What is a Missed Miscarriage?

In some cases, grief therapy is part of a broader treatment plan.
Coping with missed miscarriage grief usually affects both partners.
A missed miscarriage is often identified when no fetal heart beat can be heard.
Smoking cigarettes during pregnancy can cause miscarriages.
Most missed miscarriages occur within the first 12 weeks of conception.
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  • Written By: Tricia Ellis-Christensen
  • Edited By: O. Wallace
  • Last Modified Date: 01 September 2014
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A missed miscarriage or incomplete miscarriage is a rare type of miscarriage where the body fails to recognize the death of an unborn child and does not simultaneously abort. Most missed miscarriages occur within the first 12 weeks after conception. They are usually identified when no fetal heart rate can be heard through echo-Doppler testing. The missed miscarriage is then confirmed by ultrasound.

Many women do not realize that their child in utero has died, though occasionally women will notice brownish spotting. Often if death has just occurred, the body may simply begin to miscarry within a few days. When it is clear the body will not miscarry, an obstetrician has several options for ending the pregnancy.

If the pregnancy is extremely early, prior to 7-8 weeks, medication like misoprostol can cause the body to expel the remaining tissue in the uterus. This is non-invasive, and the resultant tissues expelled resemble a heavy period. Pain can be significant with a pregnancy loss even at this early stage. Women are often given pain medication to help with contractions. Passing any tissue is not generally physically painful, though it can certainly take an emotional toll on any woman having to experience a missed miscarriage.

When the pregnancy has lasted for longer than 8-9 weeks, and a missed miscarriage is confirmed, physicians tend to perform a dilation and curettage (D&C). Though this procedure is the same as that performed to abort a pregnancy, most women with a missed miscarriage do not have to go to an abortion clinic to have this procedure done. Almost all hospitals, including those with strong anti-abortion stances perform D&Cs for missed miscarriages.

The importance of the D&C is to minimize risk of infection. If the pregnancy materials are not removed from the body, they can over time become infected and cause significant health problems. Where a missed miscarriage is not diagnosed, for example in a woman who does not notice she is pregnant, infection can cause significant illness, pain, blood infection, and the ability to not be able to have more children. Women who have carried the pregnancy materials of a missed miscarriage for a long time, may need to be hospitalized to treat significant and life threatening infections.

A D&C for a missed miscarriage is usually an outpatient procedure. The woman undergoing one will probably notice bleeding at first, which will gradually lessen within a few weeks. Fever, significant pain or exceptionally heavy bleeding (needing more than one pad an hour), necessitates contacting a doctor immediately, as very rare but serious complications can occur after a D&C.

Those who have had a D&C for a missed miscarriage can expect some pain for a few days following the procedure. Most doctors recommend no sexual activity for six weeks after a missed miscarriage. As well, they suggest waiting at least three months before attempting another pregnancy.

Women suffering a missed miscarriage are as likely to be affected by postpartum depression as women who have had a full-term healthy pregnancy. This is due to the stoppage of pregnancy hormones, which can significantly affect mood. Some depression is quite reasonable after losing a pregnancy. Discuss strong feelings of depression, thoughts of suicide, or unrelenting grief with a physician. Most doctors can help one find the means for handling this difficult time and experience, through either temporary treatment with anti-depressants, or through recommendations for experienced therapists.

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anon962609
Post 163

I haven't gone through every single post, but from what I can see so far, most are from women. I'm a guy who is also going through a missed miscarriage. My girlfriend and I have suffered through two miscarriages before and after a trip to the emergency room, this looks like a third.

I am so sad right now, partly for the apparent missed miscarriage and for my girlfriend who is obviously going through more than I. This pregnancy (eight weeks) has been the longest in duration of the three, which of course makes what is happening all the more painful.

I want to cling to hope so bad but fear that will only end in more pain for the both of us. I crumble inside when she mentions her distress at the mere thought of currently carrying our deceased child. I'm not sure what I hope to gain from writing this other than trying to let some of the swarming thoughts in my head out.

anon938586
Post 161

I had a missed miscarriage in December 2011 at the age of 26. This was my first pregnancy. My baby was six weeks, three days when the heartbeat stopped. I was examined on the first day of week 12 and was given three options: to take an abortion pill, have a D&C, or wait two weeks to see if my body would respond on its own. We were not convinced that the baby stopped developing and wanted to wait for my body to tell us otherwise.

The day before my two week follow up, I started light bleeding. At my appointment, the ultrasound confirmed what we denied: my body was naturally preparing to release the baby. I was told I could take pills to help expel the fetus or have a D&C. I took the pills.

That night, the pain was the worst I have ever experienced in my life and there was so much blood lost. I was in the bathroom for over two hours that night. I am happy that I went natural because when it was over, it was over. I had no more pain and I was physically fine in the morning. I felt a connection to my baby even though he/she was already in heaven.

The emotional pain never goes away. Something that really helped me was to make a scrapbook that is full of all the information from my pregnancy, including my ultrasound pictures. We also named the baby and remember him/her on the "due date" every year. God bless.

anon927051
Post 160

We were 11 weeks and six days, with no sign of any impending miscarriage. We'd had a viability scan at seven weeks and saw a strong heartbeat.

Anyway, on the morning of 11+6 I felt an urgent need to pee. I got to the toilet and felt a 'gush' and out popped a tiny wee fetus with identifiable arms, legs etc. There was no blood. Just this wee person. It took a few hours for any bleeding to start and then for the next five days I had a lot of cramping and contractions to pass the placenta, etc. Did anyone else experience a miscarriage like this? It just didn't fit the textbook descriptions of a miscarriage and I'm so confused. Hugs to everyone going through this.

anon339816
Post 159

It has really helped me to read this today. I am 12 weeks pregnant and found out three weeks ago our baby had died. They believe from the ultrasound that the baby died at six weeks. I started spotting brown blood about two weeks ago. I've had no cramping, and a few brown clots have passed, but no red blood. I have a D&C scheduled for tomorrow. This is my sixth pregnancy and my first loss. I am having such a hard time. I realized today is the last day I have with this baby here on earth. Alive or not, it is still in me. I am not sure how I will make it tomorrow. I know that God is in control, but I just don't understand why He would let me lose this child. I love this little one son much and pray that I am doing the right thing. I need peace.

anon333805
Post 158

I had a missed miscarriage over two years ago (April 2011). I was 11 weeks, ad I had mild cramping and started spotting brown. Then it progressed, and when we checked into the emergency room at the hospital it was worse. The ultrasound wand confirmed my miscarriage at seven weeks. I was going to be 37 and so excited to be a Mum.

I have missed mini ever since. Each year around April and May, it is really difficult. I feel really sad. I cry a lot. I hope as time goes on that the pain of my loss lessens. How have you been able to deal with the loss? Have an of you sought assistance? What helps you move on and not be affected by the pain? Thank you for your time. -- Maxine

anon267403
Post 156

I had my first scan yesterday and was told that the baby's heartbeat had stopped at 9.5 weeks. This is my second miscarriage and I am devastated, numb. I have to go back tomorrow to talk over options.

anon263339
Post 155

I just discovered that I have a missed miscarriage three days ago. It is my first pregnancy and my baby was 11 weeks, but it had stopped growing at eight weeks with no heartbeat. Tomorrow I will be going for a D&C.

My husband and I are very sad for this loss but we know that everything happens for a reason. We will stay positive and try again after this. For all of you out there, don't give up and be strong always.

anon255678
Post 154

I too had a missed miscarriage. I was about 13 weeks along but they could not detect when I lost the baby. This happened back in 2010, and my doctor gave me the option of a D&C or a natural at home miscarriage to clean out my body.

I decided to do the natural at home one and man, it was the most painful scariest thing ever. What was sad was that my two boys were with me when it happened. Now two years later, I find myself to be almost seven weeks pregnant. I'm praying and hoping that this baby makes it because my boys would like a chance to have a baby sister, in hopes that the baby is a girl.

I'm praying for all of you in hopes that the future will be a more gentle and welcoming place for any future pregnancies.

anon238848
Post 153

My name is clara. I am writing this because I am deeply wounded. Please help me. This is the first time I am opening my heart. I had a relationship when I was 27 and got pregnant after that the guy left me. I had no choice. I went to the hospital and had a D & C. My parents don't know about this. After a year, I got married. My husband doesn't know about this, either. My parents forced me to get married.

I feel very bad each and every day. I committed a crime. I killed my baby, I cheated my husband and now I am not getting pregnant. I am scared that my husband will come to know about this and then he will divorce me. What shall I do?

anon234809
Post 152

I had my first baby 12 weeks ago, a healthy baby boy. The delivery was pretty dramatic and I lost three litres of blood. I received numerous blood transfusions and had a balloon fitted temporarily in my womb to try and encourage my blood vessels to close off and my uterus to contract, since that's what they suspected was causing the bleeding. It was supposed to be a 20 minute operation but I was in the operating room for nearly five hours because the operation took three attempts.

The balloon was removed after two days (as well as a lot of swabs that they'd used to “pack out” my womb to absorb the blood) and I was put on eight tablets a day: antibiotics, anti-inflammatories, iron tablets and pain killers. I was in hospital for five days before I was discharged.

In the 12 weeks since I had my little boy, I've suffered terrible pains which I can only describe as early labour pains. The doctor fitted the coil (mirena) at my six week check and said that all seemed well. Within a day of having the coil fitted, I was in agony, bleeding really heavily, feeling dizzy and my temperature was all over the place. I went back to my doctor and her initial thought was that I was suffering a miscarriage as I was losing a lot of blood. She examined me and said my coil was still in place and that she put the bleeding down to an infection in my womb (which she never confirmed). She put me on a course of antibiotics and norethisterone (hormone tablets) which were supposed to stop the bleeding. I was taking eight of the hormone tablets and my bleeding was reduced to what most would call a normal period. It remained this way for two weeks.

I finished the course of antibiotics and hormone tablets and my bleeding carried on as a heavy period for a few weeks. I came on my period when it was due. It was very heavy and I was filling a maternity pad an hour, which in my opinion, should not be happening ten weeks after delivery. I lost a lot of clots and the bleeding was almost uncontrollable. I had horrible backache and abdominal pain until I passed what can only be described as a fetus and a bit of placenta. I called NHS direct and although they were concerned, all nine doctors and nurses who spoke to me just said that losing large clots is normal during a heavy period. I was put on more tablets to reduce the bleeding and my doctor referred me to a local hospital for a scan.

At the scan, they said that whatever it was had passed and my womb was now fine. I showed numerous doctors and midwives a photo of what I'd passed and all said that they think I was carrying twins and this fetus stopped developing quite early on, but remained inside my womb after the delivery of my son and that's why my body kept pumping blood to my uterus. It makes sense as my doctor tested me numerous times for pregnancy in the weeks after I had my son and all tests were negative so I know that this fetus wouldn't be more recent. Twins also run in my family.

From reading people's stories, it seems that some people that have suffered these miscarriages have bled during the pregnancy when losing one twin. I'm angry that the hospital didn't scan me before discharging me to check that there was no placenta or packing left behind and didn't take me seriously when I first started to complain about all of my symptoms. My first scan was at 12 weeks so the fetus wouldn't have already been deceased and wouldn't have shown.

I just want to know if anyone else has suffered a multiple pregnancy that has ended with one healthy child but didn't bleed during the pregnancy when they lost the twin? I don't even know if that makes sense. I hope so. I'm eager to understand this whole situation as the NHS have been absolutely useless! (Sorry for the essay.)

anon199586
Post 150

I suffered a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks, though my baby had died at around 6 weeks. I was allowed to miscarry normally and did so about one week after being told the news. At age 39 and my first pregnancy I was devastated. I was alone as husband works overseas.

What I hadn't prepared for was the post pregnancy distress. I tried to be philosophical but no one I spoke to understood. Everyone's attitude has been ' well at least you weren't very far pregnant,' 'this is so common' and 'well, at your age'.

My husband didn't come home and has been unable to respect my distress and even my boss couriered work home to me on the day I emailed to explain my absence from work. My thoughts are with everyone who experiences this. So distressing.

anon193436
Post 149

after reading all the stories i feel like i'm not the only one in the world who is unlucky. i'm 30and right now i have a daughter who is 5 years old. After i had my daughter, i had three missed miscarriages consecutively. One was at 16 weeks, one at 26 weeks and the last one was at 14 weeks. i haven't found anything wrong in my body from the blood tests and everything. now i'm pregnant again and right now i'm 19 weeks but i'm very, very scared. every moment i feel i'll lose my baby and this time i conceived right after my d and c. i hope everything goes fine this time.

anon191312
Post 148

I too had a missed miscarriage and was devastated. I had lost the baby at eight and a half weeks and found out at 13 weeks that I mad miscarried. I was booked in for a D&C. I am now eight weeks past the D&C and we want to try again.

I had a period four weeks after the D&C. Hopefully God will bless us with another chance. Love to you all. You just have to have faith.

anon185282
Post 147

Yesterday my husband and I went to our last ultrasound appointment with our IVF doctor. After months of painful treatments and after losing one twin, we were so happy to have one baby who made it.

In the past few years I suffered many losses in my family including both my parents, grandparents, and uncle. I am an only child so when I heard at five weeks my baby's heart beat, I felt like I was floating on air. After trying so long and seeing all my friends pregnant, I could not take any more baby showers or baby parties of any sorts. This baby was our miracle child.

Yesterday during the ultrasound the doctor could not find the baby's heartbeat. I was told that the heart must have stopped beating three or four days ago and just like that everything I dreamed of, longed for, went through months of painful treatments ended. I cannot think straight, and the thought of going through all this again is to much to even imagine right now.

anon182208
Post 146

My husband and I went in for our first ultrasound (for our first baby) when I was 10.5 weeks along. We knew that it was bad news when the technician was repeatedly asking whether we were sure of our dates and our responses were met with silence. They did both the external and internal exam and then brought in the radiologist to let us know what we already had come to understand.

The baby stopped developing at five weeks, one day and I had no cramping, no bleeding, no nothing. Oddly enough the following day I started cramping/light spotting, it has now progressed to mild period/like. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow to talk about our options and if I am not able to complete this naturally, I think I will opt for the medication as the idea of going for a D&C frightens me terribly.

I'm also currently missing work because I'm scared that it will happen when I'm there. I never thought this would happen to us, as we are both in our late twenties, don't smoke, drink, or work at dangerous jobs. We were so excited to be having a baby and I regret telling so many people our happy news and am not looking forward to facing everyone's sympathies when I get back to work.

anon179962
Post 145

@anon1786787: Please, Please don't ever abort your baby. you will regret it later.

anon178687
Post 144

My heart goes out to all of you and i pray God bless you all with your heart's desire, especially my sister who's now looking for her second baby.

I'm 32 and still single but discovered I am pregnant by a guy i can't marry. I want to keep the baby but the guy says abort. It's four weeks plus a few days now, but i noticed the breast tenderness and fatigue are reduced. could i be having a missed abortion? I am feeling no nausea yet.

