for almost two years. We started going out in our freshman year of highschool and everything was smooth for about 9 months. About this time, I noticed I was lying about small things, but thought it was nothing. These small lies eventually snowballed into our breaking up. Even after we're broken up, I can't help my lying. I lie to my parents and have lost too many friends to my lies. How can I get help? I'm afraid to talk to my parents. Who can help me?

anon17656
Post 50

I'm 16 years old and i must say, i am one of the best Pathological liars alive today, now i know that's nothing to brag about but its gotten me pretty far in life, but i do need help, im afraid to tell anyone because i know they wont ever trust me again, but its as if when i do actually tell the truth, no one believes me, so i lie, then people believe me.

anon17342
Post 48

I am a 45 year old male and can relate to almost every post before mine in one way or another. I am the poster child for the habitual or compulsive liar. I have never posted anything on any kind of website. Not sure why I am here but maybe I feel it will release me somehow. People do not realize the torment we go through almost on a daily basis. It's sad to be "alone" at 45, but there is nowhere to look other than the mirror for the reason. I am not sure when I would say I started the process. We all tell white lies as children, but for as long I as remember I would do anything not to look "bad" in the eyes of others. Changing report card grades as a child or covering up things as an adult so not to look weak or vulnerable. I have been to a couple of counseling sessions, but never really saw the benefit. I have lost a wife, children, parents, brother, and friends due to my condition. Recently a relationship with a wonderful woman has all but ended due to it. Most of my lies are based on financial matters. I have stolen, done low things for money and conned people for years. Now I am alone and deserve to be. I consider myself a tough and resilient optimist. Guess we will see.

anon15598
Post 47

I enjoyed your article, because i am not only a pathological liar, but also a compulsive liar. Those of you who accuse us of being bad people have no idea what it's like. I literally can't tell the truth without thinking about it, even when someone asks me things like my name. I say without even thinking a lie, as easily and effortlessly as you say the truth, if i want to tell the truth i have to stop and think, wait, what is my name, ok so that is the truth, i want to say something else, but i have to stop and think, ok i think i will tell the truth, then i have to think it word for word what i am going to say, or i will say a lie. Half the time i don't even know that i am lying until i have all the words out of my mouth. I know my condition is worse than most however, because i have had a brain scan, and i have almost 47% more white matter than the average person. See that last sentence was a lie, i hate that i can't stop myself, but i try. Please all that i ask is that you people try to help and understand us rather than calling us liars and shunning us, we can't help it, it's no different than a paralyzed person, they can't walk no matter how hard they might try. Don't think so bad of us.

anon15227
Post 46

My sister is a pathological liar. She lies about everything big and small. She used to be engaged, and I remember her fiance asking me if there was any history of mental illness in our family as he said that she lies about everything. She fabricated a whole life story about her and got tripped up on her lies. If you catch her on a lie, she flies off the handle with a huge temper, screaming like a teenager, accusing us of not trusting her, etc. She's stolen money from me and has of course lied about it. She's gotten fired from jobs from her lying, and has burned through many friends.

It's a real shame as I really wish I could have a relationship with her as she's my only sibling, but I can't as I can't believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

jjlkjl
Post 45

My mother is the true definition of pathological liar. She will invent all kinds of things from where she graduated high school (even though she just got her 35 year reunion from a different high school)to what she ate for supper. She has lied to my three brothers and i about who our father is even though everyone in my family and the guy she says is my father says he is not our father(and i was old enough to remember all of my brothers fathers) but yet she will make the comment to me while watching a show about paternity, "Oh at least i know and tell my kids who their father is." She has also lied about going to college and getting degrees to make herself sound better, but yet if you ask to see them she replies "oh.. they are in the basement somewhere." When my mother is caught in a lie she will still insist she is correct. Now it is starting to get worse because she is stating that other people in our family are mistreating my children even though i know for a fact they are not, and she is also stating that her mother and sisters are all not related. please tell me what i can do...she is driving me insane!

anon13595
Post 44

I am a 24 year old gay guy who recently had my first relationship, EVER. He was great from the start but I always knew that something was a little “off”. A lot of what seemed to be fabricated stories and lies. Constantly, about everything. At first he was a model who does much work for modeling but is also a security guard. He has one paper ad in a Tip Top store, but apparently he had done many shows and had met every celebrity, and some had complemented or took attention to him. He would lie about everything, just everything. From the type of shoe, to what he had owned, the experiences in his life, jobs, school, stories, everything.

Anyway, I ignored it at first, but I did not know the severity of this problem. I had brought the issue up to him along with other issues, I like to talk to him in a calm way and help him as much as I can, but it seemed like every time an issue is raised he turns it around and somehow I’m in the wrong and I end up apologizing.

Eight months after we became exclusive, I had to end it. I knew that I did not want to deal with it. Although we were “broken up” I had not been with anyone else, and we were pretty much still a couple without the title. Sometimes he tells his friends that we’re together and other times they don’t know he’s gay. There was not one story that he had stuck with.

He would call me in much excitement to tell me about something. It would seem as though he sat there thought it all out eventually getting really excited and then calling me. For example the time the producers of the Kirdashians show called him regarding a meeting to talk about the prospects of a reality TV show of him and his family. Or when he was supposed to meet with L’Oreal to discuss his product. Yet when I asked him about the Kirdashians, he said the meeting was delayed until next week, I never brought it up again.

One day, not too long ago, he spent the night at my place, it was only my brother, him and I who had slept in the apartment. In the morning when I woke up, I realized he was gone. Later on that day my brother discovered that his chain, pendant and ring were missing from the same place he leaves the items every night, and the same place he had placed them then night before. I mean I cannot prove it put the pieces of the puzzle fit. Another incident so silly, it was cream; I will not go into detail but again another puzzle that fits. And about two weeks ago, he stole a ring off the finger of my best friend when she was very drunk, but could clearly remember him doing it (she could not move, or speak….bad drinking night).

