What Is the Connection between Anger and Sex?

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  • Written By: Tara Barnett
  • Edited By: Melissa Wiley
  • Last Modified Date: 12 October 2016
  • Copyright Protected:
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The connection between anger and sex depends on context and the people involved. For example, resolved anger can lead directly to sexual intimacy for some couples, while chronic anger can cause relationship problems that decrease the libido of at least one partner. They can also be related during the sexual act, and in some cases, this can be a form of rape. People with anger management problems sometimes also experience problems with inappropriate sexual desires, although this is not universal. When the two have a constant and damaging relationship, this can be dangerous for all partners involved.

There are many different ways in which anger and sex can be related, but this relationship is typically negative. People who suffer from anger issues may act out sexually through rape or may use sex as a threat to end arguments. Some people are even aroused by anger, which may not be understood by sexual partners. While it is not necessarily bad to connect the two, it is important that this connection does not cause harm to others.

Slow anger or dissatisfaction with a relationship can lead to loss of libido and sexual desire. When anger does not erupt and the problems that cause it are never resolved, it can be difficult for some people to feel sexual arousal. For this reason, making sure that a relationship is free from resentment and other types of constant rage can help improve sexual interactions.


In some cases, healthy anger can lead to increased feelings of intimacy and sexual desire. When a couple has gotten angry and the issue has been satisfactorily resolved, many couples feel closer, and overall intimacy may be improved. Additionally, in some cases, sex is used even during angry outbursts to remind couples of their intimate relationships. For this reason, not all connections between anger and sex are negative or dangerous. Even so, when sex is used to resolve anger, there is always a risk that a dangerous link will be formed between negative emotions and sexual intimacy.

Different therapeutic groups have different attitudes toward anger, but when anger is dangerous enough to require treatment, it is important for individuals to seek out a reputable therapist. These individuals may point out a specific relationship between the emotion and sex that may be related to deeper psychological problems. For people who connect sexual desire with feelings of anger, recovery can be difficult and may involve substantial changes to their thought processes.


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Discuss this Article

Post 3

I heard a doctor say on TV that if men don't have sex for a while, they are more likely to experience anger. Is this true?

I know that there is some connection between sex and stress. I think it has to do with sex triggering the production of endorphin hormones but I'm not sure.

Post 2

I can understand that people experience a reduction in libido when they are angry with their partner. But if anger results in increased libido or if someone relies on feelings of anger to be sexually active, that's scary.

One of my friends was in a abusive relationship and she disclosed to me once that her husband used to beat her up in order to have a sexual relationship with her. He wouldn't desire her unless there was anger and physical abuse was involved.

She had to go through a lot of psychological therapy when she was finally free of this relationship to be healthy and happy again.

Post 1

My mother always told me that no matter how upset and angry a couple may feel toward one another during the day, they should make up at night in the bedroom. Couples shouldn't allow anger and frustration to affect their intimacy because this is very important in a relationship.

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