I don't know what to do yet. my family is not aware of this. if it turns out I am really pregnant, do i keep it? people keep saying i should abort it since the father does not want it but can't i take care of it? I am working. what do you think, ladies?

anon178598
Post 143

Sorry for your loss. i have recently been through a similar situation. i was 12 weeks pregnant when i miscarried. i have four kids and never lost one before. i was told that i had a five week sac at eight weeks and would soon lose my baby. I was bleeding for 4 weeks with no clots and no pain, then on my youngest daughter's birthday it happened. It was scary but by the next morning, the bleeding stopped and it was over. To all of you. I'm sorry for your loss and wish you all happiness.

anon173959
Post 142

@105: Just wondering how you got on?

I'm in a similar situation. I'm 38 years old and have been 'trying' (i hate that term) for around five years. I finally got on waiting list for ivf after having clomid last year.

To our joy we found out i was pregnant few weeks ago so I thought we would not need ivf. However, I've just had a scan at the hospital.

I was supposed to in week nine of my pregnancy, but the fetus 'stopped growing' at about 5 1/2 weeks. My husband was at work so I had not shared the news yet. No one knew i was pregnant as we wanted to wait until week 12. Seems surreal sharing it with a computer.

The hospital signed me off work for a week for 'medical reasons' so i just need to send the sick note to my employer. they will know something happended as it's from the gang unit. i presume the week is to deal with emotions and possible pain that may come.

I want to get my mind off it but the last thing i want to do is work, especially when my colleague in the office is five months pregnant with her third child.

I was due to have ivf next month at liverpool hewitt centre (june 2011) but cannot have that now for six months - don't know what will happen next. I have asked to speak to a counsellor there as we may need to go through all the tests and waiting etc!

Not had any pain yet, but I read some horror stories on here.

I hope you have had a good result?

anon170126
Post 141

i had a stillbirth a six months in 2008 followed by two miscarriages in 2009 and 2010. And recently i had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. so frustrating to have all those in rows every year. life is not a bed of roses i guess.

anon169831
Post 140

I was six weeks along and i had a miscarriage two days ago. i can't believe why this happened. It was my first child and was looking forward to being a mum. God knows why it happened but i will not give up. I will keep trying. I haven't had any procedures, but on wednesday will be going for a further check-up to know what next. May God be with all of us and guide us through this.

anon169058
Post 139

It is really comforting to read the other posts and to know that I am not alone on this. I just found out today that I have this strange phenomenon which I have never heard about before. I am going to have a D&C tomorrow.

I was feeling really down about the whole thing as it was just a sudden blow to the plans I began making. Well, I guess this is God's will for my life. I must say thank God I have one child already. I have a friend who has had 12 miscarriages.

anon168812
Post 138

I have just suffered my second miscarriage in twelve months. This time around it was a missed miscarriage. I had never heard of this term before. My body didn't expel my baby for five weeks after I was told the baby had died. When my body passed the baby, it was like I was in labour and I was in more pain than I was with my previous seven live births (all of which I did without any pain relief). I was roughly seven to eight weeks along with this last one. Luckily I didn't need a D&C. Hopefully the Lord will bless my husband and me with another baby if that is his will.

anon166514
Post 137

My heart and love go out to you all. My daughter presently is pregnant. She went to her doctor and was told that her baby's heart stopped at six weeks, and she is now 8 weeks. She was advised by her doctor to let her body miscarry the dead fetus by itself, rather than having a D&C. So, she is just waiting for that to happen. But I must tell you all out there, that sharing your personal experiences is very comforting and it sure helps. God bless you all, and thanks for sharing. Remember "God knows best."

anon165762
Post 135

Reading all the posts suggests that we all have had missed miscarriages up until twelve weeks, despite early scans suggesting all is well with baby and mother. So why do they happen - does anyone have any medical explanation why it happens in the early stages of pregnancy? Thank you.

anon161269
Post 134

I really think it helps with the loss to hear others' stories.

My husband and i have a two year old son and found out we were pregnant with our second in December, 2010. It was the morning of our family christmas party so we were so excited to tell everyone. I had my son say, "I'm gonna be a big brother" and everyone cheered. Probably 40 of my family were there.

We went for our 12 week checkup and the doctor found the heartbeat right away and it was very strong -- 180 bpm-- it was so exciting. My husband was there and it was amazing to hear the heartbeat. I went for my 16 week checkup and the doctor could not find the heartbeat with the doppler. She pulled out the ultrasound and there was no blinking dot that i was hoping for and the baby was not moving. The baby measured about 13 weeks and i had my d&c the next day.

I was all alone at the doctor and my husband came right away but it was hard to see the tiny baby and knowing that it had died three weeks earlier. We are having a test done to see what went wrong and will find out the sex. We will name our lost baby and go on to try again.

But to all of you women who have lost a pregnancy just know that love begins before a baby is born, and that love will live forever in our hearts. RIP my precious baby. I miss you more than you could ever know.

anon161214
Post 133

Some may view my post as less relevant, because I don't have definitive answers right now. Right now, I'm in limbo. I can't be happy or mourn.

I estimated that I am 10 weeks into my pregnancy, so I was anxious to see my baby for the first time this morning. I patiently waited for the technician to finish taking the images so she could show me my baby. Instead of showing the images, the technician says, "I regret to have to tell you that you're fetus is deceased. It is still in your uterus, but I can't find a heartbeat. It only appears to be a six week fetus." Thank God, my mother was with me, because I heard nothing she said after that.

A consult with the OB left me more confused because he did not confirm what the technician said. He told me that I could just be wrong with my conception date. Not wanting to do harm to a viable pregnancy, he sent me for blood work to check my HCG levels and I go back in a few days for another test. My question is, what do I do in the interim? How do I deal with the fact that I could be carrying a dead fetus inside of me, and have been for the past four weeks? How much longer before they do the D&C?

It took me over a month to accept another pregnancy, which is my third. My first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage within two weeks after I found out. I went into premature labor with my son, who is now 16. This pregnancy wasn't planned, and I had contemplated an abortion early on. The baby's dad wasn't happy initially, because I decided to keep the baby. He already has five children and three grandchildren. It's definitely been a rollercoaster of emotions over the last month, but we've accepted the reality and had begun to look forward to the baby's arrival.

annemarie333
Post 132

I'm 40 and we were so excited when we found out we were pregnant. I saw the heartbeat at eight weeks then i had spotting last wednesday week and went to the doc, who could not find the heartbeat.

I went to hospital and had a scan. I should have been 14 weeks but scan showed baby had died just past 9 weeks. We were devastated. I had a d&c the next day. The sadness is overwhelming but there are reasons for everything and thank God we have our faith.

It's so hard because you begin to blame yourself but it's nothing you did wrong. Because i believe life begins at conception and because we saw the heartbeat, to get some healing from this we were able to bring our baby home (i.e., products of conception) in a little white box not unlike a coffin and we buried our baby.

For those who do not know this there is what's called Baptism of Desire. Desire for your baby to be baptized. Give them a name regardless of whether u know the sex or not then give them back to God in the same love that he gave your baby to you so that their name will be forever written in heaven.

I get great comfort from this and I hope you do too. We have to grieve but we have to let go too and rejoice in the day we meet our little angels in heaven and oh what a day of joy that will be. God bless you all.

anon155189
Post 130

I just suffered a miscarriage 13 weeks, 3 days. I have fallen in love with this child already. tomorrow I go for a D&C and my heart is so broken.

Why did "G-d" take my baby, how wanted and loved it was and will forever be. Life should not be this hard. Such a loss. How I never wish this misery on anyone. I would have rather "G-d" would have spared the child's life and in the end took mine. Life is not easy. How does one ever get over this loss. I guess I never will, I will just learn to live with it and always remember my baby, my baby that is now in "G-d's" hands.

Just so very devastating. This is just an opportunity to vent and it helps. I so appreciate reading all the posts and am so sorry for everyone who has experienced this loss.

anon154434
Post 129

I just discovered having missed abortion two days ago. I was into my 13th week of pregnancy and the scan showed no heartbeat and the fetus stopped growing after 9 weeks. Having seen the beautiful heartbeat at the sixth week scan, it was a devastating experience to know what had happened without any symptoms.

God is the author of life. He is a potter and we are the clay. We cannot question the potter at any time. He has His own plans for each of us who have gone through this terrible trauma. He definitely has a plan and purpose, so stay positive. doc has given me tablets to expel the fetus, if not, I am suggested for D&C.

I am waiting for God's will and leave everything to God. He will strengthen us all. All glory to Him through our Christ Jesus.

anon150333
Post 127

I was nearly 15 weeks when i had a missed miscarriage. We had problems from our first scan when they told us our baby's bowel and liver was on the outside and the bladder was enlarged in which both problems were fixable, though the hospital told us it could of been a chromosome problems and to have a CVS in which i did at 12 weeks. It all seemed to go fine and the results came back normal. I got to find out i was having a little boy too.

We went back at 14 weeks for another scan and they told us the bladder had gone back to normal which was good news, until they told us there was no heartbeat and he hadn't grown for two weeks, which leads me to believe the CVS was the cause of this. So now all i do is blame myself for having this test. If it was the cause i could of prevented it.

The next day i had to go to the hospital for the D&C. we got our little boy cremated and are getting keepsake necklaces for the ashes and scattering the rest so he can be free. I know in time it will get better but all I do at the moment is break down in tears every five minutes and I'm finding it so hard to deal with. I have a lot of support which is great, so hopefully things will get better soon. I wanted my little peanut from day one and wish i could go back but things must happen for a reason no matter how painful it is.

anon148063
Post 126

I was 11 weeks when I had my miscarriage. I began spotting about five to seven days days prior. I thought the spotting was normal, at first. The spotting was brown and turned into red and then into brown again and then finally into a steady red on the day the miscarriage felt official. I was feeling something off inside of me during the spotting time.

Feeling very anxious, unsure of things and a bit nervous, I tried to hold onto faith and of the unknown. I had not found a midwife to work with so I had not done any check ups to see if the heart was beating just yet. I was due in August and wanted to have a home birth. I was looking for a home birth midwife for many weeks and finally had an appointment with someone the evening the miscarriage began. This appointment was cancelled. My husband was next to me during the whole process. I never went to the hospital. I didn’t because I did not want an invasive procedure involved with this. There was great sadness wrapped in it all, and yes, time heals all things.

I never had an infection afterwards. I recovered and did have some guidance from my sister who is a midwife. Took iron supplements and ate iron rich foods and rested a lot. Processed my feelings with my husband and journal writing. My sadness comes from the feeling of connection to the soul that came through me. I wonder where it is now and where it is going. I loved the being that grew inside me for the short time it was with us. We were parents to it for 11 weeks. We honored its passing by lighting a yellow candle. I realize now this soul never really belonged to me. It moved through me but it never was mine. When I write this, I wonder if anything ever really belongs to anyone. Aren’t we all just visitors?

I will always love the being who came to visit us for 11 weeks. I learned that the first trimester is a place of the unknown. I learned that it was hard to maintain a relationship with the period called the unknown while each day I wanted to hold onto some sort of anticipation.

The morning after the miscarriage, a red-tailed hawk flew into the tree across from our Brooklyn apartment in NYC. This is not something we see very often, in fact, ever. I am still trying to understand the meaning/message of the hawk that sat on our tree for three hours. I think it has something to do with opening my eyes and seeing that which is there to guide me. And the interconnection of all the things on this planet.

I will always love yellow and pray that its continued journey is one showered with great love.

anon147448
Post 125

Thank you for all of your stories. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I had a missed miscarriage about two months ago. I already have two children, ages six and 18 months. Between those two children, I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost that baby and my left fallopian tube. That was awful because I saw the baby's heartbeat, and an hour later I was having emergency surgery to prevent rupturing which is life threatening. So I went through that loss.

Then two months ago, I was ten weeks along. I had put off getting the scan because I just knew in my gut that something was wrong. I was right. The doctor kept looking at the scan and I asked, "What's wrong?" because it was the same silence in the room as it was the first time. The baby was 7 1/2 weeks when it died. I got the medication, and they said that I had miscarried after that, but four days later I was in the hospital with extremely heavy bleeding. I almost bled to death in the hospital. Then they gave me a D&C and I am fine now.

All I can say is, I empathize with every woman who has lost a child. I am blessed that I was able to have two wonderful daughters, but I am 37 and I'm not sure I'm going to try again. I am very comforted by the fact that I believe my children are in heaven together, and they have many relatives who love them, not to mention they will never experience the suffering and pain in this world. I know I'll see them again.

anon146753
Post 124

I'm not really a religious person but I believe missed miscarriages must happen for a spiritual reason. I should have been 10 weeks 4 days yesterday when I went for my scan to meet my baby for the first time. My baby measured that of a 6 week old and had no heartbeat.

The sadness I feel is overwhelming, but I have seen my baby and somehow it's easier to say goodbye. For me personally, I think meeting my baby in this way has helped a little. A normal miscarriage would have been flushed away and I would never have had the chance of seeing my baby.

I feel for everyone here, I have chosen to find just a tiny glimmer of solace because as far as miscarriage goes I feel like one of the lucky ones as I got to see my baby on screen.

I am 40 and this was most likely my last chance to have a child. I will always remember that image of my baby on screen.

anon146041
Post 123

My fiance and I found out that we were having twins, due to an ER visit that I had one night, a few days after, taking a home pregnancy test. A sonogram was done, showing the two heartbeats, and even though, based on my last cycle, I was estimated to be about eight weeks, two days.

I scheduled for an appointment with my doctor, and my fiance and I went for the first appointment on Friday. During the visit, she NP conducted a TV, then an abdominal sonogram and stated that the fetus is only measuring up to one that is only seven weeks. She also saw no signs of a heartbeat. The NP told us that it was still early in the pregnancy, and that it may just the angle that she was unable to see them.

We scheduled an appointment with the radiologist, and had to wait an agonizing weekend to see if our babies were still viable. That whole weekend we did research to see if any others had gone through a sonogram, not see any signs of a heartbeat, but yet the pregnancy still went through. After, much reading and speaking with to my mother and step dad, both of whom work in the medical field, we were somewhat relieved to find out that the baby's heartbeat, in many cases, may not be detected until the 9-12th week. This eased some of our worries.

Yesterday, before the appointment, the NP called with my blood results from the hormone test and she said that my levels were very promising, 9300, and that she wants me to continue to get my hormone levels tested, so that they can keep an eye on the levels to make sure that they weren't decreasing. Later on, we went to see the radiologist and during the TV, I saw the two fetuses and one was always slightly larger than the other. But, this time they did seem to have grown.

However, once we went back to meet with the NP she said that the radiologist same the same thing that she did on Friday. No sign of movement, or a heartbeat.

My chest instantly caved in, and she said that I am going through a missed miscarriage and that I have three options. I could let my body go through a miscarriage and remove the fetuses, etc. on its own; I could take the pills, where they would insert four different pills into my vagina and it would begin the process of a miscarriage, or to go through with a D&C.

I had a an abortion before when I was younger, and I could not imagine going through anything similar to it. My fiance and I still do not know what to do.

We have decided to wait two weeks, to see if maybe by then, anything will turn out different. I still have to go in to get my blood drawn, on a weekly basis, to keep my hormone levels monitored. But dealing with this is so hard. After reading some of your stories, I'm really torn, and I'm hoping the best in the future for all of you.

We are hoping that the hcg levels continue to increase and that within these next two weeks, we can see something. But after that, a decision will have to be made. I don't want to get an infection, but I don't want to face reality either.

anon145192
Post 122

I had just entered into my 12th week of pregnancy with my second pregnancy. I felt great during this pregnancy, no morning sickness, my breasts weren't extremely sore. My only symptom was that I was exhausted with this pregnancy. I didn't really think much of it since our first baby was only 8 1/2 months old.