I brought this to his attention, he admitted that yes sometime he embellishes and lies but gave the reason that he has always had to lie to his family and it became a habit. But a thief he was not. My best friend who would never lie to me, and never has. So when she told me I was certain that it had happened. He denied it and at the moment we are not speaking but I sent him the link to this site.

I love him very much and would do anything to help him, but if he doesn’t want the help then I have to let go. I have been distant and had only spoken to him twice in the past week which is weird. No texting or anything, which is also weird. But I feel horrible. I want to be there for him because I know when it comes down to it he doesn’t have many friends that can help. He is already lying to people about me, and making me seem like a horrible person.

And yes stupidly I still love him.

How can I help?

anon13354
Post 43

One important note ...

Although those with autism may not be able to lie, those with autism spectrum disorders may lie pathologically. For instance, those with Asperger's Syndrome may have a tremendous ability to fabricate very complex and convincing lies. They may also have a lack of interest in the consequences of their lying.

Another note ...

Besides OCD, ADHD, AsPD, and Asperger's, Bipolar Disorder may also lead to pathological lying. This often starts as a series of excuses to try to explain away the Bipolar "emotional rollercoaster" and the difficulty or inability to keep commitments and maintain relationships. Especially in those with Bipolar 1, this may lead to patterned and habitual lying where the lying never ceases (pathological lying).

I'm sure that even this expanded list is not a comprehensive list of causes of pathological lying. It can be dismaying when a family member or friend is lying continually, but using a process of elimination based on an incomplete list of possible causal factors may lead to an erroneous diagnosis. Please be careful!

anon13303
Post 42

I have been teaching for 25 years and was shocked when an 8 year old student of mine told me that she had been eating dog food, her father (who I met) had died, and her brother had hurt her (she had no bruises or cuts). When called on this, she politely denied that she had EVER said anything like that. Fortunately (in this day of lawsuits), she said many of those things in front of others. When I told her I would get the others who were around, she said that she was only joking. In one of those instances, she was in tears! We only have a few days left of this school year and she will be in another's classroom. I'm at a loss!!

lostinbama
Post 41

I have come to realize that im a compulsive liar. I lie to make my husband and family happy. I am on the verge of divorce and that is the last thing that i wanted but he just can't go through it anymore. Although I understand it doesnt make it any easier to loose him, but then again he doesnt deserve to live with someone like me. Neither does the kids. I feel like I am all alone most of the time with no one to talk to because I feel if i tell him the truth i will be letting him down yet again and i don't want to do that. I really think this time I have really lost him and there is no getting him back. I have called a couple of therapist here local and they all sound like I'm crazy and that lying is not something that they could help me with? I thought that was their job but i guess not so right now im at a loss on where to go from here. I feel like if he leaves me what will be the reason or purpose for me getting help anyway. I just want to stop but can't do it alone....Is there any help out there for me???

anon11658
Post 40

Hello!! I believe I've fallen into this awful habit of lying. Its a terrible disease of the mind not to tell the truth, just yesterday I was visiting the Cemetery and I caught up in some chit chat with a complete stranger; I could see that I was lying (only a few facts) but I went ahead with my fibs-why? Because 1/ I wanted to protect myself from my spiritual work I do and 2/ To feel prideful!! Geeez I'm worthless in the eyes of God!!

Today- I want to make a stop because lying and I don't believe that people whom lie cannot put an end to this habit!! It is possible to stop - but you have to want it/ you have to say enough is enough!!! I've got to change!!!

My issue with lying in fact is to protect myself- as a large part of my life I've wasted out of fear, illness and basically stupidity!! So now I'm confronted to hide behind my lies!! Other than that I want to project towards other people to like me, to reveal some goodness but to feel important and for this I do the most stupidest thing- I mix truth with lies!! And you know after I lie- I go home and I feel yuck!! So yes legitimately I want to change!! I want to someday have a relationship with a guy- but I can't start lying to him- ruining a life together!! I've read so many of other people's articles on here and you know what- geez it hurts to see such a waste of life together when someone lies to you and constantly lies!! What a waste of life!!

My Pa is a pathological liar, so yes its been part of the family, growing up in an environment where lying is considered okay.

A few years back I got in trouble with the police over an incident from fabricating the truth. I was really glad to see that I came clean before the law, but it didn't stop me from making up imaginary little stories here and there to people. I do worry, even today I have had to stop lying to my mom as I had a break before. And here while writing this article- I stopped, review and erased a part of it- and started a fresh- to want to change- means- sit down, by yourself- examine your heart, see your faults and then taking baby steps when the feeling approaches and ya going to lie- stop !! My plan is, when I talk to some one from now on and I start lying about anything in the conversation- I will stop- I will embarrass myself by 'talking to myself' reminding me stop lying- apologise and then and only then say the truth!!!

Its the only way to kick this stupid habit of lying!!! How I see it is if a person truthfully wants to make an impact in his/hers lives- no medical attention can help, no books or therapy can help- don't waste money on fads!! If ya truly want to change- then you have to help yourself!! I sure will!! Look, its hard in the beginning- I admit it- but then everything is hard the first time around!! Even openly sharing this secret side of me to the world is in fact the hardest- despite I remain anonymous- for me its hard to reveal my disease of my mind- by being a stupid liar!! But I do it- because I'm proving to myself first of all that I mean I want to change but also I'm proving to you all that it is possible to make a new start- its possible to fix something in your life that is wrong!! But you have to seriously want to make the change!!!

I want people to judge me- so I can see my faults, I want people to say what a lying man- so I can feel the hurt that I've created to acknowledge the pain and to change!!! Its not going to get me in to heaven- lies are the devil's friend and I certainly do not want to be the devil's companion for in him there is no life!!!