One Wednesday I was getting ready to leave work around 4 p.m. and needed to use the restroom. I noticed a little bright red blood on the toilet paper. I immediately called my doctor, whose office was already closed but her exchange got her in touch with me and she wanted to see me first thing on Thursday morning. She also ordered me to stay off my feet for the rest of the night.

So, I lay around all night doing nothing, the bleeding subsided and as "Murphy" would have it, it snowed about eight inches on Wednesday night which paralyzed the city for all of Thursday. Again, my doctor called and asked if I had any cramping or heaving bleeding and at this point I had not. She told me her office was closed for the day due to inclement weather and since I wasn't experiencing any heaving bleeding or cramping that she would see me first thing on Friday morning.

Thursday night around 4 p.m., the bleeding picked up and was heavier than earlier but still not what I would consider "heavy". Around 4 a.m. on Friday morning I was awakened by severe cramps and heavy bleeding. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was in labor. After about an hour of cramping and bleeding, I moved from my bed to the bathroom where after about 10 mins I passed the entire amniotic sac still intact. My cramping stopped immediately thereafter.

My appointment was at 8:30 a.m. with my doctor that same morning so I only had about three hours to wait to see her. In that three hours I had to change my pad four times.

Once at the doctor's office it was confirmed that I had indeed miscarried but the placenta was still in my uterus. I needed a D & C. Once this procedure was finished, I was told by my doc that everything was the size of a 12 week old fetus, but for some reason the sac detached from the placenta causing a miscarriage. They have no idea why this happened. I was devastated and my husband, bless his heart, was so strong for me, but I know he was also sad.

My only comfort is to believe this happened for a reason. Some higher being had other plans for me and my baby and there is nothing I can do to change that. My husband and I will wait about 6 - 12 months and we will try again.

My heart goes out to all who have experienced such a profound loss and please take comfort in knowing things like this happen for a reason. You may never know what that reason is, but just know there is a higher being at work here. Love to all!

anon143842
Post 121

I've been convinced for a couple of weeks that I was experiencing a "missed miscarriage" and today I was proved right.

I was meant to be 11 weeks along, but a scan showed an eight week foetus with no heartbeat. It was devastating as it looked like a tiny baby. Only it wasn't moving.

I am off to hospital tomorrow to find out whether I need a D&C or just the drugs. But, bizarrely, it's as if my body has finally come to terms with the fact that the little life it was nurturing has passed away as tonight, post the scan, I am having increased period-like cramps and the brown spotting has increased to red bleeding (although still light).

My symptoms were textbook. A brown mucus bleed (tiny) three weeks ago on Xmas Day (at seven weeks). Panicked, midwife ordered bloods which showed my (high) HCG levels were continuing to rise as they should. Her advice, relax and see what happens. Three weeks later, no spotting although at 8.5 weeks my symptoms disappeared almost overnight. Breasts stopped hurting, morning sickness (only ever mild) stopped and I suddenly had more energy (I had been exhausted before). I knew something was up. Then yesterday, at 10w3d I noticed more of the brown clots (again only small but if I put the toilet paper into my vagina it came out with light brown discharge on it).

My doctor said "it's true. the mother always knows." And I knew. My friends and husband were reassuring me and telling me I was just a worry-wart. But I just knew something was wrong with this pregnancy. Also, from the time I found out I was pregnant at five weeks until about seven weeks I had terrible sharp pains low down in my groin. Not like period pains but more like sharp stabbing pains. I even had an ultrasound at six weeks to check for an ectopic and that showed a foetal pole with a flickering heartbeat!

So, ladies, my message to you. Follow your heart. You are the mother and you know your body. If you know something is wrong insist on an ultrasound. I wasn't actually due to have mine in NZ for another two weeks but I insisted to my doctor today I couldn't wait another two weeks as I knew things were awry. And I was right.

We took 18 months to conceive, I am 37 and we wanted this baby so much. All I must tell myself is that I conceived once and I can again. But it hurts so much.

anon136561
Post 120

After two years of trying to get pregnant, six months of those on Clomid and three IUI attempts, I finally became pregnant. The scan at seven weeks showed a strong heartbeat, the scan at eight weeks there was none. My heart felt like it was been torn from my body, and four days later my partner and I opted for a D&C.

Three weeks later I am still bleeding. Is this normal?

Also my emotions are all over the place, and not sure whether or not to try again. Everyone keeps saying things like it will happen, but I feel as if I have lost all hope.

anon133737
Post 119

Four days ago, my fiance and I went in for the first ultrasound and I was supposed to be 11 weeks and one day. We were so excited to finally see the baby and couldn't wait.

The doctor performed a pap and then went straight to the transvaginal ultrasound. he told us that what we were looking at on the screen was one baby, and we were so, so excited, but then everything took a turn for the worse.

he said to us "we should be seeing a heartbeat right about now, but we're not." my heart went insane and i felt the worst feeling in my stomach that I have ever felt. he then tried to find a heartbeat with the doppler -- and yet again, nothing. my heart truly broke.

he let us have a few minutes to ourselves and i cried harder than i had ever cried before. my fiance tried to reassure me by telling me that it wasn't 100 percent and we need to wait and see what happens. so the doc ordered a blood test and told me to get another one done two days later and that later on that day we would find out the results.

a horrible two days went by, and i was anxious and nervous as ever. We went to get blood drawn and then waited until that afternoon to find out results. as soon as the doctor walked in, he asked if i had any bleeding or cramps, which i hadn't hadn't, and right off the bat i knew why he asked that. Then he told us that my hcg levels had dropped by 7000 and that we needed to either take the medication or the d&c.

my fiance and i are both in the military and he was being forced to leave and transfer back to the states (I'm currently in japan) the next day. so i decided against the d&c. it's been three days since i was told to take the meds to push everything out and I'm still so scared.

I've had a bit of bleeding and cramping but nothing big, and i do not want to take the meds. I'd feel like i was betraying my baby and doing something wrong. i know i need to because of infection. I'm just so scared i don't know what to do, and this is all so horrible by myself. Good luck to everyone out there and keep trying. I know I will be once this is all over.

anon131640
Post 118

I'm 39 and have just had a missed miscarriage. I knew something was wrong when last week I started having some light brown spotting. I should have been 11 weeks but a scan showed that the baby had died at 7 1/2 weeks.

I opted for a D and C but changed my mind at the very last minute and decided to wait. I had strong, labour type contractions on Wednesday evening and finally miscarried. I have to say I am glad I am waited because somehow it seemed right to do it naturally rather than have the baby forcefully removed. Having had four children when I was much younger, I wasn't scared by the pain. It was much the same as giving birth but only lasted two hours.

However, I have been told that I have two large pieces of tissue left so am now waiting - hopefully everything will be ok as I really do not want to have a surgical procedure. Does anyone know how long you should wait? I think that doctors are often willing to rush in when there is no need.

My partner does not have children so we wish to try again. The doctor says this is probably a one off, but I can't help but worry. I'm going through all those questions now - what if? I was on anti-depressants and wonder if this had something to do with the outcome.

My GP wants to put me back on them, even though she knows I am going to try again. I'm not sure what to do for the best.

anon130710
Post 117

My heart goes out to all of you. I too went for a scan on Friday just gone and discovered our baby had died at nine weeks, four days. It was heartbreaking. I wanted a D&C to get everything out but my body has kicked in naturally and started to miscarry yesterday.

I have passed most of it tonight after being on the loo nearly two bloody hours. I can finally make peace of knowing my body knows how to deal with things. This is my third miscarriage but have a beautiful 4-year-old as well. She is so grown up and understands what happened. She keeps asking when is the next baby.

I will probably decide at a later date if I may need a D&C but for now I'm ok.

anon127723
Post 116

This website has given me so much comfort.

I am currently experiencing contractions and bleeding heavily and it is the worst feeling in the world.

I should be nearly 11 weeks pregnant. As I'm 40 years old, my midwife had referred me for a Nuchal Scan. As my dating scan fell later than the Nuchal Scan, my midwife sent me to the Early Pregnancy Unit for a routine check and to ask for a date.

My pregnancy had been plain sailing up until then, no bleeding, spotting, nausea, sore breasts etc., so no cause for concern. On the morning of my visit to the EPU I had a slight brown discharge which was apparent in my urine sample. I felt less of a fraud attending the EPU on this basis, but didn't expect what followed. I had an ultrasound scan and asked the sonographer to date the baby. She advised me to empty my bladder and come back for a vaginal ultrasound scan. At the end of this scan she said she had very bad news.

The baby was 6.4 mm long and had no heartbeat, meaning he/she had died at six weeks and two days. I was stunned and devastated.

I went back to the EPU where the sister explained my options. I opted for 'Expectant Management' and I started cramping that evening and cramping and bleeding heavily the following night (last night). I am in absolute agony and don't know how long this pain and suffering will last for. Emotionally I can't even begin to address what has happened whilst the physical pain is so bad. I go back to the hospital for a scan in just under 10 days.

I pray that everything has left my womb by this point and that I don't have to have any further treatment. This was my first and last chance for a baby due to my age and my inability to put myself and my partner through this hell again. I am distraught and feel so cheated. Best wishes to you all.

anon124032
Post 115

I had my first ultrasound a week ago today. After showing me the baby and its size, the technician informed me she couldn't find a heartbeat.

I had no idea what the implications of this were and was happy to move on to an internal ultrasound to find the heartbeat. The technician was so sweet and so apologetic when it still didn't show up and I finally understood what she was telling me. Apparently, my baby had died only a day or two earlier.

I had a d & c procedure yesterday as I couldn't stand waiting any longer and am so glad I did. This has been the hardest experience of my life. The sense of loss, guilt, pain, bereavement is overwhelming. Best wishes to you all. we are stronger when we are united.

anon119787
Post 114

This was our second pregnancy. I lost the last very early back in September of last year. I was supposed to be eight weeks along tomorrow. I had a scan done last Thursday and saw my baby for the first time. I heard the heartbeat and it was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced.

I went to the doctor yesterday to find that there was no heartbeat. I am completely devastated. I feel so alone and don't know what to do next. I haven't had any signs of miscarrying and am not sure if I want to proceed with a D&C. Reading all these posts has made me feel better though. My heart goes out to anyone who has had to go through this.

anon119132
Post 113

About four weeks ago, I did a home pregnancy test and it came out positive. My husband and I were so excited, especially because it was my first pregnancy.

We had plans for this baby, so we decided it was best to register and do an ultrasound at eight weeks so that by then we would see our baby's heart beat during the procedure. Unfortunately, there was no heart beat. The baby stopped growing at five weeks, five days.

I was asked to come back again after one week to do another ultrasound, that maybe I didn't calculate my LMP well. I did the procedure and now there is no gestational sac.

I am so depressed, shocked, have been crying all day. I have no family around me, my husband stays about 860 miles away from where i am, so it's been very difficult for me and i don't know if i will ever get over this.

I pray that one day, God will comfort me and bless me and my husband with a healthy baby that will fill the emptiness and sadness i feel right now. I will be doing a second blood test for my hcg level on monday and I wish this nightmare will end one day.

anon118980
Post 112

In sept 09 i went for my routine checkup. i was 26 weeks along and they found a perfect heartbeat but also that my baby had no lungs, which meant my baby wouldn't survive once he was born. We were devastated. i gave birth to my beautiful baby boy just one week later, after seven hours of hard labour and nothing at the end.

We then had a private little funeral and gave him a lovely send off. i waited two and a half months and got pregnant again.I found out in jan 10 I was pregnant again but was so frightened. we had regular visits to the hospital. we went for our 20 week scan in may 10 to find out we were having a healthy baby boy. just five days later i went to the hospital with some spotting. the doctor in the er room told me that the membranes were visible and that we were going to lose our baby again.

i couldn't believe what i was hearing. i just kept thinking this couldn't be happening to us again. Six hours later i gave birth to our other son. he was just perfect and i was just waiting on him to wake up -- he looked so peaceful. the midwife who was on that night was so mean towards us. she said we would just have to try again. a few days later we buried him with our other son and they have each other now.

After five months, we built up the courage to try again. i went for my third checkup this month to find no heartbeat. i should have been 10 weeks pregnant but once again it ended in tears. i also took the tablets from the doctor to help pass it myself.

i just don't know where to go from here. Where just heartbroken. has anyone else had to go through something similar? I've one bit of hope for all you women out there. I also have a beautiful daughter. She's eight. i just want someone to tell me why this has happened to me the last three times.

anon118091
Post 111

I have had three consecutive missed miscarriages (12 weeks partial mole, nine weeks trisomy 16 and 10 weeks trisomy 21 -down syndrome) so I know all of the pain you ladies have been going through, and I would not wish it on anyone.

In all three I had no idea, no cramping and not a spot of blood. Try and get as much support as you can, especially with women who have been through it as well. I personally did not get much comfort from women who have never had one. Not their fault I know, but it's impossible for them to really understand what I was going through.

i am now almost 15 weeks and everything looked great at the 13 week scan, but I can't help but still be scared about it. i don't think i will truly be at ease until the baby is born. Three times bitten, six times shy perhaps? Good luck to all of us ladies and for healthy future pregnancies.

anon117505
Post 110

Though I am very sorry that this has happened to everyone, I know I'm not alone. I was supposed to be 13 weeks today, but I too had a missed miscarriage. My baby was only 5 1/2 weeks. This would have been my first baby and the first grandchild for my parents.

I was really looking forward to this pregnancy. But after so much though, I now understand that there was nothing I can do. Tomorrow I will have to do a D&C. Though I'm really scared, I know that I have support from family and friends.

Sometimes I feel it's unfair for people who don't want children actually have them and the people who want them have to try harder. At least I have one more night to be with my baby (sorry if that sounds weird). But I know I can try again in a few months. Bless everyone who has to go through this.

anon115984
Post 109

i found out in september that i had had a missed miscarriage. i should have been 13 weeks pregnant but the baby had stopped growing at eight weeks.

I was admitted for an early scan due to a small amount of bleeding and i decided to let nature take its course and miscarry naturally.

i can honestly say it was the most painful and horrific thing I've ever been through, but it strangely has given me some closure.

its now been nearly two weeks since and my bleeding is slowing down and I only have mild cramps. I have my all clear scan this week so I'm hoping for the all clear so I can finally get back on with my life.

this was my first pregnancy and me and my husband were so excited about the future. Fingers crossed it will happen for us in the future.

anon112285
Post 108

I have read all the comments and I realize that I'm not the only one. my first pregnancy was a miscarriage. I was only six weeks along and it was so sad for us. Imagine, our first baby.

Then three months later I got pregnant, and it went well. I have a baby girl. She was premature. During my second pregnancy I had lots of blood tests to check my levels so we could be sure that everything was going fine.

Last week I went for a prenatal appointment and my doctor told us that there wasn't a heartbeat and now tomorrow I have another appointment to see if there is any hope for us.

anon107928
Post 106

i would like to share with everyone my recent loss. About five weeks ago i found out i was pregnant. this would have been my sixth baby.

last week i started to have very bad back pain but never thought anything of it. then i started to get a pink discharge when i went to the toilet.

i got a bit concerned as I've never had this before, so i went to the doctor who then sent me for a scan. They told me i was eight weeks along. This was the end of the week, but said they couldn't find a heartbeat. they then told me they would need to do an internal scan to find it.

After a couple of minutes i was told my baby had died at seven weeks, four days. i was shocked. i couldn't think straight, then was told i had three options on how my baby could be removed. i just couldn't handle being told my baby had gone and now I have decisions.

next morning i woke up with a very sore back and stomach pains. i started to miscarry myself. i still have to go back for another scan, which I'm not looking forward to, as it's just going to bring that moment back. it's hard to deal with and my heart goes out to everyone who has to go through this.

anon107696
Post 105

I am currently going through the same thing.

I have been on clomid for nine months and finally caught in June. We were so happy after all this time and the fertility nurses telling us that we would need ivf, we were finally going to see our baby in black and white on a scan at 10 weeks, five days.

We weren't told much -- just that she saw something measuring six weeks, six days. We weren't told there is no heart beat or any baby or anything -- the midwife just gave us leaflets on miscarriages and booked another scan three weeks later.

We still have another two weeks before that scan and I haven't had no sign of miscarriage. No bleeding, no discharge, no pains.

This has been the longest time ever waiting around for the unknown. Reading sites like this helps a lot.

anon107375
Post 104

I am going through this right now and am devastated. Should be 10 weeks but have just discovered baby died at six weeks. Horrified and very sad, as a natural miscarriage now appears to be taking its course. I have to go back to hospital in a week to confirm.

My husband works overseas so can't be here and like others this is our first at age 40. All our excitement and plans feel like they have been taken away. Trying to be philosophical but it is hard. Love to all.

anon101725
Post 103

I miscarried my baby in February. i was almost 11 weeks. my fiancé and I were so excited. we had just gotten an ultrasound done and were kind of nervous because they tried telling me that i was only five and a half weeks along when i was supposed to be ten.

I had just gotten an e coli infection in my bladder and the doctors assured me it wouldn't hurt the baby and they also decided not to tell me that my QAT levels had dropped over half from my beginning checkup.

A week later i woke up, soaked in blood. We immediately called my doctor and he told me strict bed rest until the bleeding had slowed. later that night i started having very, very painful contractions. we went to the ER where the ultrasound technician, not meaning to, said, "yep you're completely empty." i couldn't say anything -- all i could do was cry.

They used forceps to pull out the rest of our baby. when we left i was told more bed rest. i never had to have a D&C but they told me that if my QUAT levels didn't drop below 5 i would need one.

Did the e coli medicine that they gave me have anything to do with me miscarrying?

anon100238
Post 102

I just went for my nine week scan today and they said development stopped at week six. I've been crying all day from shock and utter disappointment. I've been told that its best to let it pass naturally but how long will that take and now I'm reading from some of you that infections and particles can remain. Is the D and C the best thing to do? Should I insist and book one now?

anon100094
Post 101

Went to the doctor today for my 10 week ultrasound and was told there was no heartbeat, that the baby had stopped growing and with in the sac stage. I'm not sure when it had stopped growing. I am devastated, but grateful that I have three other children who are healthy.

anon96016
Post 100

I had a missed miscarriage some time before my 12th week back in February (it's now July). I only found out at my 12 week scan that there was no sign of a fetal heartbeat and they could only see the pregnancy sac.

I had a D&C straight after this scan, but continued to bleed for six weeks after. After this I had one normal period. The following month I started hemorrhaging badly, passing clots bigger than my fist. I was hospitalised and sent home with blood clotting pills and painkillers. That was two months ago and I haven't stopped bleeding since. An abdominal scan two weeks ago showed 'nothing abnormal', so no further investigation happened, although I knew that it was not normal to bleed for two months constantly.

I went to my doctor and she said my scan was normal and so nothing was wrong so just gave me more blood clotting pills to reduce the bleeding and stronger painkillers. Then this Saturday I was doubled over and vomiting with pain and ended up in A&E. The hospital gynaecologist examined me and said she could see 'something inside me.' I was referred for yet another scan, this time vaginal, which showed that I still had placenta and retained pregnancy products inside me - five months after my miscarriage! I am now on 22 painkillers and antibiotics a day until next Wednesday when I have to have another D&C to remove what they missed the first time around.

I feel angry that this was missed and my bleeding ignored by my GP. I am also upset that five months on, I am having to relieve the physical and emotional pain of my miscarriage.

Sorry to go on a bit in this post, but I just wanted to share this with you and to offer advice that if you feel that something isn't right with your body, please keep pushing for some sort of resolution and for something to be done. The doctors often get it wrong.

I am just thankful a that I didn't get blood poisoning or a serious infection from this. And I still don't know whether it has affected my fertility yet, which scares me as I don't have any children yet.

anon94098
Post 99

i am so glad i found this website. my heart goes out to you all. My partner and I went through the same thing.

i was so happy i found out i was pregnant. My body started changing -- the lot -- then i started getting belly pains and my mam said it was because i was changing.

A week before my first scan i had very bad cramps and woke up the next day and i was fine later at dinner time.

i went to get in the bath and i went to the toilet first then noticed a bit of brown discharge so i rang my midwife. she saw me there and then and said to go to A&E. i took a wee sample then they sent me up to the antenatal clinic.

Someone never turned up for a scan and my partner said who would do that. i said they might have miscarried so ask. i went in there and i was on the bed. they asked me how far i was and i said 13 weeks so they did what they had to do.

i saw the remains of my baby but it had died at six weeks. i found it hard to speak and just cried and cried. i had a D&C and i am now trying again so fingers crossed for me and all of you.

anon90890
Post 98

went yesterday to the hospital for my first scan all excited with my partner, had all the tests and met the midwife and all. they gave me my due date of 16th of december and said i was 14 weeks pregnant and told me to wait for the doc so i could have my scan.

so up i popped on the bed and he put the scan on my belly and there i looked and there was an empty sac. He kept asking loads of questions like do you feel pregnant or had any bleeding? of course i told him, i have had really bad morning sickness every day since the start, sore boobs, and they have grown two sizes, i have felt stretching of uterus and no cramping or bleeding, so though everything was normal.

so all the doc said was sorry but there was no baby inside and he couldn't actually see anything, so he shook our hands and sent us off. No answers, only to come back on morning for my options. we're lost and gutted and can't believe how happy we started off yesterday to end in such pain. Can't wait to start trying again to fill the empty hole. just so confused and can't wait to get answers in two days.

anon90442
Post 97

Well, let me see. This is my sixth pregnancy. I lost all early except for the first. The first time I made it to eight weeks and had a partial miscarriage! Unknowingly, I had not expelled all fetal tissue and went into blood sepsis! It was only one week after I had started miscarrying that my body and immune system could not handle it!

Fortunately for me, my ob/gyn acted quickly which saved my life. They did an emergency d&c and placed me on four different antibiotics around the clock for four days -- all IV. I only mention it here on this blog because I believe my unwillingness to act and wanting to pass the tissue "naturally" has caused my body to reject all other pregnancies I have had since.

Please do not use the web as sound medical advice, but use it as a way to gather questions to ask your ob gyn or fertility specialist.

Hopefully one day I will be able to forgive myself for thinking I knew best.

anon90264
Post 96

I have been reading all of your posts and my heart goes out to each and every one of you. I too suffered a missed miscarriage in March.

I had absolutely no signs of a miscarriage i went for my 12 week scan with my partner, with both of us as happy as can be, just waiting to see our little angel moving about on the monitor.

Straight away i was worried as our baby was not moving at all. They did an internal scan which worried me even more i knew at that point that there was something really wrong.

When the words came out of the sonographer's mouth, "I'm sorry your baby has no heartbeat" we were both devastated. My baby had grown to eight weeks old and then passed away.

I had an evacuation as i could not bear the thought of carrying a dead baby around with me. My emotions were all over the place and it was really hard to accept. My body was telling me i was definitely pregnant, but my mind knew otherwise. It was so conflicting.

I now find myself five weeks pregnant again, and I'm petrified that it's going to happen all over again. I don't know how I'm ever going to relax and enjoy this pregnancy, but fingers toes and everything crossed that this time everything will turn out OK.

I will let you know what happens. God bless all of you.

anon89763
Post 95

I started to spot dark brown spots in the early hours of Sat morning. First pregnancy and I was absolutely petrified. Would have been just over nine weeks at this stage.

My husband phoned around and after speaking to a few medical professionals we ended up in A&E. All they did was take a urine test and give me an appointment for 48 hours later. Hormone level still showed I was pregnant. Still felt pregnant, although never experienced any sickness throughout.

On the Monday after, we attended the EPP clinic and after an internal scan they found the sac and foetus but no heartbeat. They said the dates could be wrong as the foetus was only measuring six weeks, three days. I was devastated and knew in my heart that my baby was dead.

They said they couldn't call it but said at this stage that it was a threatened miscarriage at this point and told me to go home and come back in a week to see if the baby had grown.

I had been reading too much on the internet and just knew that my baby was no longer! Warning: The internet can be a curse.

I couldn't wait a week and ended up back in EPP four days later. Yesterday, Friday they confirmed the worst: a missed miscarriage, but thanks to the internet i had already diagnosed this.

In that week i have had every conceivable emotion a woman could experience and i know they say it is so common, one in four. Doesn't help though!

My trauma now is deciding what method to use now to expel my baby, which i have been carrying inside, dead for almost four weeks, as i would have been 10 weeks yesterday.

I am so frightened to have a D&C in case it damages my womb. I'm almost 39 and don't have long left to have a family. I just want my own children and hope that one day in the very near future that God will allow me to be blessed with them.

We all have to stay positive; it's all we have. Unfortunately this was my first pregnancy, and i don't know if it's worse because i can't look at other children and say, 'well at least i have been blessed with them.'

Don't give up folks. We're stronger than this, we can be and deserve to be mothers!

anon86595
Post 94

My husband and I went in for a normal check up and the doctor told us that they didn't see a heart beating. I was 12 weeks along but the fetus had stopped growing at around 11 weeks. This is our second miscarriage. No one can be ready for the news that your new baby to be, that you've day dreamed about, is not alive.

I went in and had a D&C done because I didn't want to "see it" when it came out. How much pain can one person go though? The D&C was quick and I am now able to try to heal and I don't know if I will ever try again or not.

I don't know if I could go though this again. My heart is broken and I will never be the same again for as long as I live.

anon85604
Post 93

I found out two days ago at my 20wk morphology ultrasound my baby had stopped growing at 13 weeks and had no fetal heartbeat. I went to my doctor that afternoon and to the hospital the following day.

The doctor at the hospital has advised me that a D&C is too dangerous, as the baby had grown past the size for a D&C. My only other option is to induce labour. I now have to wait another three days until this will happen. I'm extremely upset and can't explain how horrible it feels to think you are going to find out the sex of your baby but instead you find out that for the last seven weeks I have been carrying it around dead.

I have two children already which were born by Cesarean because my cervix does not soften and dilate. I'm now concerned that I'm not going to be able to pass this baby naturally and have to have another c-section. I feel for every one who has been through this and just hope time will help heal our pain.

anon85214
Post 92

I know what you guys are going through. I had a missed miscarriage back in September. I went to my doctor's appointment at six weeks and everything was fine, I heard the heartbeat and was so excited.

I went back for my 12 week appointment and the ultrasound tech told me she couldn't find a heartbeat. I was devastated. I had no signs or symptoms that I even had a miscarriage, no bleeding, I still felt tired, had frequent urination and my breasts were still sore.

I did not have morning sickness at all during the pregnancy. I had a D&C as as soon as possible, because the thought of a dead baby inside me broke my heart over and over again.

I still think about my little angel baby. I am pregnant again, hitting 11 weeks and I am so nervous that something could go wrong. I see the doctor tomorrow for an ultrasound, and I'm praying that everything is ok and I my baby will get a clean bill of health. I have morning sickness, breast tenderness, and I'm exhausted.

I hope these are good signs, but I'm not sure since I had no sign of missed miscarriage the last time.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

anon84561
Post 91

I sadly had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. The baby had died approx one to two weeks before. I had experienced a little lower back pain and then brown spotting which turned to red. I knew something was not right -- I no longer felt pregnant.

I saw my baby on an ultra sound scan, and there was no movement. he/she has gone to sleep forever. I was given two pictures which helps me in accepting what has happened.

I waited 24 hours before the operation to remove my little one from my tummy. I was very sad. I somehow felt that the baby should not be removed and that it should stay in me, safe and protected.

After the operation, I was actually ok. Something I had not thought of was that at three months pregnant, I did have a little bump and had put on weight. I now have baby weight but no baby. Still feel sad.

anon84203
Post 90

I recently had a miscarriage. I was six weeks and four days pregnant as per the ultrasound. Since the first day i had discharge in different colors pink, red, brown and so on... even foetal node was present in my gestational sac.

but unfortunately on wednesday midnight I had severe cramps and the bleeding started with many pieces of flesh. it continued until five in the morning.

when i went to the doctor in the morning around 10 a.m., she said why have you come when you had a miscarriage? i requested her to do a checkup and give some tablets or injections so that any remains of foetus left in the womb will move away.

She inserted two tablets into my vagina and said there were still some remains is in the womb and suggested for cleaning. but i know that i had heavy lumps discharge, about one pound in weight and severe bleeding.

I decided not to go for a D&C. i am praying to god to give me strength that there are no infections in future for me. please friends pray for me.

anon84187
Post 89

My first was a year ago. I was seven weeks and they heard the heart beat, then a week later the doctor informed me that i had had a miscarriage. my heart is still broken a year later. it never goes away and the pain is always there.

anon83293
Post 88

i have had two confirmed miscarriages. The first was a day before the 15th week and i had to have a d and c. You never forget when they say I'm sorry your baby has passed away; there's no heart beat. That was eight years ago and I still always think of the baby I named sydney because will never know if it was a boy or girl.

Then i had my beautiful son. Then was pregnant again but lost it within two weeks of finding out. Now, two years on, I'm pregnant again. I just found out. I really want my son to have a brother or sister but i and not getting my hopes up as the miscarriages really cut deep.

I feel for you all who have lost a child. You don't forget; you just learn to go on.

anon82725
Post 87

I was 10 weeks pregnant and started to have brown discharge and other unpleasant discharge coming out. The doctor sent me to epu and they scanned me. They were uncertain about my dates. They said if the baby was alive then my dates are wrong as the baby is six weeks old, but if my dates are correct then the baby stopped growing five weeks ago and I've started to miscarry.

I have to go back next thursday for a scan to determine if the baby has died, and then they will proceed with removing it. I hate the idea of having a tummy on me and my body still thinking its pregnant, knowing there is not a live baby inside and there may be a possibility it's been dead for five weeks. It's heart breaking.

anon78544
Post 86

In 2005 I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks. My baby had a heartbeat at seven weeks in an early ultrasound. I was heartbroken to find out my baby had stopped growing and died inside me.

I had three other children at home and a husband who were just as upset as I was. We lost our baby and I didn't understand why. I had a D&C and emotionally it was very hard as I felt so bad and wonder what I did to have caused my unborn baby to pass.

After getting through the pain of losing our baby, I wanted to try again and exactly three months after the D&C my doctor said it was okay to try again if I was ready. I needed to fill the hole in my heart with having another child and the Lord blessed us with a beautiful baby boy one year and one month after our loss.