Coconutbill
Post 39

My boyfriend is a pathological liar, and we've been living together for 14 months since we dated. He's 28 and is a very talented musician. At the beginning of our relationship, I had strangers and people I don't know much come to me and tell me to watch out for him because he's a thief and a compulsive liar. I didn't believe it completely but I wondered why people would say that about him. I asked him a few times if he knew those people, he told me he was going out with a girl that was very jealous of him and she had decided to destroy him. As soon as he moved in to my apartment where I lived with my 2 roommates, I started to have money missing from my wallet all the time, within a month, I lost more than $2,000 worth of money and foreign currency. During that time, he always said that he was looking for a job and that he's very busy at home making music because he was signed by a local music label and he was djing at many places. My roommates and I decided that was him who stole the money and we asked him to leave. It was a very cold winter, he was homeless and had nothing with him at all that time, because when we met he was kind of homeless and on the street when it's -30C outside. I did some research on him and found out that his mother brought him to a psychiatric hospital for help and the doctor said he was a mythomaniac. He would lied about just everything, about the abuse from his family, his education, where he was working, what happened to people he knew and even the things he ate during the day. The people were real, but nothing he said about them was true. At first, I came to realization that it could be money problems that made him lie, but I found out he would just lie about anything. He is a very very intelligent person, and he reads a lot about everything, he's simply a very interesting person. We knew it was him who stole the money but we forgave him and had him moved back with us while he still denied everything. We loved each other very much, but I had a lot of hard time believing anything he said, and he just wouldn't go get a job. Beside, I'm a student but I had to pay rent and food for 2 people, and on top of that he was stealing from me. I tried to tell him many times to get help and I would judge him if he admitted what he had done, but he denied everything. He then made up a fake document and report to make me believe that my roommates were stealing from me, I didn't buy that but I decided to move out together because I started to see my roommates were not happy with him being there. I lost all my friends, because they all knew about him and wanted me to stay away from him. But I decided to help him to move away so no one would judge him, so he could heal. After we moved 2 weeks later, I started to have my money and belongings stolen, some of which were something very very sentimental to me. Again, he denied everything. Later, I started to find empty bags of cocaine at home, as many as 55 bags of it. I asked him if he was doing drugs, he denied it. I was thinking that time, 'you can't force someone to admit something if he doesn't admit it and I thought that he needed help rather than being kicked out.' He was continuously lying about everything, and everything he lied about had so many details. He then started to say something very damaging about people he knows in front of me, including that his father raped his little brother repeatedly when he was a little boy, one of his best friend was dying from AIDS, his uncle had a prostitute addiction and his mother was bankrupted and owed him a lot of money! He even lied about things I know is not true in front of my friends. He seemed to have a lot of love for me and I could feel that, but he made me suffer a lot, mentally and financially, that I was thinking I needed to help myself. He started to steal checks from me and pretended I wrote him the checks and he would give the checks to people I know, and told them to cash it for them. Surprisingly, people did it for him, because they saw the checks were in my name. He even gave the checks to my landlord to be cashed. He cleared my account and I had no money to pay for my tuition fees and all my courses were dropped. So, I told him I needed to call my father to help me with the tuition fees that month. He stopped me and said he hoped that he was the one who saved me from trouble. All I told him was not to give me trouble again and that he needed professional help. All he said was if he agreed to get help, he wanted me to come every single session with him, otherwise he won't go. I agreed but he never got help. When I found out about the stolen checks (Now, he had borrowed and stole $21,000) It's crazy that I allowed him to do that to me. I called the police and they said they couldn't do anything because he lived with me. I asked him to leave, and a week later he told me he asked his father was going to bring him to a local rehab for people who have compulsive behaviors (including drugs and lies) He asked me to go with him again, I agreed but at the end he refused to bring me because he said he was ashamed of what he did. He moved back and started to lie, even more than before and even more serious, because at this time, when i caught him lying and stealing from my wallet, he would say that I must be tired and saw something wrong. And during this time, he really did quit his drug use. I don't know what to do with him, because I consider that he's my family member since I have no one in this country and sometimes I was convinced that he did that on purpose to lie to people to get pleasure from it, because it was hard to believe that he didn't enjoy the process. Now he is outside again, homeless, and this time he was honest to me for the first time in his life that he is not capable of handling a job, because he can't stop stealing from and lying to everyone, he said his head was always busy and wished that I could live in his head for one minute so I'd know how it felt to be a pathological liar. I tried everything, now he said all he wanted to be cured, and before he is cured he doesn't want to live with anyone or come back, but no psychiatric institute takes him as a live-in patient, because to them a lying disease it's not as grave as mental disease which you can diagnosed with. Although he is a great musician, he said he has very low self-esteem and he felt he was nothing that why he had to lie. And it had started when he was a little boy! What can he do to change? He's in constant pain.

Ondredea
Post 38

I'm 23 and have finally come to accept, with therapy, that I'm a pathological liar. For pathological liars, lying is a compulsion. I'm not proud that I am what I am, but I know enough about it to at least understand my problem and try to address it.

Just up and deciding that "Not Lying" is The Way is almost impossible without other supportive therapy. In my case, a lie about something will either a.) exit my mouth without me realizing it and I feel terrible about it later; or b.) jump into my mind and stay. I'll obsess about it. It will distract me. It'll grow and become more realistic and believable until I finally let it out and lie to someone. I've gotten to a point where I keep a journal of "Lies I Said/Didn't Say" that sort of serves as an outlet for my compulsion. It's not perfect, but it helps in a way.

I personally hate the fact that I lie all the time. It causes me to doubt myself and have poor self-worth. I've begun behavioral therapy where I internally ask myself if what I'm saying is true every time I speak. It makes for broken conversation sometimes, and when I'm in a fast-paced situation I find that I tend to slip back into old habits, but I'm still in progress.

For OCD sufferers, it's important to try to cultivate a compulsion to internally count to three and ask yourself if you're telling the truth before you speak. It's been working for me -- I'm a little obsessive about counting anyway, so if I can cultivate a compulsion I already have to serve as a therapy tool, all the better.

Looking it up on the internet is a good start, and I congratulate you for making this first step.