Don't give up if you really want a child. It has been five years and I still feel the loss of not being able to carry out the pregnancy we lost. I have our four beautiful children now but deep inside as a mom you don't forget.

anon78420
Post 85

i had a missed miscarriage at just under eight weeks pregnant. I'd started bleeding two weeks before and went straight to a&e, and they said it would be too early to detect a heartbeat with an ultrasound so they sent me home with an appointment for nine days later.

I spotted for the next few days but as I'd not lost any clots i felt optimistic that everything would be ok. i did suffer with severe back pain though, which i didn't remember having in my first pregnancy (i know each pregnancy is different).

My ultrasound day came, it was an anxious wait, and they did an external scan and couldn't detect a heartbeat so proceeded with a vaginal internal scan. I still had hope that the external scan had got it wrong, but no, it hadn't. it was confirmed I'd had a missed miscarriage. i had a d&c two days later, and i was so scared.

I bled for one day after then it stopped, now I've started bleeding again three days later. The emotional trauma is bad enough without my body playing tricks on me.

I was so ignorant about miscarriage before this and i don't think anyone can understand unless it's happened to them.

anon78411
Post 84

I just had a miscarriage. It was terrible and so sad. It's only been a few days but I don't know how I will go back to normal life. I had contractions the last two days which were terrible. Then today I passed it. It was awful. I sat there and cried.

This was our first pregnancy. To all of you going through this, remember, the darkness falls heavy but the joy comes with the morning. Don't give up hope! You will be a mommy someday.

anon78407
Post 83

I found out I had a missed miscarriage in March and i thought i would be 12 weeks along but found out the baby had stopped growing at 11 weeks. I had a scan at seven weeks to see a healthy baby moving with a heartbeat.

This has to be the hardest thing anyone would have to go through. I will never forget the baby I lost and I never want to. RIP my baby.

anon73651
Post 82

Baby dust and love going out to all of you.

anon73650
Post 81

On Friday I had a scan and found I'd had a missed miscarriage at six weeks. I'm lying in bed in pain and hardly bleeding. I've had heavier periods.

I'm just wondering how long it takes to pass naturally and should I be bleeding more? I still have sore boobs like I'm pregnant.

anon69321
Post 79

i am sorry to hear about your losses, but just like you, all i had a missed miscarriage in late January. i was eight weeks and six days, i went for a scan because i was getting period-like pains. the local birthing centre told me no to worry if there weren't any signs of bleeding.

A few days later, the pains got worse so i phoned my doctor's office and they asked me to come straight down.

When i got there, they feared I had an ectopic pregnancy due to the pain so i went to the hospital, and when i got to the hospital they were feeling around at my belly and asking me if i have got pains here there and everywhere, which i didn't; all i had was period like pains.

then decided to take my blood. one hour later, my blood came back as normal and everything was fine. but they decided to book me in for a scan the follow monday at 3.30, so I went for the scan and the lady said sorry but your baby doesn't have a heartbeat. Not something you want to hear.

i knew there was a possibility of a miscarriage but just like everybody else you never think it will happen to you.

the follow wednesday, two days later, i was booked in for a d&c. i was the first to have it done and didn't have much pain or bleeding after. It's now been six weeks on wednesday. For the first two weeks and five days after, i bled very lightly then i stopped for a week and two days and then started bleeding again, more like a red red colour that seemed to look like a period.

I went to the doctor explained and he said it would be my body trying to kick back in and it's more than likely to be a period.

I asked whether it could be tissue that's been left behind and he said no, otherwise I wouldn't have stopped bleeding for a whole week.

The bleeding stopped this wednesday. that's just gone and everything seemed ok. today, sunday, i went to the ladies and noticed some more bleeding.

i am just worried. i can handle the fact i have lost my baby but the bleeding is getting beyond a joke now. has anybody been through the same and has any advice, please?

anon67385
Post 78

For all of you out there that have miscarried and are scared to try again, i miscarried at 11 weeks, just before i was due to have my scan.

i was on holiday and started bleeding light at first, then really heavy. i miscarried twins, whom i saw, over the course of five days.

it was the worst experience ever, but the weird thing is, after being pregnant and having a live birth (my daughter is three). it felt wrong from the beginning. i just felt far too ill for it to be normal. At nine weeks my belly suddenly deflated and i was quite pleased, as i was trying to keep it secret.

i didn't tell anyone this time as it felt wrong from day one, weird. I told everyone i was pregnant with my first as soon as i found out.

I am not pregnant again, and soon to be having my first scan. i feel healthy and happy and pregnant as i should feel and I'm hoping that all will be well.

I can only say, you must try again, and it will happen, but unfortunately all the joy i felt at my first pregnancy is not here yet, not until i know everything will be well. good luck to you all.

anon67127
Post 77

I have had three miscarriages: two missed and the other with bleeding. For the first two, I had to undergo a D&C. It has been a horrible experience.

My family did not support me and many friends have been very callous.

I am 43 now and do not wish to get pregnant again and go through this emotional rollercoaster. This situation even affected our marriage and we were close to divorce last year because I was taking my anger and frustration out on my husband. Fortunately, we are doing better with the help of weekly marriage counseling. I still feel deep sadness and it hurts to see baby things in stores, going to baby showers, etc.

People tell me to adopt but I'm not sure if I'll feel the same way about an adopted child as I would towards a biological one. I pray that all of the ladies in this page find a happy ending, including me.

anon66687
Post 76

I am sorry for all your losses. I was 10 weeks and six days and all was well went for a check up on the monday and the doctor said that the other twin was being absorbed and all was well. I had a routine urine test and I had an infection. When I asked the doctor if that was normal he just said not to worry it was probably from my discharge.

But by Thursday night I started heavy cramping like labour pains and went to the doctor in the morning as I started spotting. He did a scan and we saw our baby still alive but the other sac had burst and I had a cyst on my ovary which had burst as well. I was so happy to see at least one alive.

He put me on strict bed rest and gave me antibiotics. By 15:30 I started to bleed heavily and sat in a bath of water and placenta started to come out. When my baby came out he was still moving. It took another four hours to push the rest out, and I tell you it was like labour.

At least I have my other two children to love but that day I will never forget. The doctor said I cannot have any more children as I have a kidney disease. I will never forget my baby.

To all the other woman out there who have been through the same thing, never give up hope.

anon66438
Post 75

My prayers to everyone who lost their baby. My husband and I went for the first time in the clinic and found out that our embryo is seven weeks old and in the right position. Her/His heart beat is 143. We are so happy and excited for this good news. My husband told everyone! He is so proud soon to be daddy. A blessings from God has received.

Being pregnant for almost 11 weeks now feels so good because I don't have any nausea, vomiting and fatigue. I said to myself that I am one of the luckiest pregnant in the world. I don't feel I am pregnant.

On Wednesday, we had another ultrasound /transvaginal ultrasound. My baby is supposed to be 11 weeks. My husband and I were terrified to find out that our baby stopped developing at wight weeks and had no heartbeat. I couldn't stop crying, thinking that I am carrying a baby with no life inside me. It feels so weird. So depressing.

Wednesday night, we went to check my blood and my HCG is still high. Its 5000. Another blood sample will be drawn tonight. And on monday, we will go to another doctor, and see for a second opinion. We are still hoping that they just made a mistake. Or that they just can't read the ultrasound machine well. I am holding on for hopes.

I think it is better to have a second opinion to make sure everything will turn out fine. But I do believe if this is not meant for us to have a baby, God will give us another one, more healthier and beautiful. God has the reasons why. All we have to do is accept it and believe in him! God bless everyone.

anon65324
Post 74

I went to get my ultrasound at nine weeks and I was told there was no heartbeat and that the baby had stopped growing at six weeks. I cried hysterically while my husband and I waited for the doctor to confirm this.

I got a D&C the next day and was very upset for while. I can honestly say I didn't really try until eight months later. It has been really hard for me and so many friends and relatives around me seem to be pregnant. I wish them the best but it is hard to be around them sometimes.

I am just going to put it in God's hands.

anon65010
Post 73

wow. I am praying for all those who have gone through this, including me. That paranoia is always there.

i too experienced a missed miscarriage. At 10 weeks my baby was measuring nine weeks and four days. the night before i found out i saw brownish discharge on my panties. the next morning i went for regular blood tests and i really needed to use the bathroom.

i passed a clot and that's when i knew something was wrong. It is scary and surreal. i too am currently pregnant after an eight month gap since the previous loss.

i have decided that if things go wrong this time, my husband and i will go in for adoption. after all, i want one child that i can love and live for. God we as women are not asking too much. Please don't make us go through this again. give us the strength to carry this baby to full term.

anon64204
Post 72

I just had a D and C done today. Two days ago I had an ultrasound at 10.5 weeks. I wasn't there for an ultrasound but the doctor said they thought they could fit me in if I wanted to see the heartbeat.

My heart was broken when the technician said, "Here is your gestational sac, there is no embryo and no fetus." I broke down in tears with my husband next to me.

Apparently the embryo never attached to my uterus because there was nothing to be found in the ultrasound. I did find it a relief that my baby didn't get as far as even having a heartbeat. That would have been more difficult for me to bear.

Still, I wept aloud various times for the next couple of days but today more than ever I have felt God hold me and comfort my grieving spirit. Be comforted, God is intimately acquainted with grief and He is our refuge. Blessings, MLB

anon62971
Post 71

It is great that I found this website. I just had a D&C performed last week. This was my first pregnancy and my fiance's second. I had already begun to show, my pants were fitting tight, I had a small baby bump going. We were so excited to go and see our baby for the first time. I was 10 weeks and two days on Monday when we went for our ultrasound.

Since everyone around us was telling us we were going to have twins, we were a little nervous. As soon as the baby appeared on the screen, I sensed there was something wrong. "Is that the baby?" "Yes, it is. The baby is measuring 10 weeks two days." After a few minutes of silence, the ultrasound lady says, "I'm sorry there is no heartbeat." She suddenly looked like she was 50 miles away and I had tunnel vision. Everything but her face was dark.

I could hear my fiance say, "Are you serious?" And I heard her say it a few more times. Then the tears came. I lost it, broke down in hysterics. They gave us a few minutes in the ultrasound room to be together.

The whole time I cried, just starring at my baby on the screen. Something just didn't look right.

Next were sitting in my doctor's office waiting, and waiting. Apparently he had been out on a call at the hospital, so we waited for nearly an hour.

He comes in with my chart. I can see the ultrasound of my baby. He tells us the baby stopped developing at around eight weeks. That it was nothing we had done wrong. That it was a chance occurrence that at conception some chromosomes didn't properly pass from sperm to egg or vice versa. This caused the baby to be able to develop up to the point that the missing information was needed.

I just sat there crying. It seems that even though my baby never passed the development of an embryo, my body continued to grow and nurture it? That must be a good sign, right? That my body can support a baby, but it was just bad luck?

He told us our options: wait it out or have a D&C performed the next day. I opted for the D&C because I couldn't stand the thought that my baby has been dead inside of me for the past two weeks. I was heartbroken.

The next day, we went to the hospital and it was over before I knew it. I woke up at five minutes to 1:00, holding my stomach and crying.

I want to be a mother more than anything. I waited so long for this baby, and now it's just gone. The thought that something like this could happen never crossed my mind. You never think that it would happen to you.

We planned for this baby. I feel so lost and empty, but having found this website, as much as I would never wish this upon anyone, I don't feel so alone. There are four other people I know who are pregnant right now, all having conceived right around the same time.

I know this summer will be a rough one, but I pray everyday for the strength to get through this. My baby was due August 21st, maybe by then I will be pregnant again?

How long until I start feeling better? It has only been three days since the procedure was done, and I am bleeding now like a light-normal period, but with cramps of an awful one. My stomach has already gone back to normal. But I just feel so sad. I am only 22 so I know I have plenty of time to try again. But it's just the fact that I wanted this baby so bad and now it's gone. Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this?

anon60885
Post 70

I appreciate all of your comments. We just went to the doctor on Friday to listen to our baby's heartbeat. At 7 1/2 weeks, the nurse practitioner determined that the baby had only grown to six weeks and two days -- and there was no heartbeat. I was automatically scheduled for D & C on this coming Monday, but after thinking about it, my husband and I decided to go for second ultrasound. We just want to make sure we gave our baby every opportunity.

I have not been able to stop crying after our diagnosis, but I know this is God's will for our baby's life and if in fact we don't get the outcome that we want with second ultrasound we will try again.

But I will never forget this experience, and how much in love I was with the life growing inside of me.

anon60793
Post 69

I was 15 weeks with my first miscarriage and I had a spontaneous miscarriage. I saw everything! It was my first pregnancy and I was so excited. I hadn't had any doctor's appointments, and when it happened, I saw that I had miscarried a set of twins.

I got pregnant again and I went to the ER at seven weeks. There was a heartbeat. I went back at 12 weeks because I was spotting, and saw just a sac, and went to the doctor and they didn't see a heartbeat. I had lost the baby at eight weeks, and didn't know for four weeks. I had D&Cs with both.

I am currently 10 weeks pregnant, and am scared to death. The pain of a miscarriage never goes away, but it does get easier. If you've had more than two miscarriages, talk to your doctor about blood tests, and see about blood clotting disorders. Because unfortunately, that's why I kept miscarrying.

Good luck to all the ladies out there. All of our angels are playing together in Heaven.

anon60036
Post 68

In response to: " i was devastated, and with this being our first pregnancy i am so scared to try again.

For anyone who has had this happen to you, they know what i mean. that thought that will always be in the back of your head. the worrying that never ends.

- anon57358"

I know exactly how you feel, as I was at 10 weeks and my baby was also 8.5 weeks. We were ecstatic as this was also our first pregnancy, and that day is engraved in my memory forever.

I am so scared not to be able to have a child now, yet so scared to go through the pain of losing one again. I finally miscarried three days later, at home, without meds or anything.

The worst feeling in the world is knowing you have lost a baby, and yet he is still there inside you and i always wished I could just tell him hold on, come back to me, but it's too late for that and I am now getting over it all I guess, not that I will ever completely recover.

a part of me is up in the heavens with my baby.

Never forgotten, always loved.

anon59230
Post 67

My husband and I went in around six weeks because I was having some spotting. My HCG levels were 45000 and everything seemed fine except my progesterone. I was started on progesterone that day. Doctor said there was never any guarantees but it looked good!

We went in for the eight weeks checkup and got to see a heart rate of 172, his limbs, head, and spinal cord. We were elated! Everything was perfect. Went in for our 10 week checkup with no idea that they would not be able to find a heart rate with the Doppler or transvaginal ultrasound. I knew as soon as I looked up on the screen. The baby was just there, lifeless, with no heartbeat. It looked bigger to us but I think that was just in our imaginations and wanting to hope, or it could've been swelling setting in?

I go in for a D and C on Friday. I never had any cramping (or what I thought was cramping- had a weird feeling that I just thought was my bowels) or any more bleeding. When I think back now and it is all coming together. Why were my HCG levels so high? I was worried because at the six week ultrasound the baby was not moving at all (is that normal?). And when I started my 10 weeks, my nausea, vomiting, and sore breasts just stopped all at once. It's devastating. I thought about the baby continuously when I was pregnant.

I still think about things and plans and I have to remind myself that the baby is no longer alive. Its really hard waiting on my D and C, knowing the baby is still inside of me.

anon58610
Post 66

Why do people say "It is for the best, something must have been wrong with the baby" or "you can try again soon" ?

Something inside me screams out loud as it was not just any baby, it was my baby.

I had a miss at 11 weeks. A routine scan showed no heartbeat and a baby lying there, lifeless. I have two children already and when I got pregnant for the third time, the word miscarriage was not in my vocabulary. the very idea of something like that happening after two normal pregnancies was absurd. A naive mistake. It can happen at anytime and to anyone.

The grief I feel is hard to describe. I felt that as a mother I should have been able to protect my baby. That no one had consulted me, that my baby's life had been snatched away so suddenly.

I cried for two weeks, especially at night, as that was when the enormity of what I had lost would set in.

I had hopes and dreams for my baby, I had even a short list of names. I yearn to be pregnant again every day yet I have a deep fear of something like this happening again. I don't think I could go through this again.

It has been six weeks now and I am slowly getting on with my life. Sometimes when I think of my loss or when I see another baby, something clutches my heart and twists it. I suppose the biggest cruelty of all is that I will never cuddle or hold my little son or daughter.

I will never forget you.

anon57358
Post 65

My boyfriend and I were very anxious and excited to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time! At 12 and a half weeks we went to our appt. with video camera in hand.

I had an appointment two weeks prior to this one to see it at the time, but it was too soon to hear the baby's heartbeat then.

I have a tilted uterus, and when she explained to me then that condition could have had something to do with not being able to hear the heartbeat that early on. she went ahead and scheduled me for the following two weeks.

I didn't worry too much. I was only ten and a half weeks and my mom was not able to hear mine or my sister's till 12 and fourteen weeks.

So here we are in this little room, with complete silence: Me, brad and the midwife. the only sound you could hear was the whooshing of my veins as she slides the doppler across my belly.

a little discouraged she grabs a second doppler. still nothing. so then she went to the ultrasound. I felt I was lying there for hours as i watched her explore the screen in hopes of a little miracle. But when her face went blank i knew something was wrong.

She started off by telling us she located the baby but she didn't have good news. there was no heartbeat.

I turned towards brad. his facial expressions were unreadable. i went blank. moments later we were sent to another room to do an alternate ultrasound. the screen was facing away from us at first, and the moment she showed us the baby i started crying. i had miscarried two weeks prior to then.

the baby measured at 8 and a half weeks, with little arms and legs. i was devastated, and with this being our first pregnancy i am so scared to try again.

For anyone who has had this happen to you, they know what i mean. that thought that will always be in the back of your head. the worrying that never ends.

anon56939
Post 64

I am very sorry to hear about everyone's loss. I went in for my 12 week check up and ultrasound yesterday and found out my baby's heart had stopped and development had stopped around 10.5 weeks.

In my teens I had complications of the fallopian tubes and was told numerous things from trying to conceive would be difficult and I may run risk for ectopic pregnancies. In October, after being sick for two weeks, something told me to take a pregnancy test - which came out positive. Dream come true. I had an ultrasound the following day to find out I was five weeks pregnant and was scheduled to come back in at seven weeks. When I went in at seven weeks I could see the little flicker on the screen and things were really a reality then.

Then came on the 24/7 nausea, I was severely dehydrated at 10 weeks and in the hospital for 2 days, but in week 11 things started getting much better, with occasional morning sickness. When I went in yesterday, I never imagined being told my baby was no longer living. It is all such a blur and all I remember the doctor saying is something regarding a chromosome issue, and it not being my fault, and he measured something on the ultrasound behind the baby's neck - which I guess confirmed everything after not being able to see a heartbeat.

I have elected to have the D&C done because it has been almost two weeks since the baby passed and I have had no signs, and I feel it's the only way to move on and cherish the moments I did have being a mommy. My deepest sympathies are with everyone and the most important thing to remember is a lot of times it is nothing you did, it is your body's way of telling you something is wrong.

Stay strong and I wish everyone healthy future pregnancies. :)

anon55019
Post 63

i just found out my baby died at seven weeks and i carried it into my 11th week. I opted for medical treatment, I'm bleeding well and i feel it's helping me to grieve, feeling the pain makes it real. I'm still in shock and hoping it will expel without problems.

my heart is broken and i pray one day i will have a child. I'm 37 and this was my first pregnancy after trying for so many years. we had given up and thought i couldn't conceive, but i feel blessed it happened and i was pregnant for a short time. i never thought this could happen. I'm devastated. and i feel for everyone who's had to suffer too. i wish you all well and hope your dreams come true one day.

Stormy
Post 62

To post #52: Always get a second opinion. The same thing happened to me. I had been spotting. I was about 11 weeks along and the doctor told me I had an empty sac and that I needed to have a D&C. Over the weekend the spotting stopped.

I went to a different doctor on monday, she did a sonogram and the baby's heartbeat was strong and he was running in place and doing flips! Always get a second opinion!

anon47323
Post 60

Although I am sad for everyone and their pain, I am comforted by hearing others have gone through what I have just started to experience myself. Similar to many of the other postings, I found about my first pregnancy and saw my doctor several times before getting my first "real" ultrasound in late September when I thought I was just over 9 weeks. They tried the abdominal one, but then thought the baby looked to be only a little over 7 weeks and no heartbeat was visible. They then did a transvaginal ultrasound and determined that there was no heartbeat and that the baby must have stopped developing or died around 7 weeks. It is devastating to go through this, especially when you do not have a clue that things aren't right. Pregnancy tests were still coming out positive, you were doing all you were supposed to do - taking your vitamins, eating right, going to the doctor regularly, and then all of the sudden you find out this shocking news. My doctor strongly discouraged medication-induced miscarriage, and pending if I do not miscarry within the next few days, a tentative D&C has been scheduled for next week. I am very scared of the D&C and of course scared to try and get pregnant again in a few months after going through this. However, I really do want to thank the women on this site for posting their stories because it really has been a source of support for me.

anon47212
Post 59

I am going through the *same* thing as post 56 and 57. I went in this week for my first ultrasound at what I thought was 9 weeks. Midwife tells me all she can see is the embryonic sac of a 3-5 week pregnancy so either my dates were off or I have miscarried. I know my dates could possibly be off so I try to keep hopeful. In the meantime she sends me for HCG levels x2 48 hours apart. My levels did not double as she wanted them to but they did slightly increase from 7067 to 7431. She instructed me to get a D&C or take meds to cause contractions and get rid of the baby. I just can't see doing this without a positive sign that there is no baby. Why not wait a few more weeks as long as I'm not bleeding and check the ultrasound again? I have seen so many stories online of women who went through this and ended up with a healthy baby in a few months. I am not naive (I am an RN)and I know I likely have miscarried but who is to say the ultrasound machine or the labs weren't faulty? How am I supposed to trust this one midwife's "gut feeling" that I have had a miscarriage and just "get rid of everything"? Is it just me or does it seem like health care professionals everywhere are telling women to terminate pregnancies that aren't progressing like they want but maybe aren't an actual miscarriage? My gut feeling tells me to wait it out until I either A) start bleeding, B) running fevers, C) my HCG levels start decreasing, or D) I see a heartbeat. Anybody out there been through this? I would love to hear your outcomes.

anon45257
Post 58

Thank you, ladies, for posting your stories. They *are* comforting. It is so good to know other women have gone through this. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for a long time. We were so, so excited to find out we were pregnant with our first. We heard the heartbeat at seven weeks, four days and fell even more in love. We told *everybody* our news. Two days ago, I noticed a very small amount of brown blood. I called the doctor first thing Monday morning (the bleeding started on Saturday). I wasn't too worried, because I had heard a lot of women spot when pregnant. There was no heartbeat. The ultrasound revealed that the baby had died at eight weeks, four days-- even though I thought we were 11 1/2 weeks pregnant. The baby, though not alive, is still inside me. This is what bothers me the most, having my baby inside and knowing it is dead. It was evening yesteday when we got the news and now it's almost 6 a.m. the next morning. I just want to call the doctor and schedule another ultrasound so we can be 100 percent sure the baby is not living and then just get the baby out of me. It is sad enough to lose a baby, but it somehow feels worse to be carrying a non-living body inside my own body. I do have faith, however, that this, too, shall pass. We will have a healthy baby and at least we know we can conceive now.

anon42889
Post 57

I am going through the same thing as post no. 56. I just found out Friday and had another ultrasound done today. They tested my HCG levels and they came up a little bit but there is no heartbeat. I have to go back for another blood test on Wednesday and another ultrasound but it looks like a very high probability that I have miscarried. This was our first pregnancy and it really hurts. The worst part is at nine weeks it was finally seeming real to me and now it is done. Honestly I just want this to be over. The news is bad enough without being put through this waiting game.

anon42457
Post 56

i went in for my ultrasound at what i thought was my ninth week of pregnancy. nothing had changed, i still had the nausea in the morning that made me slow to get out of bed, i still had the crazy fatigue that made me feel as if i could just doze off out of the middle of nowhere, i still craved cinnamon toast crunch all day.

i had planned on going to my appointment alone (my fiance is still living and working in canada and this was mid-week) but luckily my mom decided she could take off from work 15 minutes early. i was so excited to see my first baby for the first time. all i have ever been sure about in my life is that i want to be a mother. my heart raced as i felt the cold, smooth instrument roll across my barely-swollen belly. i saw a small, black kidney bean shape at the top of my uterus, but no color to indicate blood flow, no flashes to indicate a heart beat. my baby had passed away at seven weeks.

i was shocked and didn't believe the moment was real at first. and then came the tears and i felt as if i had known all along.

i am taking one moment at a time, about to pick up the medecine to assist the remainder of my miscarriage in my own home. i am still not sure what i will do once the little one has passed from my body: how to give it a decent memorial, where to bury it if i do. one moment at a time.

at a rate of one in every four women miscarrying, i can only be thankful that out of three sisters, i am the one who has to cope with the burden and pain of this; and i will pray every day for all the women who carry this same load in their lifetime.

anon42411
Post 55

I just experienced missed miscarriage. Having had early miscarriages before after my pregnancy was confirmed I was high-risk and underwent 4 ultrasounds. The first established a 3-week old pregnancy. At five weeks a heartbeat was identified, and a week later the heartbeat was again identified and the pregnancy progressing, at eight weeks a strong heartbeat which we were able to listen to and excellent fetal growth. My next appointment was for 12 weeks, Monday, where no heartbeat was found. The pregnancy stopped progressing at just about ten weeks. A D and C was performed. My problem, which is incredibly upsetting, is I seem to wake up each night since having forgotten I am no longer pregnant. Logically I know the pregnancy is over. Yet my sleep is completely disrupted and I awaken to confusion, disorientation and a need to "remind" myself I'm no longer pregnant. This being the fourth night since the miscarriage, I am unable to consider sleeping for fear of "forgetting" again. Has anyone experienced anything similiar? It's not a matter of "wishful thinking." I truly wake up pregnant and need to remind and convince myself I'm not. I feel like if I stay awake it will offer some solution but realistically that is ridiculous and impossible. Any thoughts would be so greatly appreciated.

anon42008
Post 54

i had a missed miscarriage last year. i went for a routine scan at 13 weeks without my fiance. thank goodness i didn't go by myself like i was first going to! i took a friend. i knew the minute he put the scan machine on that something wasn't right. the baby had died at nine weeks and 1 day. i was sent to the hospital the next day where i was made to sit in acccident and emergency for 3 hours waiting for the specialist. when i finally got to see her she keep tellong me about my products of conception. i said to her don't you mean the baby? she said no it died. i couldn't believe it. i told her before i went in that i wanted my "product of conception" back when i woke so i could go home and bury my baby to have peace of mind. this did not happen. she told me it was really important for them to do tests to find out if there was anything wrong with it's genetics. i was outraged. i have a perfectly heathly child so why would there be anything genetically wrong with this one? i would not have a D and C at this hospital ever again. in fact, i wouldn't go there even if i was dying. i bled for six to nine weeks after my D and C which was very draining and i became ill. I am now nine weeks pregnant and hoping all is well. although i feel pregnant this time. last time i had no symptoms so i guess it was never going to go right. my heart goes out to all you women. greiving is a natural part of a miscarriage and a missed miscarriage where you have no sign of anything wrong.

anon41897
Post 53

I was 11 weeks pregnant (or at least I thought I was)when I found out that my embryo died at seven weeks, three days. I started spotting and my doctor couldn't find a heart beat. I had an ultrasound and they confirmed there was no heartbeat. The doctor said to let it just naturally come out. I thought it had gone but nine weeks after the missed abortion I started bleeding quite heavily. I was bleeding for 12 days. During that time a huge clot had come out. Two days after that I then noticed the embryo lying on my pad. I could see its eyes and was I so shocked. I didn't realise that I would ever see this tiny little baby (embryo)that could have turned into a little being. I was devestated about the whole thing. It took nine weeks to come out. I took a photo of it and the doctor was quite shocked to see it as well. I am hoping to have another baby next year. Hopefully everything will be ok.

anon39786
Post 52

I have a question if somebody out there can help me. I am 4-5 weeks pregnant or was. Yesterday I went to the hospital because I was spotting. I went right away because I have had to miscarriages before. After hours of waiting they gave me a sonogram. Finally the doctor came to see me and said that everything was in place and for me to go to see the doctor or clinic I am seeing for my prenatal care (I haven't been in any clinc so far because I just found out). He tells me they are going to discharge me and the nurse would be with me in a minute to give me my paperwork. When the nurse came in she tells me that the sonogram showed the sac but not a baby. I was shocked and didn't ask any questions and left. I cried all day and I expected everything that comes after you have a miscarriage. Like I said I had 2 before, but to my surprise I stopped bleeding and I had no pain at all, never did. So my question is, what should I do? I don't have any insurance now. I know I can qualify if I am pregnant but right now I don't even know if I am. Should I wait and how long is safe for me to wait? After reading all these stories I see that I am still too early in my pregnancy and maybe they just missed the baby. Who should I believe the doctor or the nurse?

anon39331
Post 51

Yesterday I went for my 11 week appointment and was devastated to learn there was no heartbeat. The baby died around week 8 with no progression. We are so sad and I feel extremely guilty. At the 7 week appointment, there was a heartbeat, at this time my Doctor advised me to stop breastfeeding my 16 month old, which I didn't. I know there are many reasons why missed miscarriages happen so I can only speculate and work through these emotions with my husband. I have no bleeding or spotting. I am scheduled for a D&C next week. Reading other peoples stories has helped me through this difficult time. Thank you.

anon38659
Post 50

I had a miscarriage in 2008. They said I was seven weeks, two days. No heartbeat was heard during the ultrasounds. I was supposed to go back in two weeks, thinking it still may have been too early to hear a heartbeat. At nine weeks I began to bleed lightly during the night. The next day it had all passed naturally. It all happened so fast. I am now pregnant again, at eight weeks, two days I heard the fast little heartbeat. It was amazing. I'm 10 weeks now and still hoping that everything's developing okay, but not a day goes by that I don't worry something bad will happen. I can only pray this pregnancy is a happy, healthy one.

anon37910
Post 49

I am 10 1/2 weeks pregnant with twins. At 6 1/2 weeks we had our first U/S and saw them both. We saw and heard their little heartbeats. Just 2 days ago we went to have another U/S at the hospital and were very unhappy with the tech. When she walked in she immediately announced that she would be taking the pictures for the doctor and not to ask her any questions because she was unable to answer them. (no hello, how are you?.. nothing) She did an external US and then said we could go wait in the reception area. She called us back and said the radiation doctor wanted to talk with us about the results. She told us there were no fetal heartbeats and our babies had died. We were obviously upset, but a little confused because they did not do the endovaginal u/s like last time. Why would they give us this tragic news without being thorough? We contacted our OB and he said we could come in the next day for an office endovag u/s for confirmation. There were no heartbeats or bloodflow to the babies. One had died 8 wks 5 days and the other 8 weeks 1 day. We were (and still are) crushed. This was all very shocking to us because I had no cramping or bleeding at all. I go for the D&C on Friday (4 days after the original diagnosis?)