For parents who think their kids are pathological liars:

Please, please look at yourself critically first. Do you lie? Frequently? What example are you setting for your kids? Don't be so quick to assume that your little exaggerations go unnoticed. I've been in therapy for a while and have come to realize that all the "little lies" my parents told my entire life painted a picture of acceptance for my siblings and I. Many parents are very quick to say that their kids are liars, but never ever think to investigate where they learned it.

Sadly, most parents reading this who have this problem are going to say "Oh, not me!" and never get the hint. Please, please seek therapy. Or if you refuse to acknowledge the problem, shell out the cash for your child to seek therapy. This is a very serious problem that can affect their lives forever.

Now... I'm going back over and re-reading this post three times to make sure I didn't lie, stretch the truth, or make up anything to support my argument. Unfortunately, when you start a post with "I'm a pathological liar" people tend to not believe what you say. It comes with the territory, which is why it's so important to get help as soon as you realize you have a problem.

anon10891
Post 37

I have read all the posts before, and for the first time I feel I am not alone in this situation: I am 20 think my boyfriend of 2 years (we were actually engaged, but i broke up the engagement now because of this issue) is a pathological liar, combined with an antisocial personality disorder. He's 28 and he is lying about just everything, to me and to people, to his friends and my friends... It took me a while to figure it out, because I'm French, living in France, and he is American, and never went back there for the whole time we have been together: I don't know his family or anything about his life in the States, he gave me different versions for different events, he was supposedly in the military, he's had issues with the law, he lived all over the states..The only certainty I have is that I figured out his email password. He lied about his family background, about his marriage (still don't have the proof that he is actually divorced). He goes online and creates tales about who he is on chat boards (including flirting with girls pretending to be someone he's not); He lies on the professional level as well, his resume is a total scam, for example for two years he told me he went to culinary school, as he is a chef and an engineer...recently he confessed to me he never studied culinary arts, even though i can tell he's really gifted for that and worked as a chef on yachts here in europe. I have to double-check everything he says, asking friends, searching his stuff, I feel this is really affecting my mental condition as well, he makes me lie to my friends so i don't burn him, I lost friends over that during those two years, and I have had issues with my family that I didnt have before.. I find myself lying more and more to him and to my family to avoid the fights, whenever I choose confrontation, it never ends well.

I finally left him a month ago, but then he wouldn't let me go, cried, he was "more real" than eh ever was (that's when he told me about the culinary studies... which i kind of suspected to some extent), but i still caught him lying to my face, even though he was making efforts... Now it's starting to be exactly how it was before i left, and I refuse that, but at the same time, I don't want to leave him, I love him, and he has nobody but me, as everybody ends up hating me because of his lies, his reckless behavior + he has no respect of others, basically no sense of "right or wrong" (which is why I said at first he also has anti-social personality disorder)

We discussed his issues, and he said he'll see a doctor if i see one myself (which isn't a problem, maybe it'd help me to deal with him) and if I find one here that speaks english.. But even that I'm not sure i can believe, plus being a student there's no way I can afford to pay for his therapy at the moment, but I am really willing to do it!!

I have been wondering for a long time if I should try to contact his family or not... I managed to get his sister's number without him knowing it, but they haven't seen each other for years... I don't know if they'd believe me, after all I'm a perfect stranger (they don't know about me), but at the same time reading all the posts before I find that this disease is always related to family or had affected the family at some point, so maybe I should get in touch with them...please if anybody related to a pathological liar could answer my question about that it would help me a lot!!

Also, I wanted to tell the people that think they are pathological liars and wrote on the site... Don't be afraid to tell the truth to the people you love, no matter how hurt you've been before..I can't imagine how much it'd change my life if my boyfriend opened-up for good, and I know I wouldn't judge him or think less of him if I knew who he really is, it's his lies that make me think less of him!!!People that really love you love you for who you are, not for what you supposedly accomplished, or what you've been through, and they probably suffer from the situation as well.

anon10636
Post 36

I'm a 15 years girl. I feel i'm a mad liar i always have something new to say about my life and i cannot erase from my mind that what i said was a lie. I strongly believe in what i say.

Can anyone help me please!!!!

anon10597
Post 35

I have a horrible tendency of compulsively lying, sometimes without even realising it. I lie about things that don't even matter half of the time, to people who I don't care about, and to people I would die for. I've been trying to make up with my ex-girlfriend, and my lying has gotten in the way of that. We got in a huge argument today because of something I lied about, and it wasn't what I lied about, it was the fact that I lied about it. It's completely destroyed what's left of the amazing relationship we had before.

glass0ni0n
Post 34

Hello to anyone listening.. My name is Carly and I'm 24. I came online to seek help for compulsive lying because I have recently come to terms with the fact that that's what I am. I lie about the silliest things for no reason at all. ie: I was driving the other day with a friend and glanced over and saw a grill brush sitting on a chair and the thought popped in my head to say "Look at those cats cuddling on the chair!" I didn't say it, knew it was insane and ridiculous but it was at that moment I realized there is something very wrong. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. I guess I was just getting away with it but now my lies are starting to hurt innocent people and I'm just so frightened that I won't be able to stop it. Someone help? I'm ready to get over this so I can start a life for myself.

ninajana
Post 33

hi, i think i am a pathological liar.

I suffer from depression and i possibly have a mild case of O.C.D. and i can not help but lie to the nice, wonderful and supportive people around me.

I hate that i do it yet i can not control it.

I am told that my father also has this problem yet he would deny this.

I am almost 18 years old, this is not normal!

I am a very emotional person due to depression (i lost my mum 2 years ago) and i think i do it to fit in to school i've just recently changed schools and i don\'t exactly fit in.

I feel so isolated and i feel like crying all the time. The lying is one extra problem i have which i don\'t need.

What should i do??

HELP!

anon9881
Post 32

I think I am a pathological liar. I am 19 years old and I lie constantly. At first, I thought it was compulsive, but I know when I am lying. I also find myself lying to gain sympathy and attention. I hate myself. I lie about my health, the health of my brothers, horrible things that have supposedly happened to me. In middle school I was diagnosed with ADD. I read in several articles that ADD is linked with pathological lying. Is there any medical treatment?

The boyfriend I currently have means so much to me, he is the greatest thing in my life, but I know if I come clean I will lose him, and all of my friends and family. I don't know what to do.

I have decided the best course of action is to promise that I will not lie from this day forward. I'm hoping that I can break this horrible habit and move forward with my life as an honest person. I wish everyone good luck with their endevours with this unpleasant matter.

iam1
Post 31

I can't believe I'm going this. I am a pathological liar. I lied last night and said that I had seen my friends boyfriend in my room trying on my clothes. I'm so afraid that I'm going to get caught in my lies all the time. I've even gone so far to lie about being raped. I wasn't. I hate this and have to change or I'm going to be all alone. I'm almost there. I'm scared and embarrassed, I don't know where to start. I guess this is a start? I'm also an addict.

anon9454
Post 30

I was a compulsive liar as a child and young adult. In general, I couldn't tell the truth because I didn't recognize it; the truth didn't mean anything to me. Instead, there was a proper way to "interpret" everything and that was whatever made me seem more virtuous and interesting. My fear of the truth was not only that I wouldn't be loved if it were told. It was that I wouldn't exist.

My sister and I had been severely beaten when were very young so I agree with the comment above that compulsive lying can occur where there has been violence. Fear for your own life or a loved one's will make you believe and say whatever you think is necessary to get by, to get recognition or approval, or to avoid further victimization.

It's hard to look back at the things I once told people. I exaggerated and sometimes made up accomplishments and activities. I made up stories about my victimization that substituted for the things I could barely remember or had been strictly prohibited from telling. I was always looking either for applause or for a hero to save me from terrible memories.

It took me years to realize that I was lying, and to detect and make a habit of telling the truth. From the moment I first left home to attend college, I began keeping a journal. I remember how terrified I was that someone would find it and punish me for saying whatever was in it. I sometimes used code and other times embellished to hide the truth, especially the emotional pain I was revealing.

But over time, many years, in fact, I grew more able to detect and write about the truth. I discovered especially how painful my childhood had been at nearly every turn and how disturbed my family life had been. I received some counseling and studied up on mental illness.

I'm now 52 and it has been a long road to recovery from pathological lying. I still find myself exaggerating a little in stressful situations. When I realize this, I go home and write out the truth as nearly as I can. I'm determined that nothing in my journal, at least, shall ever be anything but the truth as best as I can tell it. This, and a loving, supportive husband, have enabled me to achieve good mental health.

Compulsive lying can be infuriating in others but I think there is often fear, loss and pain behind those lies.

kfoggy
Post 29

to ANON3729, Is it possible your wife has a gambling or shopping problem ? Lies to cover up doesn't mean she is pathological.

Addicts are master manipulators and liars. I think they are actually easier to treat than pathological. Good luck.

To those who admit they are pathological liars: What happens when friends and family decide you are more trouble than you're worth and cut you off ? Does that make you want to get help or just find new friends ? I guess I want to know is the payoff the short time you have someone's attention while telling the lie worth the fallout later ?

anon9412
Post 28

Most of the people who are liars come from homes where Violence at an early age occurs. It becomes a coping mechanism. When you have your self esteem, or feel unloved by your parents, you act out in ways that you think will endear you to other people. To be interesting to other people when your family is distant, removed or abusive.

You can break the cycle, but it's a minute to minute, day to day effort that will take you years to get over. For the parents on this site who are complaining about their kids, you should probably take a look at what you're doing or how you're acting towards your children.

For the Adults on this site who have their own problems, know that lying is a conscious decision. It truly is, and to stop, you merely need to be honest with yourself about your issues, and grow up.

Not everyone in the world is going to like you, let alone love you. It's a hard fact that pathological liars never learn. It comes from having family that does not love or like them. I would know, I grew up in that environment, and know first hand what it's like to have to make up stories to explain away marks, bruises and the like. It then spreads to other things, where your self worth and self-esteem is concerned.

You desperately crave acceptance because you never had it before. Especially in peer situations. You have no idea what kind of damage unavailable parents can do. People say it's genetic, it's not. You could have a head full of white matter and never have a problem with lying. It's nearly purely environmental as your brain adapts and changes per your environment.

You want to stop your kids from lying? Try being a real parent that doesn't explode, or freak out over every little thing. Try being available to your kids, and actually act like you want to be around them. That more than any thing else will help.

kfoggy
Post 27

I keep reading that pathological lying is lies that serve no purpose other than to impress or gain sympathy.

I had a friend that moved to LA and every time I would mention a celebrity - she not only met him but he flirted with her or asked her out but she of course wasn't interested and turned them down.

She was John Rzeznick's "girlfriend" for years but I never got a photo of them. All her photos were on her computer when it crashed. Paparazzi photos would show the singer from the Goo Goo Dolls with another woman and when brought up she said that other woman was his ex but she threatened to slash her wrists if he didn't take her to such and such event.

I'd write her just use your cell phone camera, oh ok but never sent anything of course and just pretend like that conversation never happened. The celebrity stories go on and on and on.

She was invited to party at so and so house, had dinner with this one, that one. I started throwing out names and for each one she has a story. It is so sad to have such low self esteem that you have to invent someone else to be.

I hope she gets professional help but has to admit to the problem first which I doubt will happen.

anon8623
Post 26

I think my husband of 35 years is a pathological liar. The first twenty years were actually pretty good. There were only a couple of scrapes that he did. He went out forged my name (he's done a lot of that) and got a loan for 8,000. He never told me why. I wound up paying that off by going to work full time sales and putting my every dollar to the debt. After that there were smaller things but it seemed like whenever he couldn't make a decision trouble would follow. He claims that he only procrastinates and everybody does.