Moderator's reply: Please accept our condolences for your loss. Also, our sympathy and thoughts go out to all who have had miscarriages.

anon35684
Post 48

hi i had a miss about a year ago. the hospital would not do a d&c on me. my period has been so bad since then. even worse then i had after my first son. about a 1 year later it feels like it again but i haven't been with anyone to be pregnant. does anyone know what this might be i am is so much pain. its been over a year sice the miscarriage. Could there be some left in there. im the type not to really get cramps but this time it feels like labor

anon34651
Post 47

Hello I just thought I would share my story on here.

My husband and I found out we were expecting our third baby, by taking a hpt on 6-5. We were very excited as we had been trying for about five years. Later that day we had an appt. to confirm this pregnancy. That doctor scheduled us an U/S a week later for dating as I am irregular and he said "to find out if this was a good pregnancy" (I'm still unsure why he thought of that as well).

At that U/S on 6-12 we were terrified and shocked to find the fetus had no fetal heartbeat and no fetal movement and the baby had already grown to 8wks 5dys. They said there should be fetal heartbeat by around 6wks as well as fetal movement by then. They then said it is a miscarriage. We were told to see our Dr. immediately. Since the clinic and hospital are 20miles away I had grieved all the way there. Once we were there the Dr. said there is around a 2% chance for human error in what they were seeing, so he wanted to do blood work to check HCG levels two separate times. We did bloodwork that day and came back with 19015 level and about a week later on 6-18 the level had dropped to 5893 level. The Dr. then told us this was good indication of a missed miscarriage.

I was scared to pass the baby and yolk sac naturally as I had read about not passing everything and people getting infections and such. I also didn't want to see anything that I thought was recognizable to a fetus in my underwear or toilet(it just plain scared me). I opted for a D and C which still made me nervous, but I got lot of comfort from the nurses and Dr.s that it wouldn't be that bad.

We had D and C consultation with the Dr. the night before the procedure. The Dr. also gave me some misoprostol to help dilate the cervix and he said there is a chance I may pass the baby and other tissues at home. I took it before bed as he said to do.

When I went to the bathroom the next morning I saw a big blood clot about 2 inches in diameter in the bottom of the toilet. I assumed this was the baby and other tissues. It didn't upset me as much as I had thought it would. I believe after the last two-three weeks of ups and downs I was just relieved that the scary ride was coming to an end. We did go in that morning(6-25) to do the D and C anyway as the Dr. wanted to be sure everything came out.

This procedure went way better than I imagined. They did a general anestetic and all I remember is them hooking up the blood pressure cuff and oxygen monitor. I have no pain and light bleeding today. I do not expect any complications from this and hope to be able to conceive soon after they give the green light. Mostly I hope this is informative enough to help ease(if not only slightly)peoples anxiety with their similar situations. And let them know eventually the scary ride does come to an end and know it does get better.

I have felt a range of emotions as I went through and still going through the loss of our beautiful baby angel. All in all I believe all of those emotions are normal steps in grieving. Better luck to all, and god bless our families we do have and appreciate everyday.

giselle
Post 46

I had an u/s at 6 weeks, no embryo but sac present; went back to have u/s at 7 weeks 5 days showed growth of embryo (7 1/2 weeks) but no fetal heartbeat. Talked into a d/c that day---now reaalllyy regretting it.

"should have had heartbeat at this time" vs it did grow and maybe they missed the heartbeat??

help if anyone knows!

anon33971
Post 45

I went to my first Dr. visit at 9 weeks. I was so excited to go and couldn't wait to see my little baby. They did a vaginal sonogram and couldn't find a heartbeat. They sent me down to the ultra sound department and it was the same result. He talked to me about the D&C and also that i could just wait it out and let it happen on its own. I'm having a very hard time and I just want it over with but i'm really scared to do the surgery. But I also don't think i can handle waiting emotionally. This is the hardest thing I have ever been through and i'm just heart broken.

anon33431
Post 44

Hi i am 11 weeks pregnant. During my first visit the doctor didn't ultrasound me just only pap smear. During my second visit that is 8 weeks the doctor did an ultrasound but he cannot find the heart beat. He ask me to do the blood test every 48 hours. My first test was high and the second test low. He ask me to undergo a vaginal ultrasound again but still he cannot find the heart. He said it is a miscarriage. But i cannot believe it because since i was pregnant i never experience at all any morning sickness or illness and until now that i am 11 weeks i didn't feel any sickness or blood clots. Please help me. I don't know what to do because the doctor told me to do the d and c. Thanks.

Mahshid
Post 43

For the last 3 days I had spotted. Then I called my dr. He sent me to an ultrasound center and there I found our that the baby of my 9 weeks pregnancy had not any heart beat. It stopped growing on week 8. It is very very hard to deal with this, when you are alone in there. We planned everything for this baby. I cried almost for half a day and I even thought of suicide!! But after a deep sleeping, I am able to think now. Life is like this. It is challenging and we have to deal with problems. I extremely believe that something good will happen after this. So, I am trying to accept this in order to have a future successful pregnancy. Hope every body who has this problem can have a challenging personality.

anon31770
Post 42

I went with my aunt to the dr's today for her ultrasound, only to find out there was no heartbeat, she started crying and there I am with my 2 month old daughter, i felt so bad, I too went through this 2 years ago at 4 months, my baby had stopped growing at 10 weeks, but even though I knew how she felt I didn't know what to say to comfort her. Only that things happen for a reason and god has plans for everyone. I pray to god that he will bless her family with a child soon. For all you guys out there who have went through this, time will heal.

anon30834
Post 41

It was my appointment to my doctor yesterday and I was so excited that I would finally see my baby! It was so heartbroken and devastating for me to hear from my doctor and the lady that did the ultrasound that my baby had no heartbeat. I was so shocked. How could that be possible? I was supposed to be 12 weeks and 4 days pregnant.

My first visit to the doctor when I was 8 weeks pregnant, she didn't ultrasound me the first visit and did only the Pap Smear. She said so far everything about me and my pregnancy is okay. My second visit was yesterday, and I found out that my baby has no heartbeat?

I don't understand this. I still can't accept the fact that the doctor told me that my baby is dead inside me. I am so hurting right now. We were waiting for this baby for so long and this happened. I am still trying to accept it, but I can't just yet.

Sorry for all our losses. It's a very painful fact.

anon30398
Post 40

2 months ago I started to have some spotting. I was 10 weeks pregnant and I went to the ER after contacting my Dr. They ER determined that my baby didn't have a heart beat and had stopped developing at 8 weeks. I had the D&C done at my Dr's suggestion.

I am not only dealing with the loss of my baby, but I am also dealing with the insurance company because they refuse to pay for it because the Medical Term for a Missed Miscarriage is a Missed Abortion. I am starting the process of an appeal with the Insurance company.

anon27993
Post 39

To those of you who don't know how to cope with your loss, know that only time will heal your heartache and try to focus on the fact that it was two love's that created something so special and that you both can create another life just give it time.

I had a missed at 7weeks 3days and didn't find out until my 11 week ultrasound, so many thoughts go through your mind and you think how unfair, but it is us who will love are children more, because we have already lost something we loved so dear.

anon26438
Post 38

I was 15wks and had only seen my baby at the 8wk ultrasound/checkup & he was growing great! But sadly at 15 wks i started to spot.It was the weekend so we decided to go to the ER. They found no heartbeat and found that he stopped growing at 11wks. Our world fell apart.

I chose to miscarry at home, what i saw was a beautiful, intact, small baby boy that had every finger and toe. He was nothing as to what they told me to expect.

I did have to have a D&C to be cleaned out, some tissue was having a hard time coming out. It was *very* painful! Like another poster I'm *very* against abortion so I would not allow them to tear my child even after death as though he hadn't meant anything.

We got to bury him in his garden of remembrance, because we never want to forget. It brought out a lot of questions but also a lot of closure. This was our 1st missed miscarriage but our 2nd miscarriage.

We are very fortunate that we have 2 beautiful girls that we conceived between the miscarriages but we have never stopped missing our little angels. You never stop thinking about them and the pain never stops but you just learn to live with the pain.

anon25541
Post 36

My girlfriend and I were inseminated and after a 2nd try we got pregnant. At 6 wks we didn't see a heartbeat. We were told that it was still a little early, we returned at 7 weeks and there is was a joyful flicker on the screen. With the video camera in hand we went back for our last visit with the reproductive doctor at 9 weeks and to our horror there was no heartbeat our baby died a few days before this last sonogram. My girlfriend will be having a D&C in a few days for genetic testing. We are praying for a 2nd pregnancy.

anon25193
Post 35

I've had 3 missed miscarriages and 4 D&C's in the past year. It measured between 8-11 weeks. During my last pregnancy I had weekly blood tests showing my pregnancy hormone went up just perfectly but the baby died. So hcg is not always a good indicator of the progress of the pregnancy.

goregirl21
Post 34

My heart goes out to all you women on here.I have a 1 year old healthy baby boy who after three years of trying we finally got pregnant so second time round we couldn't believe our luck when the first month of trying we got pregnant and we were so excited!! went for my routine 12wk scan to discover that our baby had died at 9weeks 1 day i was so shocked as i had no clue that anything was wrong. the thing that i find the hardest is that people just don't understand why you are so upset and just don't get it. I opted for a d&c as i felt i couldn't go another day knowing that my baby was in there and it had died i bleed afterward off and on for a month had numerous test to find out why but they didn't discover any reason so for every person it is different hope this helps.

mom29
Post 33

I also did have 2 D&C with both miscarriages because my body wouldn't expel them. After my first D&C it took 2 years to get pregnant and I had a healthy pregnancy. Then after my second D&C I got pregnant exactly 7 days after my D&C. I also have the RH- factor and had gestational diabetes with both pregnancies but it was well controlled. I am tending to think with my pregnancy now that the doctors are just off on my conception date and should repeat my HCG level test before my next ultrasound.

anon24748
Post 32

I recently had another missed miscarriage. I went in for my first appointment at 9 weeks and an ultrasound was done to find the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks. This had happened before with my first pregnancy. I was 11 weeks when I started to bleed a little. An ultrasound was done and showed that the baby had stopped developing at 7 weeks. Both times I had a suction D&C. Between these missed miscarriages I had a healthy boy. He is now 20 months old. I am posting to let people know that there is hope and it is very possible to have a child after a miscarriage. I am hopeful that my next pregnancy will result in a healthy baby sister or brother for my son. :)

wbam09
Post 31

To all the women here on this discussion, my heart goes out to each and every one of you. i have endured 6 miscarriages, all ending before 2 months. I understand the frustration and guilt and sadness that accompanies losing a child. And i won't lie to you and tell you it will get better. i won't try and pacify you by telling you to give it time. but i will say that you will learn to live with it. you will never forget, the pain will always be there, but eventually, you will learn to deal. i think im finally almost getting to that point after 7 years. im trying to make peace. Talk to God. He will definitely help you through.

anon24014
Post 30

i recently had a d&c due to a missed miscarriage. i was 10 weeks and the fetus died at 6 wks 1 day. right before the procedure the doc told my my hcg wasnt below 23000 like he thought and that they were around 50000. he said he was totally surprised but was sure that the fetus had died. and then proceeded to tell me that someone had said that there had been a heartbeat yet he was sure that i should have this procedure all the while wanting me to stop and wait 48 hours. so not wanting to go through anymore emotional turmoil i went ahead. i don't know if there is help, but i feel like i killed my baby or that the procedure was selfish and wronged my fetus. my heart goes out to everyone hear and good to you all in the future.

anon23099
Post 29

How do you begin to cope with something like this?

anon22673
Post 28

I have recently found a missed miscarriage. There was no heartbeat after an MRI was done. The baby measured up to that day and looked good on sonogram, but no heartbeat. So far, nothing has happened. At first I wanted to go under and have them get rid of it so I could move on and forget about it, but they said it wasn't an emergency bc there was no bleeding so they sent me home. I think they hoped maybe something would happen within the next couple of days. Also, I want to be able to have children in the future and from what they said, a D&C can be a risk for uterine injury, and then I'm also reading about the weakening of the cervix, which I don't want. My baby was 11 weeks and 1 day, and it's been a day and a half since it died. I'm really afraid of the pain. I think I can handle it emotionally now, but I'm more worried about the pain. I would have the D&C but I want to preserve my fertility so I'm trying to tough it out. Pray for me to have an easy time of this, and that it happens soon. I read about some women carrying the baby for almost a month or more after it's died and I can't do that, but I really am worried. It makes me sad bc I really loved and wanted this baby, and feel it was partly my fault for consenting to the MRI. I also am not married so it's not like I can ease the pain by trying again and I'm no longer with the father and am not just going to get knocked up with someone. I haven't been with anyone since the father. It was a miracle baby and happened at such a special moment--it's difficult to understand why this would happen at all. But I know there are others out there who have similar grief or, I think about women who maybe miscarried after their husbands died in 9-11 or something similarly tragic, and I know I can make it. I am older too, and it seems I'll never marry, so I was happy to have just this one, but it's not happening. At least this is one more thing I've suffered through, so I can relate to others and have sympathy for someone else if I find out it happened to them. I feel my pain is greater than the pain of some--already I compare my grief as being more inconsolable than that of a married woman's grief, but I guess we all have our crosses to bear. It just seems I've been carrying more than one cross lately, and for so long--this was one spot of happiness, and now it's taken from me too. I don't know if there are others who have just survived one thing after the other after the other, who wonder if it will never end? For me it's been about 10 years of misery and heartache. I hope this inspires someone else to share their thoughts.

anon22618
Post 27

On wednesday I went for a regular check up with my midwife, I was coming up for 19 weeks pregnant. She couldnt find a heartbeat for my daughter and was concerned when I told her I had felt absolutely no movement. I was quickly sent to hospital for an emergency scan to confirm the babys heartbeat, and they were unable to find one there either. I was heartbroken, at this stage in my pregnancy I had begun to make plans and preparations for the arrival of my first baby, I am only seventeen years old but knew right from the very beginning that I would love my baby more than anyone ever. The next day I was asked to come back to the hospital. I was offered a D/C but chose instead to give birth to my daughter so I was able to hold her afterwards, I felt like I needed to do this in order to feel something. We named her Lilly Grace Stokes and took her home with us to bury her by the Lily Pond in my garden along with the ashes of my grandfather. There was no reason for my baby to die, she was perfect, just very tiny. And I love her more than I have ever loved anyone.

anon21961
Post 26

I went for my 12/13 scan last week Wednesday to find out the baby has no heart beat and is only 6 weeks old, they told me I may well pass it in the next week, but I need to go back for a scan this week, but its now Tuesday and the baby still has not come away yet. I feel like a walking coffin. I don't know what to do or think, I know in my heart it Died and at the same time I'm hoping when i go back this wednesday they will see the heart beat and it was me who got my dates wrong.