I am disabled and I am pretty sure the lack of wellness in my life is attributed to stress. He refuses to help me in any way. The first years he wouldn't even believe I was sick.

I guess the reason I didn't see it earlier, is that I did suspect, but I was young, uneducated with three little children,(married 18) so I made a choice that at least he was a good father. (Now after him revealing that our whole lives was a sham, that is debatable) And at least he could provide for us. But over the years his "mistakes" just kept getting bigger. I receive disability but use every penny each month on my required health needs. He'd choose to think that I don't need a thing. I have asked in 32 different ways. He usually doesn't tell me no, he may even suggest something, but then he will just refuse to follow through. From the biggest to the smallest he simply does not consider me. I don't know if you can tell what a profound statement that is. I tried to give up most everything when I got sick, determined not to burden anyone. If per chance I didn't have a chance to give it up, he found a way to take it. I don't think I've ever met anyone with this level of arrogance. His every comment to me is snide and he cusses me under his breath just below hearing level.

A few years ago, I was told I would not live much past six months. The man never flinched. Stone cold. He's never mentioned it since except to say "doctors don't know anything." Surely he must wonder what kind of horrible disease would cause that? Nope, not interested.

I do not see anyone. Period. Okay, I see one doctor per month. The UPS many doesn't even stop anymore, just drops the package and runs.

Just like this article I could see him. He freely admits to his faults, but so what? I cannot finish a sentence without him scrambling to find something to lay on me. This is where I don't know if others are similar. When I catch him at a lie, I am usually shocked because the subject of the lie is such that it wasn't necessary. It's not like he robbed a bank. It usually does have to do with finances. His words "I've never had to budget in my whole life, I'm not about to start now." But if you asked him he could manage this blessing considering most people do try to manage their finances, he will hedge and shuffle and will eventually admit that I was always called upon to bail him out when he found himself against a wall...I didn't expect "gratitude" per say, but I did expect for efforts to try and have a good marriage. The optimal word here is try. He admits that he doesn't try, he doesn't want to try and he doesn't have to try. Period.

Why am I still here if I am subjected to this "poor treatment" on a regular basis? Many reasons, one being that I do love him, as I remember the way he was when we married. Most of the things that he does are so bizarre and make no sense whatsoever, that I have a hard time accepting what I'm facing. I remember once a doctor asked to see me alone. She told me that she had the opportunity to speak with my husband earlier and she wanted to tell me that if I didn't get out now, he would wind up killing me."

I smiled and told her that we had just recently gotten back together after he had abandoned me earlier and that we were praying together and I was sure that prayer would be the answer.

I have never been someone who dwelled on the past,

"If the offending act happened before today, then it was in the past and I should just let the past go."

I am the spouse, if I am to never be given any consideration, that he doesn't even try to make his excuses relevant.

Let us say they came to shut the water off because of no payment. He get home and I tell him what happened. I'm somewhat upset but am restrained. But he lashes out. " They can't do that because they haven't sent me a third notice yet and they have to do that." I said, "the bill is due when you get the first notice." He angrily disagrees that his bill is due after they've threatened him three times.

It just doesn't make sense.

Oh, if he doesn't receive a W2 in the mail at the end of the year. He doesn't believe he owes taxes. Because I get social security I only get the total at the end of the year. During other discussion he had told me that he was filing taxes like he had aways done. I wrongly assumed that meant he was filing married. Wrong. He considered that he would file married but not claim my income because he didn't have it in hand.

But the time the IRS got through with the penalties, I can't even begin to describe.

He will swear he not lying. Up and down the flag pole he will stop at nothing to make sure I know that he is not lying. This declaration usually preceeds me finding out about another lie. I believe that I became ill because of the consistent torture over the years of always not knowing when the next shoe would drop. I kept it secret for so long because I wanted my kids to have a father's love.

He abandoned his mother and siblings when he was just over 30 years old. He never explained to them why. I don't even know. He abandoned me in another city and moved back home. while I was selling the home, he refused to get a phone put in the apt. he had most of his mail got to a forwarding box. That was how it was so hard to learn about hot checks etc.

I am so very ill. I do not know how I've been able to hold on this long. My blood work is so riddled with abnormal ranges how do you know what to battle first. I have asked very very little from this man. I knew that he deserved to receive the same treatment he had been shoveling out. He has forged my name numerous times, taken without my knowledge, thousands of dollars out of my account that he makes me pay for my needs with. If I need a certain soap or toothpaste, yep, better not ask. But I realized that I was going to die pretty soon, and I didn't want to have that on my heart. He refused to help me find doctors, he could not even put compartmentalized vitamins in a cup in the morning. If one pill ran out, he'd just put two more of another kind in the cup. I had a list for him to go by.

I'm really not sure if he is truly as stupid as he acts. You know what I feel he knows exactly what he is doing. He criticizes my every breath, not with constructive ideas, but with nit picking, irrelevant & ridiculously unimportant ways. He has done so many things. I've considered forgiveness, but you know what, He doesn't think he needs to ask.

anon8497
Post 25

If you want to quit lying you will have to use the old faithful...NOT lying. Make it your personal policy never to lie. If you are asked a question, you have the right to refuse to answer. You have the right to your own personal privacy, and your own ownerships. If you are lying, you should consider that maybe deep down you feel forced to answer. And to you, lying is like ripping off the information thief. As well, if you are finding honesty is looking like it'd show a better yield -- that is, you stand to gain if you are honest -- then your life is very, very heavenly-well set up, and you should confront the fear that its tenuous foundation will collapse if you use an honesty strategy. It may, though, if your basic striving is to find out if honesty is only a strategy. Wouldn't that be dishonest? Well, it's the one allowable dishonesty. Steering straight makes for good driving. That's a type of honesty. It's only a type of dishonesty if you are disallowing other types of steering in your definition. Honesty for honesty's sake is honesty for gain. In the Bible, Jesus (supposedly) says: "Anything you might profit from me". That means that if (it ain't the commandment breakers is automatically built in, I think) you go by the truth, and you profit, you can keep it. Such as "an honest living". Of course there are always issues to be addressed, and of course, hopefully it rains on your food seeds anyways, but if you pull the weeds so you can eat your vegetables, your living is an honest one. Sure a few bugs are out some weeds, but there's other bugs (or maybe the same ones) willing to live in the weed pile you made because you wanted to eat the vegetables, not just watch them choke out and not be there. Most of life is like this, especially life for living. You don't have to have the big mystery key answer -- try to have a sense of humour about being a liar, too. Maybe you can use some of that creative energy to write stories or comedy. I know I could sure use a laugh. As well, you will find knowledge unfolds for you, because the difference between not only your own self lying but lying and untruth in general, becomes stark, against truth. You will find you can figure out all kinds of interesting facts and knowledge, which may impress your mate or get you a raise. Good luck quitting, too, because lying is also a safety issue.

somewhereusa
Post 24

One more thing,

He has the nerve to say he don't know you I don't trust him.....

How do you trust a pathological liar?

You can't.....

somewhereusa
Post 23

I live with a pathological liar, and let me tell you, he is making me feel like I am going crazy because of all the stuff he pulls..He seems to lie about the smallest things, or hides financial issues from me, as in getting credit cards...He has made it to the point of me feeling like I am the one with issues. I finally broke last night, told him he needs help, and I am giving him one more chance or I am gone. I should of seen it from the beginning, maybe I have just been avoiding it for 15 yrs.

Sometimes, I think I should just leave. We have 2 teenage girls, and I really don't want them to be like their father. This is ruining our marriage. I love him, he is all I have known my adult life, I just want him to treat me equal, and stop lying and doing things behind my back.

anon8317
Post 22

I have been married for 15 years, and my husband is doing the same as above for the most part except leaving for days on end. I now feel as if I am the one crazy, he makes me feel as if I am..2x now he has gotten credit cards without talking to me, and then lying in my face about it...It makes me so insecure, and I actually feel crazy. He lies about everything, you name it he has 10 different lies for it. The smallest to money issues..I'm disabled, trying to get SSI, Im about ready to leave him, because of the stress. I go in and outta of depression because of all the lies...

Does therapy really do any good for this?

If not I have got to leave.

bigmetal
Post 21

to the mom of the 12 year old liar..."hate" is a strong word. maybe you need to look at your relationship with him to get to the root of why he feels that he needs to lie so much?

mom13
Post 20

i hate my 12 year old son because of his problem with lying. any help here!

anon7790
Post 19

I'm a Pathological liar and i have no idea how to stop. any ideas?

anon7571
Post 18

I have caught my husband in so many lies....that I just don't believe he could ever tell me the truth anymore. Most revolve around Money as the poster above me mentioned. Secret loans, secret visas, "kiting" my checking account, going in as me on my online banking site and setting up automatic payments. It has cost us $1,000's of dollars we do not have!! Even in therapy under accountability the lies have not stopped. Then there was the shock of the "double-life". One a great family man taking his family to Church etc....the other a Porn addict visiting his sites or abandoning our family for days at a time and not knowing why. Then the truth came out. This was a 25 year relationship at this point! It is so discouraging being the partner of someone like this. The trust is gone in the relationship and all that is left is confusion, and strength to make the right choices for the future (not only mine but our children's)

anon7570
Post 17

I think I am a pathological liar. I lie constantly. I'm paranoid about everything. It's ruined my life. I'm in too deep and even if I wanted to stop I couldn't. Stupidity.

That's all.

anon5984
Post 16

Hi, I'm 17 and I find myself lying a lot. Before, it started out as little things here and there, but it got worse as I got older. I realize I'm doing it, but sometimes I do it without meaning to... I know its ruining my relationship with my girlfriend and I recognize my problem, but I don't know how to make it better. Please, please help me guys! What am I to do?

frazier2
Post 15

My husband's children are pathological liars. I had never heard of such until I met his kids. They lived with us for a VERY short while. We could NOT deal with the lies. Of course, the mother had warned my husband they were liars, which he says come from her and her mental illness. Being a very truthful person about everything, them living with us did not work at all.

anon4561
Post 14

I'm 17 and i used to date a girl for 4 months, but i broke it off after i started getting suspicions about lying. At first i found myself crying over how horrible her life was ie: she was the result of a rape, her "father" died of cancer and was taken off life support, she had been gang raped, she had heart conditions, she had stomach cancer and had 2 years to live, her grandmother died, her step father hit and molested her, her mother refused to drive her to the hospital, she was constantly puking up/coughing up blood and discussed suicided various times. I have lots of friends who could always rattle off her lies, and my friend who recently broke up with her talked to me about some of the things she told him and were pretty certain she is lying about everything. She always gets extremely angry and defensive when i question her stories. She's my really good friend but what can i do? Is there anything that can be done?

japristov
Post 12

My son is 16 and lies about everything. I feel your pain. He also takes things that are seemingly small, like food or loose change and just lies about it. Yet, we find empty food containers under his mattress or empty pizza boxes under a couch. Recently, I had to work out of town for a month and my husband (my son's stepfather) could not cope with his lying anymore. I had my son stay with his biological father for the duration of my being out of town. I am home now and my son refused to come back home. I have recently found out that he has stolen his father's car in the middle of the night, not once but twice. My son does not have his driver's license or temps because I could not trust him with a car. Gee, if I can't trust him to not eat food he is not supposed to eat, how can I trust him with a vehicle? He has no regard for the law. We also lock our bedroom door but he has figured out how to break in using his YMCA card. He writes letters to his girlfriend telling he that he has recently lost aunts and uncles (and one that shot themself) just in hopes that she will give in to his wanting to have sex. No one has recently died in our family. He too is having a difficult time in school. My husband and I are at our wits' end. I really do not want to let him back into our home when the rest of us (4 other children)can finally take a breath. Do I have him hospitalized or simply go to counseling?