If however it has really died I know I can't sit back to see when it will come away by itself. I don't know how to feel now, some days I'm fine and other days I'm not.

anon21950
Post 25

Odd it is, that everyone didn't have issues with bleeding when they started to bleed after a missed miscarriage...My story is somewhat weird I guess.

I was 12 weeks 3 days when I started having some brown discharge...I went to the ER since I had not yet been seen by a doctor cause of insurance reasons. I was given an ultrasound cause I threw a fit. As soon as they put the wand on my belly, I knew that it was over. There was nothing...not even a sac. They said that the baby didn't develop past the 4th or 5th week. The doctor apologized to me...offered me something to sleep (I declined), and sent me on my way to miscarry at home. Well I bled as if I was having a normal heavy period for exactly 7 days...then the normal period turned into a water fall...I was rushed to the hospital with towels all around me...they tried to stop the bleeding with injections of petocin to no avail...I was rushed in for an emergency D&C. My body was not wanting to expel anything naturally...when I woke up after the surgery, I was barely bleeding, I was very thankful that I didn't die. My blood count was so low that I was almost passing out. I was happy to have it over with. Exactly a year later, I gave birth to my 3rd child, my first son...exactly to the day Sept 17th since my D&C...I thank God now because if I would have carried that one, I wouldn't have had my darling lil boy. Who knows why things happen that way, but they do. We are never going to realize the power of Gods works.

hbettes
Post 24

I am 10 wks and had some spotting, went to ER. Dr didn't even believe me at first I was pregnant. I am one of those people who were so excited I took like 12 tests plus the prenatal visit @ dr. They took blood and did a pelvic. I then had to go do an ultrasound. I saw the sac I saw dots that could've been the heart but they didn't tell me anything. All they said was that they think I will miscarriage cause my baby seemed to only be at 5 to 6 weeks along. So I'm feeling like a walking coffin and not able to really relate to anyone right now. Any ideas of how to start to deal with any of this?

anon21095
Post 23

Hi, I went for my 12 week scan and the baby was found to not have a heartbeat. Like many in the comments I was continuing to have pregnancy symptoms including nausea and also tiredness. Only weird thing was that I had a dream three weeks before the scan that I would have the scan and there would be nothing there. The scan showed that the embryo was measuring just under 7 weeks which was heartbreaking for both my husband and I. I decided to go for a medical management option as I hadn't had any bleeding and there were no signs that a miscarriage was imminent. This meant that I could avoid having a D&C and the risks associated of both a general anesthetic and also the risk of uterine injury. Although distressing waiting in the hospital for things to happen, I would recommend this as an option as it gives a grieving process whilst also not being any more painful than a bad period (they also offer pain relief however I did not choose this). Only thing to bear in mind is that there is quite a lot of bleeding in this method and you do have to monitor whether the pregnancy tissue has completely come away which can be upsetting, but the nurses I had were absolutely amazing. Only other advice I would give is to ensure that you support your partner as much as you can. In some ways it is easier to deal with a baby's loss yourself as it is your body going through it, however your partner also has to cope with the fact that you are suffering for a baby you both loved along with having all of the anxiety about you. Wish everyone luck in future pregnancies. I am now looking forward to trying again having been given the all clear.

anon20805
Post 22

I had a missed miscarriage at 18 weeks. After being admitted to the hospital and labor induced, I delivered my baby. I am strongly against abortion, but I had held my baby and knew that just because a D&C is an abortion procedure didn't mean I was having an abortion I allowed my doctor to do a D&C to be sure that there was no remaining tissue. I have only bled lightly and that was two weeks ago. My doctor recommended that we wait about 5 months before trying to get pregnant since I was 5 months pregnant. He ran a bunch of tests, however nothing has shown why my baby died.

anon20675
Post 21

I have just returned home after having a D&C.I was 9 weeks pregnant, and my back started throbbing for a few days. No cramping, no bleeding... just back ache. I have a very bad back (previous back surgery), so I tried to convince myself that's all it was, but I got worried. My husband and I went in for a check up to find the baby was dead. I saw the heart beat around 6 weeks, but the baby died about a week later. I carried for 2 more weeks before I knew anything. We chose the D&C because my body wasn't expelling it and I just couldn't wait for it to decide to start. I wanted it done with so I could move forward.

Someone asked if family history of miscarriage plays any role. I asked my doctor b/c my mom miscarried once, too. The answer... none whatsoever. 1 in every 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Frightening, huh?

Hang in there, Ladies. And remember that the God we praise when we see those two lines or the "pregnant" on the pee-stick is the same God who is still in control when we lose that precious baby. We don't always understand what happens, but he does have a purpose and reason.

Best wishes for happy, healthy babies.

anon19818
Post 20

I had a u/s at 11w 4 days, baby measured 7w 4days, and no heartbeat. I do not want to have to do a D & C. Doctor told me it was okay to wait it out for a while under her watch. I'm waiting now. I've started to cramp, but have never had any bleeding. Trying to stay distracted and busy as to not think about it. I would love to hear from others who waited it out and did not have a D & C or any other medical intervention. Doctor also said that she would do another u/s 5 days after miscarriage to confirm it's complete to rule out infection. Doctor is in full support of this option.

anon19325
Post 19

I am severely saddened by all of your stories, but it has helped me to read them. I thought that maybe i did something wrong. You know all the what ifs' go through your mind at a time like this. My husband and i found out we were expecting very early on (2 weeks) and 7 weeks into the pregnancy i started to spot. I went to the ER and they did an U/S to measure the baby at 6w3d with a normal heartbeat. Two weeks later i was still having the spotting so i demanded an appointment and my doctor did another U/S. At this point i should have been 8w, but the U/S showed the baby at 7w2d, again with a strong heartbeat. Last night the thick dark brown discharge came back so today, when i woke up i just felt like something was really wrong, although i had no pain. This time the U/S showed 8w5d with no heartbeat. The baby just stopped growing. Sometimes mother nature has other plans in store for us. All of you who have gone through this or worried, you are your own health advocate. Be persistent and go to the doctor when ever you feel the need. That is why they are there. Demand to be seen. This site has really helped me. Thank you for all the comments. I know i am not alone.

anon18345
Post 18

This was my 12th week of pregnancy and I had my monthly checkup the same week. During my checkup a pap smear was done to check for cancer. The following day I started to spot which by afternoon had become worse. The next day I went to the ER, and an ultrasound was done that determined my fetus was showing 8 wks and no heartbeat. It took a great toll on me. However my husband and I had thought we felt movement around week 10 and 11. What was that feeling?

anon14692
Post 17

why i am not pregnant again after three months missed miscarriage?

anon14551
Post 16

Hi, I had a missed m/c in sept.2007, I did a D&C in Oct. and I got pregnant right after, however after 19 wks. my cervix started to dilate as the D&C weakened my cervix....and I lost my healthy baby girl. Two months after i tried again and after 6 weeks I had another miscarriage. I hope this helps with your decisions.

shovan1
Post 15

I am (was?) pregnant with mine and my husband's first child. I am 11 weeks and 3 days along. After going to the doctor yesterday, very excited with the video camera and all, to hear the baby's heartbeat, we realized that there wasn't one and that the baby had stopped growing at about six weeks. No one in my family has ever had a miscarriage (or my husband's) so I don't think that influences your individual outcome.

I'm not sure at this point what will happen but I am leaning towards having a D&C as soon as I can, seeing as how my body hasn't expelled it for 5 weeks on its own. This way I can maybe start trying again sooner.

Hopeful84
Post 14

Well i had a missed incomplete miscarriage at 10 1/2 weeks.. i had to have a D&C. the operation was quick and painless afterwards. i didn't bleed for more than 1 day after. the miscarriage was extremely painful and emotional. it was my first child and time trying with my husband in our 1st marriage.

now exactly 2 months after the procedure i am pregnant again.. i know they tell you to wait 3 months and im not sure why.. i suppose its so everything is back to normal. but unexpectedly i became pregnant again. i had an ultrasound 5 days ago and i was measuring 6 weeks and 6 days.. and i saw the heartbeat! so exactly 2 weeks after the D&C i was pregnant again.

my doctor says its not bad... but im still sooo worried.. i don't think i can handle another miscarriage.. i really feel for those of you out there that have gone thru more than 1 and at so far along. im scared everyday, even tho i know its not good to worry. but i am a person like any woman that i think just was born to be a mother and take care of children. i love them .. i would love god to give me the opportunity to care and love and share my life with a miracle of mine. im hopeful that it will happen this time around. i don't know if any woman would know the answer to this question i have.. but i was wondering if you are more likely to miscarriage if someone in your family has miscarried before! cause i have no history of miscarriage in my family at all.. or my husbands??

anon13730
Post 13

I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I went for my normal checkup and we couldn't locate the heartbeat via doppler, so we had an ultrasound and there was no baby -- just a sac and tissue. This was a complete shock to me considering at 6 weeks I got to see the heart beating via ultrasound.

I had the D&C five days ago and I am feeling okay. The procedure went well and I am barely bleeding. I am having cramping, sometimes it gets intense, but I manage it with pain medication.

My doctor did offer me to let nature take its course, but I couldn't do it. I was told that my uterus had stopped growing at/around eight weeks, so the thought that I had already been carrying for three weeks after made my heart sink. I was having no signs of miscarriage and I felt it was best for me to get the D&C to be able to start my healing process. Everyone is different -- the best thing is to do what you feel is best.

My heart goes out to all of you.

anon12900
Post 12

i had a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks 5 days and didn't find out about it until 20 weeks 2 days. (today) Im having D&C performed tomorrow, and am REALLY stressed out about it.

anon11166
Post 11

I have just arrived home from the hospital after having a D&C. i had an ultrasound 2 days ago at 12 weeks and it showed the baby was only 8 weeks in size and had died. It was quite a shock since i had no bleeding or cramping except a slight brown discharge. they sent me straight to my GP who sent me straight to the hospital to perform a D&C. it was very traumatic but everything went very well with the procedure. i would recommend having one as i would hate to walk around with your baby just 'waiting for it to come out' and seeing it come out and everything. and it may not happen straight away, and quite often you are required to have a D&C anyway. best wishes to you all, and good luck.

salayton1975
Post 10

I had my first ultrasound at 9w3d. There was no heartbeat present and I was told I was measuring about 6weeks, and that maybe I just calculated my ovulation wrong. My hormone levels were high. I went back one week later. There was no change in size, and still no heartbeat. I was told the yolk sac had pulled away and everything was breaking apart. If I had not had an early ultrasound I would not have known that I miscarried. (with my first child I did not have an ultrasound until 18weeks). I am going to have a D&C this week. I was told I could wait and expel it on my own but it would be better to have a D&C to make sure all particles are gone. This would eliminate a chance of another miscarriage or infection.

anon10022
Post 9

Hi. I had a missed Miscarriage back in 2003, I didn't have a D&C I think mainly because I felt like it was aborting my baby. I dealt with that emotional feeling of that. But I was not offered through the doctor when I went into the hospital.

It's been almost 5 years and I am fine without having the D&C sadly I have never gotten pregnant again. The coolest thing is my baby was due July 7th 2004 and my best friend is pregnant and her baby is due on the same day as mine.

My baby had passed at 6 weeks although I had carried it until 3 months before it passed. It's a very graphic thing to deal with. I passed it at home then went to the hospital after that. I had passed mostly every thing in my uterus. She said there was no need for a D&C but they again didn't offer.

It was painful while I was passing it. It was small contractions, just like bad period cramps. When I went the hospital I was dilated like 2 or 3 inches. But the whole time I was pregnant I had little sharp pains in my back that would kind of take my breath away I would have to sit for a second then it would go away.

You know it's sad but you live and know it happened for a reason and never question God's work please!!!

God bless you all!

ZVM

anon9626
Post 8

I am currently 8 weeks 3 days pregnant and my HCG continues to rise extremely slowly as it has since approximately 4 weeks. My 2nd ultrasound (at around 6 weeks) showed a beautiful heartbeat. My last ultrasound at 7 weeks 6 days showed no heart beat but my HCG is still rising very slowly. Obviously since we saw a heart beat it is not a molar pregnancy/blighted ovum. I do not know why my numbers continue to increase but they are. I will have another follow up ultrasound in just two days and will more than likely need assistance with a miscarriage (medication or D&C) because of the slowly rising HCG. My body is not recognizing the pregnancy as a loss yet.

bigmetal
Post 7

if you've had a miscarriage, i don't think your hcg levels continue to rise. i'm not sure, but i think an exception of rising hcg levels in a non-viable pregnancy could be the result of a blighted ovum, or a molar pregnancy. good luck and best wishes.

anon9155
Post 6

Can your hgg (pregnancy hormone) levels go up while having a missed pregnancy?

bigmetal
Post 5

sorry to hear you lost your baby at 17 weeks. it must be difficult to have to make the tough decision of how to proceed. i'm not a doctor, but i've heard that it can be dangerous to wait to let the miscarriage happen naturally. do you have a problem with a D&C because it feels like you're aborting your baby? or are you worried about potential complications? i would listen to the advice of your doctor, and do what he thinks is best. i know that if you have a miscarriage and your body retains some of the products of pregnancy, you can get an infection. best wishes!

anon8971
Post 4

I have had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks and the baby has passed at approx 16 weeks+few days.

I only found out because my esterol levels were virtually non-existent when I completed my triple-screen blood tests. I have had zero symptoms of a m/c and would still not know if I had not been alerted by these results.

I will not have a D&C and want to know if anyone has waited for their body to labour on its own this far along.

Is it safe to wait? What happens to the baby?

Has anyone been given results of genetic testing afterwards to know what the cause was?

anon4391
Post 3

I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks 2 days. I started spotting at 10 weeks, 2 days later I went to the doctor who confirmed the miscarriage was inevitable. He sent me to the hospital for another ultrasound and they said the baby measured out 6 weeks. So does this mean the baby died at 6 weeks? This was my second pregnancy. I carried the first only 5 weeks before I miscarried. Now I am in my third pregnancy at 9 weeks 5 days and everything looks great. I am monitored very carefully. Does this mean since I have carried past 6 weeks everything will be ok??

anon4315
Post 2

A D&C is not always necessary. I had a missed miscarriage that was discovered at 13 weeks. An ultrasound showed a gestational sac measuring 10 weeks that was starting to break down. My OB allowed me to wait to miscarry. I spotted very lightly for 2 weeks. She did a HCG test at that point and my levels were at 448. We tested again 2 weeks after that and my levels were at 131. By the point where I would have been 20w4d, I finally got a negative pregnancy test. I now expect my period to return within the next few weeks. Your body is entirely capable of breaking everything down without an infection. Your doctor can simply monitor your hcg levels to confirm that the products of conception are breaking down on their own.

anon813
Post 1

When you say "Women who have carried the pregnancy materials of a missed miscarriage for a long time, may need to be hospitalized to treat...infections", how much time is "a long time"?

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