Any comments are appreciated.

lalalane523
Post 11

I had a friend who always lies about everything and anything. She lied and said she graduated from college, she is a registered nurse, and even the hospitals that she claimed she worked at...all a lie. She lied and said she had gotten her own apartment and that was a lie. She just keeps lying, and at this point she should know that all her friends know she is lying but it doesn't stop her from lying. If I am talking to her every morning and every morning she is at home then of course common sense should tell her I know she does not have a daytime job, but she will lie to our mutual friend and say she was at work all morning. All I know is something is definitely wrong with her. I finally ended our friendship after she lied and told me she was still getting married, when I had found out a month ago that the wedding was off. I questioned her and everything and she still lied. (By the way, her dream wedding was called off because she kept lying to her fiance and he finally found out that she was a liar). After dealing with this for so many years I had to cut her out my life.

Are these lies signs of a pathological liar or do you think something else is wrong with her? Will she ever change?

ruffi
Post 10

I have a daughter who is 18 in college. Ever since she was little she had tendency to lie or create elaborate stories. Now at 18, she lies about her health to her friends and boyfriends..even to the point of telling people she has cancer and 6 months to live. How do I confront her? and what kind of liar - pathological or compulsive - is that?

fljag01
Post 9

My husband of 18 years says that i am a Pathological Liar. I do not lie intentionally, but it appears it has now overtaken my life, and has ruined both my husbands and daughters life due to all the arguments I have caused. I have felt for many many years that something was wrong with me, since I was a child, around 10/11 years old - I seemed different to other kids, withdrawn, shy 'in my shell', as teachers would say.

I was very interested to read that head injuries could play a part in my "condition". When I was a baby I fell head first onto a concrete supermarket floor. I was check out at my GP but no further investigations were made - although we are talking 1967!

I have contacted various doctors over the years telling them of my fears, but was either gave me anti-depressants, or suggested cognitive therapy, basically talk about my fears and problems.

I would be very interested in finding out how I could go about being tested somehow. If anybody could shed some light on how I could salvage my life I would be very much appreciated.

anon3729
Post 8

My wife lies to me constantly, we've had long emotional talks about trust in our relationship and she always swears the lying will stop. Soon enough I catch her in another lie. Just today I got a letter from the bank proving another lie. When I showed her said letter her eyes scanned it as if trying to make it disappear or as if she was willing it to turn to dust. This happens over and over and over. Sadly, money is a common denominator in her lies. I confronted her today with the proof in my hand, in a very calm and firm manner and she decided to throw everything back at me and somehow I ended up as the main villain in the story.

I was upset now I am concerned for her mental health. I cannot think of leaving because of our child.

anon3280
Post 6

i have the same problem with my husbands stepmother and i am worried about even leaving our young son with her alone because we can't trust that she is telling the truth about anything. are we being ridiculous to worry about the influence or safety of our 3 year old

anon3274
Post 5

Dear anonymous w/mother issues,

You don't state whether or not this is new behaviour but judging from your distress and your adult tone, I get the impression that this is a recent change.

Sounds like your mother is due for a check-up w/your family doctor. Many health problems could explain her behaviour and they need to be verified and treated, as the case may be. I don't want to offer any theories as that is properly a doctor's role, but please take this seriously.

Try to gently suggest that she make an appointment or do it for her. Express concern for her health, make it about you, that you care and worry about her and avoid mentioning or confronting the lying. Please mention it to her health practitioner however as that is the point of the exam.

Try to enlist the support of family members in bringing her to the doctor. If she has no insurance and little money, offer to pay for the visit. Keep in mind, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and best of luck with this situation.

anon3018
Post 3

Lately I have come to realize that my mother might be a pathological liar. She doesn't lie to keep things hidden from everyone or anything, it's just that, somehow she feels the need to lie about petty little things in everyday life, possibly to gain attention, or sympathy. She would feel the need to exaggerate a petty little matter, or even just a statement that someone has made, that would otherwise go unnoticed had she not lied about a part of it.

For example, the other day she said about me to someone else, "Oh she doesn't want to go to that restaurant because she thinks it's dirty there." But I had never even said that it's dirty there. All I said was that I didn't want to go, that was it. And it surprised me that she would say what is obviously a lie right in front of me too, as if I wouldn't say anything about it in my defense. Again, this is a petty little matter that I did not hang on to. But I feel that the situation is getting pretty serious. I had been away traveling for a whole month, and the other day, after I got back when we were sitting down for dinner with my family I realized that she had been lying/exaggerating to the rest of the family about a lot of things I had written to her in emails during my trip. What was even more outrageous was that she was also continuing to lie about the things I told her after I got back, right in front of me! I had to basically cut her off all the time to explain to everyone that no, it wasn't really like that. My grandmother is quite faint-hearted and it turns out that she was seriously worried for my safety all month as a result of the information my mother had been feeding her.

It's just things like this that have been adding up, and they have been worrying me. Would really appreciate some advice.

anon2464
Post 1

my son is 13 and lies about everything big and small. it can be did you take the garbage out and him saying he did when he didn't ( i think thats pretty typical of a 13 year old) to my leaving my debit card on the table and him using it on line and when questioned about it lying and crying saying he didn't do it when i know he did. he steals food and denies it. he is well fed. its not like hes starving, he takes stuff like soda, bananas, whole boxes of cookies, loaves of bread and syrup and just today a jar of smukers goober ( pb & j in a jar together). I have gone on long strikes of not buying any treats or locking anything that he might take in our room but this seems unfair to the rest of the family and my self. i love goober. ;-). he will lie to my face with no guilt. i don't know what to do any more. he takes money if left out and of course not tell me if he did it. cds video games all kinds of stuff. he is having a hard time at school. had to go to alc for 45 days, it goes on and on. what do i do? he has been on ritalin and atteral at separate times and varies doses for years with no change, in fact its getting worse. any one with insight please let me know. thanks, tina.

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